Pharmacy
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Pharmacy
I had to pick up some things at the store today and swung by the pharmacy for some lower strength tylenol. There was a guy arguing with the lady at the pickup window and he looked very much in withdrawals to me (I should know what it looks like).
I was so glad that was not me. I never argued but I remember all the times being torn up that the rx call hadn't come or being told they made a mistake and it would be there tomorrow. Pharmacies were pure torture most of the time. It felt great just being a dude picking up some OTC stuff with no hassle.
I was so glad that was not me. I never argued but I remember all the times being torn up that the rx call hadn't come or being told they made a mistake and it would be there tomorrow. Pharmacies were pure torture most of the time. It felt great just being a dude picking up some OTC stuff with no hassle.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Oh tiredenough! You are so right about that! I spent many a time trying to fill scripts that weren't due yet! I was so desperate at times that I would go to emergency rooms at various hospitals around the area faking this or that fall just to get a few pills! It was madness! My husband was so upset when all these bills came in! Can you imagine paying over $500 for 8 pills! I was totally insane!
I hear you about calmly strolling in and picking up a bottle of aspirin knowing its all good and legal!
It's funny that you mention that because when I was on my way to the res. I stopped my car to stand outside and smoke. I happened to be in a cvs parking lot. Two cars pulled up that looked a little fishy. Only one person went inside and the others were waiting in the cars. I figured it must have been a a deal going on. When the guy came back empty handed shaking his head, you could tell the guy in the other car had a total look of disappointment/desperation on his face. It takes one to no one right?
I hear you about calmly strolling in and picking up a bottle of aspirin knowing its all good and legal!
It's funny that you mention that because when I was on my way to the res. I stopped my car to stand outside and smoke. I happened to be in a cvs parking lot. Two cars pulled up that looked a little fishy. Only one person went inside and the others were waiting in the cars. I figured it must have been a a deal going on. When the guy came back empty handed shaking his head, you could tell the guy in the other car had a total look of disappointment/desperation on his face. It takes one to no one right?
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Join Date: Dec 2009
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This post made me smile. It is a good feeling huh? I would get so much anxiety hoping I kept my pharmacies straight when I was using different scripts from different doctors. Very grateful I don't have that kind of stress in my life.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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We all should know that look
With a clearer mind, I realize most people don't get EXICTED about pharmacy visits or too torn up if its not there. If someone looks bummed out or angry, there's a good chance they are looking for their hit. I would bet that's exactly what you saw. I mean, who takes group field trips in two cars to CVS???
With a clearer mind, I realize most people don't get EXICTED about pharmacy visits or too torn up if its not there. If someone looks bummed out or angry, there's a good chance they are looking for their hit. I would bet that's exactly what you saw. I mean, who takes group field trips in two cars to CVS???
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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So true! It's weird before being an addict I didn't notice all this stuff before? Now, I can spot a drug deal a mile away!
Decbaby,
I did the same thing. A had a network of pharmacies to go to, so I wouldn't be noticed as a drug seeker! Makes me wonder if I was really under the radar.
Decbaby,
I did the same thing. A had a network of pharmacies to go to, so I wouldn't be noticed as a drug seeker! Makes me wonder if I was really under the radar.
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,142
Clean, probably not. I swear they all knew. Or I was just being paranoid. Lol. It was probably only a matter of time I got arrested for that stuff. I did end up in jail but for another more serious reason. Another story another time.
It's kind of cool how we can share these moments.... People in recovery grateful we're not the active addicts that TiredEnough and Clean saw today.
It's kind of cool how we can share these moments.... People in recovery grateful we're not the active addicts that TiredEnough and Clean saw today.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Canada, Eh?
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Originally Posted by TiredEnough 
I had to pick up some things at the store today and swung by the pharmacy for some lower strength tylenol. There was a guy arguing with the lady at the pickup window and he looked very much in withdrawals to me (I should know what it looks like).
I was so glad that was not me. I never argued but I remember all the times being torn up that the rx call hadn't come or being told they made a mistake and it would be there tomorrow. Pharmacies were pure torture most of the time. It felt great just being a dude picking up some OTC stuff with no hassle.
I was so glad that was not me. I never argued but I remember all the times being torn up that the rx call hadn't come or being told they made a mistake and it would be there tomorrow. Pharmacies were pure torture most of the time. It felt great just being a dude picking up some OTC stuff with no hassle.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
Great to wake up and read this post. I also don't miss those days. Gosh I knew the people the worked in the pharmacies like they were family, really I was just an addict lying my way to my next high. I had two different doctors call in to the same pharm once being careless. The nurse who called the script in just happened to be my moms friend and called me to tell me what happened and now I'm on a list all doctors received a copy etc. I made up this huge lie that my sister was an addict and used my I'd and stole my insurance card went to the other doctor. It turned into this huge mess!!! I was so nervous my mom would be called.
Just that extreme desperation needing those pills sooooooo bad so I wouldn't get sick. The happiness that I would feel after a pick up. Ugh gross. Never ever again.
Just that extreme desperation needing those pills sooooooo bad so I wouldn't get sick. The happiness that I would feel after a pick up. Ugh gross. Never ever again.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: US
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Ugh I hate the pharmacy. I think I posted on Marcus' thread about having to get a script for my daughter after a very stressful day and what a trigger it was. Someone could have easily mistaken me for a junkie when I was just trying to get them to approve an Epi pen coupon I had, lol! You have to accept this free coupon (shaking) it will save me $150! And my eyes immediately saw the Norco behind the shelf. I'm sure I had the crazy eyes.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Ha. Ha ha ha ha! !!!! Oh fancy, I wish I could have seen that one!!! I do tend to notice the
strung out ones now. They are usually much more fidgety, rubbing their arms and twisting their hair, pacing back and forth, staring at anything placed in the done basket!
strung out ones now. They are usually much more fidgety, rubbing their arms and twisting their hair, pacing back and forth, staring at anything placed in the done basket!
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chicago
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I am sure pharmacists see all types of craziness through out the day and I bet police have been called on more that a few occasions. I remember back in my pill popping days waiting in the parking lot for a pharmacy to open at 7am. I would see the pharmacist pull in and then try to wait until like ten after 7 so I looked a little less like a junky, but there was no hiding it. Trying to get partial fills because insurance wouldn't cover it yet or it had not been the required number of days between refills. Ughhh what a horrible way to live! Then once I stared doing Heroin forget it. Going into Pharmacies getting insulin syringes with my arms all tracked up. They always gave them to me, but I got some pretty sad looks. Yep it is nice going into a pharmacy these days without having to worry about that insanity, but it still does trigger me every now and again even after 18 months. The pharmacy is basically a legal dope spot for many.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
I used to also wait until they were open, driving around so I didn't look like a junkie, calling them so many times asking if the doctor had called it in yet. GOSH so much happened for all those years, it was so so so sad 
I am so thankful now I don't have to deal with that. Doctor shopping, emergency rooms, drug dealers, asking friends and family and other if they happened to have any pills, faking pain, begging, pleading, oh my goodness it was so sad and pathetic and how much control those pills had on my poor self was beyond hard. And I was so alone in all of that, and it was really hard keeping that up. I am amazed I did it for so many years. So many years. I had a friend who was my dealer, and he had a consistent supply so for long time I was able to reup every few days. I am pretty sure I handed him 180.00 for every 3rd time for 20 pills for at least 2 years. WOW that is a lot of money, no wonder I lost my house, my retirement, have past debt, owed people money, one thing I can say is I am clean today. And I don't have to borrow money. And I never risked my job, THANK GOD. At one point I wanted to steal from my boss. I knew she was a pill popper and I would walk by her office thinking I could sneak in there? This was years ago...wow can you imagine if I got caught stealing pills from her? WOW thank GOD I never did that.
THose of you just now getting clean, learn from my mistakes. As hard as it may seem, you can beat this. Its not easy. YOU can get through the sickness and get help.
I am so thankful now I don't have to deal with that. Doctor shopping, emergency rooms, drug dealers, asking friends and family and other if they happened to have any pills, faking pain, begging, pleading, oh my goodness it was so sad and pathetic and how much control those pills had on my poor self was beyond hard. And I was so alone in all of that, and it was really hard keeping that up. I am amazed I did it for so many years. So many years. I had a friend who was my dealer, and he had a consistent supply so for long time I was able to reup every few days. I am pretty sure I handed him 180.00 for every 3rd time for 20 pills for at least 2 years. WOW that is a lot of money, no wonder I lost my house, my retirement, have past debt, owed people money, one thing I can say is I am clean today. And I don't have to borrow money. And I never risked my job, THANK GOD. At one point I wanted to steal from my boss. I knew she was a pill popper and I would walk by her office thinking I could sneak in there? This was years ago...wow can you imagine if I got caught stealing pills from her? WOW thank GOD I never did that. THose of you just now getting clean, learn from my mistakes. As hard as it may seem, you can beat this. Its not easy. YOU can get through the sickness and get help.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 480
Originally Posted by TiredEnough
We all should know that look
With a clearer mind, I realize most people don't get EXICTED about pharmacy visits or too torn up if its not there. If someone looks bummed out or angry, there's a good chance they are looking for their hit. I would bet that's exactly what you saw. I mean, who takes group field trips in two cars to CVS???
With a clearer mind, I realize most people don't get EXICTED about pharmacy visits or too torn up if its not there. If someone looks bummed out or angry, there's a good chance they are looking for their hit. I would bet that's exactly what you saw. I mean, who takes group field trips in two cars to CVS???
Night owl
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
I know this is an old thread but I just stumbled upon it and can relate so much to what everyone said. It brings up so many memories and feelings of being that person at the pharmacy doing just what you all said. Paying cash to get my extra or bogus rx filled early. Begging for an early refill. Standing there pacing, jittery, dying for my next hit.
Then running out to my car or into the restroom if they had one and crushing up the pills and snorting them feeling all was right with my world again. I hate to say that a part of me still misses this, sick is at is. The rest of me reads all these posts and remembers and is so grateful and simply relieved that I don't have to live like that anymore!
And it has amazed me how easily I can spot my fellow junkies too now. I walked behind a guy yesterday ranting to his friend and it was so obvious to me. Then a few minutes later another guy asks me out of the blue how do you spell "bruise?" I told him and looked at his face and I knew.
I also saw some used syringes and a plastic spoon in the bushes and it brought up so many feelings. Who was this person/people? What did they use? How are they? And feelings about my own needle usage and just being reminded that this was/is me. It was intense. I told my counselor about it and she asked how I felt. I told her and that I also missed it, too. She said it's okay to miss it, what counts it what we do after that.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble, just needed to get this out.
Then running out to my car or into the restroom if they had one and crushing up the pills and snorting them feeling all was right with my world again. I hate to say that a part of me still misses this, sick is at is. The rest of me reads all these posts and remembers and is so grateful and simply relieved that I don't have to live like that anymore!
And it has amazed me how easily I can spot my fellow junkies too now. I walked behind a guy yesterday ranting to his friend and it was so obvious to me. Then a few minutes later another guy asks me out of the blue how do you spell "bruise?" I told him and looked at his face and I knew.
I also saw some used syringes and a plastic spoon in the bushes and it brought up so many feelings. Who was this person/people? What did they use? How are they? And feelings about my own needle usage and just being reminded that this was/is me. It was intense. I told my counselor about it and she asked how I felt. I told her and that I also missed it, too. She said it's okay to miss it, what counts it what we do after that.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble, just needed to get this out.
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Lyoness - thanks for bumping the thread up, as I had missed it.
Back before I became an A, I was an RN. Yes, we knew the "drug-seeking" people in the ER's, in smaller towns we'd call the other hospitals and say "so-and-so just got a script for ------, he's/she's probably heading your way for more".
THEN I became the A. I actually never did the pharmacy thing or dr. shop as I had ways to get what I needed. That, however, led to losing my career as a nurse. Should have been my wake-up call, but it wasn't...discovered crack, spiraled down a few more years, then finally hit bottom.
Interestingly enough, I used to do a merchandising job in drug stores. My area was often near the pharmacy counter and like the rest of you, I'd recognize an A, I'd hear the pharmacist talking to the doctor, or telling the person "you just refilled this... days ago" and I would thank HP that it wasn't me.
I do think we have a radar - I can spot an opiate A, a crackhead (I do refer to myself as a recovering crackhead, so no offense meant) and alcoholics - have abused them all.
Sometimes it's hard to see the person that I used to be, but it's pretty cool to know I'm not that person any more
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Back before I became an A, I was an RN. Yes, we knew the "drug-seeking" people in the ER's, in smaller towns we'd call the other hospitals and say "so-and-so just got a script for ------, he's/she's probably heading your way for more".
THEN I became the A. I actually never did the pharmacy thing or dr. shop as I had ways to get what I needed. That, however, led to losing my career as a nurse. Should have been my wake-up call, but it wasn't...discovered crack, spiraled down a few more years, then finally hit bottom.
Interestingly enough, I used to do a merchandising job in drug stores. My area was often near the pharmacy counter and like the rest of you, I'd recognize an A, I'd hear the pharmacist talking to the doctor, or telling the person "you just refilled this... days ago" and I would thank HP that it wasn't me.
I do think we have a radar - I can spot an opiate A, a crackhead (I do refer to myself as a recovering crackhead, so no offense meant) and alcoholics - have abused them all.
Sometimes it's hard to see the person that I used to be, but it's pretty cool to know I'm not that person any more
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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Originally Posted by Impurrfect
Sometimes it's hard to see the person that I used to be, but it's pretty cool to know I'm not that person any more
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Lyoness - Keep at it, you will get there. Remember, I'm at over 6-1/2 years in recovery and it was JUST TODAY that I had that feeling?
The other times, I was comfortable, I turned away the dope boys with the "I'm straight" and a nod. Today? I just wanted to the hello away from there, and it wasn't because I wanted dope and THAT confused me, felt uncomfortable, but it passed.
I guess "recovery road" is a loooooong road
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
The other times, I was comfortable, I turned away the dope boys with the "I'm straight" and a nod. Today? I just wanted to the hello away from there, and it wasn't because I wanted dope and THAT confused me, felt uncomfortable, but it passed.
I guess "recovery road" is a loooooong road
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 676
I remember picking up my BP meds a year and a half ago while I was still
Doing only 10mg a day of hydro. And some poor slob was at the window begging and pleading for their suboxone. I remember thinking "thank god that ain't me".
I will now go clean the egg off my face. Or put salt and pepper on those words.
Doing only 10mg a day of hydro. And some poor slob was at the window begging and pleading for their suboxone. I remember thinking "thank god that ain't me".
I will now go clean the egg off my face. Or put salt and pepper on those words.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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Thanks Amy. Yes, I have been discovering and continue to every day that it really is a looong and winding road and that it is an every day choice, too. I think I thought at the beginning that I would sort of just reach this magic place and all would be well and I wouldn't have to think about it anymore. How wrong I was.
I mean I am a year in recovery, with many slips along the way, and I am on suboxone but still this journey is far harder than I could ever have imagined. I feel ways--good, bad, challenging, painful, helpful, tearful--that I did not expect to feel. I guess what I am saying is that everything is so much different from how I imagined it would be. And even though it's much harder I am also starting to feel grateful for it, the process how it is rather than how I imagined. (I hope that all makes sense.)
I really appreciate what you wrote in another thread, too, that each day you wake up and choose recovery. That helps me immensely especially because you do have 6 1/2 years in recovery and are so strong in it.
=^o^=
I mean I am a year in recovery, with many slips along the way, and I am on suboxone but still this journey is far harder than I could ever have imagined. I feel ways--good, bad, challenging, painful, helpful, tearful--that I did not expect to feel. I guess what I am saying is that everything is so much different from how I imagined it would be. And even though it's much harder I am also starting to feel grateful for it, the process how it is rather than how I imagined. (I hope that all makes sense.)
I really appreciate what you wrote in another thread, too, that each day you wake up and choose recovery. That helps me immensely especially because you do have 6 1/2 years in recovery and are so strong in it.
=^o^=
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