Crazy
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Crazy
Last night I listened to 4 podcasts of the bubble hour. I am totally in shock how much of a problem I have been covering up. My thoughts daily ranged from "I deserve a break and some me time" to " I don't drink everyday" with plenty of other validations in between those statements. I thought it was only me with that little "F*** it just have a drink" voice repeating it self in my head when i felt down a little upset or even really happy (or just happy 
). I guess i drank for all moods. Everyone seems to be so articulate about their problem and how to manage and get through all these situations that arise. Even now I am struggling putting thoughts together. I hope i can become more grounded and knowledgeable about what this all is, and what i need to do about it. This probably sounds ridiculous to most but it is my 3rd day doing anything or reading anything about recovery. So starting off pretty ignorant. I have found so much information on this site so glad I found it! Thank you
). I guess i drank for all moods. Everyone seems to be so articulate about their problem and how to manage and get through all these situations that arise. Even now I am struggling putting thoughts together. I hope i can become more grounded and knowledgeable about what this all is, and what i need to do about it. This probably sounds ridiculous to most but it is my 3rd day doing anything or reading anything about recovery. So starting off pretty ignorant. I have found so much information on this site so glad I found it! Thank you
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Bourne, MA
Posts: 60
Here are a few of mine:
"I'm anxious and wont sleep tonight unless I drink and I have a big day tomorrow"
"It's friday and, well, weekends are made for Michaelob"
"It's monday night and it's Pats at home against the Jets, prime-time"
"It's summer and it's nice out"
"it's winter and it sucks out"
"I got a promotion!"
"I got Fired"
"Well, we were going fishing"
I could fill the next 15 pages. I guess I figure I'll start working on a more exclusive list, "why not to drink"
"I'm anxious and wont sleep tonight unless I drink and I have a big day tomorrow"
"It's friday and, well, weekends are made for Michaelob"
"It's monday night and it's Pats at home against the Jets, prime-time"
"It's summer and it's nice out"
"it's winter and it sucks out"
"I got a promotion!"
"I got Fired"
"Well, we were going fishing"
I could fill the next 15 pages. I guess I figure I'll start working on a more exclusive list, "why not to drink"
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 544
Friend-
"Ignorance" is also extremely blissful. I'm on day 366 and I've never heard of the bubble hour, nor do I care what its all about. I'd much rather ride my motorcycle, water my flowers or read a good book. As for your sobriety, all you need to "do" is not drink, today.
That's it!....Cut, dry, and paste.
The more simple you make the goal, the easier it will be to achieve.
Good luck and God Bless
"Ignorance" is also extremely blissful. I'm on day 366 and I've never heard of the bubble hour, nor do I care what its all about. I'd much rather ride my motorcycle, water my flowers or read a good book. As for your sobriety, all you need to "do" is not drink, today.
That's it!....Cut, dry, and paste.
The more simple you make the goal, the easier it will be to achieve.
Good luck and God Bless
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Posts: 28
Originally Posted by SLB1968 
Here are a few of mine:
I could fill the next 15 pages. I guess I figure I'll start working on a more exclusive list, "why not to drink"
I could fill the next 15 pages. I guess I figure I'll start working on a more exclusive list, "why not to drink"
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by Amajorityofone
Friend-
"Ignorance" is also extremely blissful. I'm on day 366 and I've never heard of the bubble hour, nor do I care what its all about. I'd much rather ride my motorcycle, water my flowers or read a good book. As for your sobriety, all you need to "do" is not drink, today.
That's it!....Cut, dry, and paste.
The more simple you make the goal, the easier it will be to achieve.
Good luck and God Bless
"Ignorance" is also extremely blissful. I'm on day 366 and I've never heard of the bubble hour, nor do I care what its all about. I'd much rather ride my motorcycle, water my flowers or read a good book. As for your sobriety, all you need to "do" is not drink, today.
That's it!....Cut, dry, and paste.
The more simple you make the goal, the easier it will be to achieve.
Good luck and God Bless
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Amajorityofone
Friend-
As for your sobriety, all you need to "do" is not drink, today.
As for your sobriety, all you need to "do" is not drink, today.
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nuudawn, It is something that i will find necessary for myself in moving forward. There is a reason i am here writing about this and haven't been able to " just not to drink". I know i need more then just feeling ****** after drinking all night to get me through not picking it up again. I feel like i am constantly up in my head with all these crazy thoughts of self doubt and all kinds of other sabotaging thoughts that keeps me coming back. It's good to know I am not alone in this and that is part of the disease talking. For now that is something i can handle and it helps me reach for an iced tea instead of a glass of red. Thanks for you response
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 544
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
Wow...good for you Amajorityofone. So glad you have found something that works for you. Others find they may need information or spiritual nurture along their road. Recovery encompasses much more for me than just "not drinking". I didn't drink just because it tasted so damn good. I drank cuz I had a whole hornets nest of issues that need addressing. But ya know..that is just me. I am no sobriety expert nor holier than any other soul trying to find their way on sober road.
The concept I am most trying to convey is childishly simple. It is very similar to what Yoda would say to you if you could imagine such a voice whispering in your ear. And that is that there is no such thing as "try." In life, there is only Do, or Do not. Ultimately, what this means is that on our very worst day, our will to succeed must override and stand above all other information, craving, emotion, logic or reason.
Put simply,
Success is intentional, not "accidental."
Thus, my personal mantra... All I have to "do" is not drink today.
Simple.
Remarkably achievable.
Now let's go get an ice cream!
Of course, I reinforce this command on an almost daily basis with things like prayer, listening to gospel music, church, both physical as well as online, exercise, staying out of places that serve alcohol, staying away from most people, reading voraciously, staying active, and keeping my television off most of the time.
The whole thing sounds kind've myopic but it will work, if you "work it."
Good luck and God Bless
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Join Date: Dec 2006
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Originally Posted by Amajorityofone
Hi sweetie!
The concept I am most trying to convey is childishly simple. It is very similar to what Yoda would say to you if you could imagine such a voice whispering in your ear. And that is that there is no such thing as "try." In life, there is only Do, or Do not. Ultimately, what this means is that on our very worst day, our will to succeed must override and stand above all other information, craving, emotion, logic or reason.
Put simply,
Success is intentional, not "accidental."
Thus, my personal mantra... All I have to "do" is not drink today.
Simple.
Remarkably achievable.
Now let's go get an ice cream!
Of course, I reinforce this command on an almost daily basis with things like prayer, listening to gospel music, church, both physical as well as online, exercise, staying out of places that serve alcohol, staying away from most people, reading voraciously, staying active, and keeping my television off most of the time.
The whole thing sounds kind've myopic but it will work, if you "work it."
Good luck and God Bless
The concept I am most trying to convey is childishly simple. It is very similar to what Yoda would say to you if you could imagine such a voice whispering in your ear. And that is that there is no such thing as "try." In life, there is only Do, or Do not. Ultimately, what this means is that on our very worst day, our will to succeed must override and stand above all other information, craving, emotion, logic or reason.
Put simply,
Success is intentional, not "accidental."
Thus, my personal mantra... All I have to "do" is not drink today.
Simple.
Remarkably achievable.
Now let's go get an ice cream!
Of course, I reinforce this command on an almost daily basis with things like prayer, listening to gospel music, church, both physical as well as online, exercise, staying out of places that serve alcohol, staying away from most people, reading voraciously, staying active, and keeping my television off most of the time.
The whole thing sounds kind've myopic but it will work, if you "work it."
Good luck and God Bless
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Washington
Posts: 28
Cherl178, I have been planning my evenings from 5-10 so far I've been listening to the podcast as i mentioned in my first post and jumping on this forum over and over again. There are a couple of books i have been thinking about reading, big fan of David Sedaris (his audiobooks crack me up). I may add an evening stroll at some point. I am just trying to keep busy. I may also try going to a meeting if i get enough courage up. I have to boys under 5 (hence the audiobooks) and my husband works nights so not a lot of free time during the week for that.
I found my first pregnancy absolutely boring and hard without alcohol pretty sad. The second one i knew what i was in for and really made an effort to walk everyday and take better care of myself during that time. It was a lot better but that feeling of boredom is overwhelming. But i had a really good reason to stop drinking, i am trying to make that resolve without being pregnant.
I found my first pregnancy absolutely boring and hard without alcohol pretty sad. The second one i knew what i was in for and really made an effort to walk everyday and take better care of myself during that time. It was a lot better but that feeling of boredom is overwhelming. But i had a really good reason to stop drinking, i am trying to make that resolve without being pregnant.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Okc
Posts: 22
Cheryl, I've been exploring small local shops in my city, going to coffee shops and bistros to sit, relax, and read books. I've also been going on walks and to meetings. Basically, I just try not to be at home as much as possible. I'm a single person so that's not really an issue but you know your triggers better than anyone.
Blue, I feel your pain. I had no idea how bad I had gotten. I lost that introspective ability to objectively look at myself for a long time. Sometimes it just hits us and we realize we have to do something. Alcohol was my cure for everything... Headaches, back problems, sore throat, exhaustion, insomnia, loneliness, anxiety, celebration... Basically it just consumed my whole life. Still does :-) but now I see it at least.
Grant
Blue, I feel your pain. I had no idea how bad I had gotten. I lost that introspective ability to objectively look at myself for a long time. Sometimes it just hits us and we realize we have to do something. Alcohol was my cure for everything... Headaches, back problems, sore throat, exhaustion, insomnia, loneliness, anxiety, celebration... Basically it just consumed my whole life. Still does :-) but now I see it at least.
Grant
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by Amajorityofone
And that is that there is no such thing as "try." In life, there is only Do, or Do not. Ultimately, what this means is that on our very worst day, our will to succeed must override and stand above all other information, craving, emotion, logic or reason.
Trying taught me from personal experience what is right (and wrong) for me. Trying created the essential knowledge to better myself in real time.
I like Yoda. Funny and wise. Really knows The Force its obvious. Great sci-fi character.
Force of will is just another tool in my skill set. Always using my will power to override whatever as a regular behavior would soon enough have me going sideways if my past is any indicator. I like to use my physical senses, and my thinking, and my gut-feelings to examine my sober living experiences and to do so without fearing failure of whatever.
Knowing my sobriety is not dependent on my will power is a very valuable insight for me.
Awesome going on your self-discovery Bluedot.
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