wantabe

My AW passed away over 9 weeks ago now. I'm still waiting for the cause of death to be determined by the medical examiner. The state lab that does the tox screen is running behind and it may be 1 to 2 weeks (or more).

I feel like I'm in a holding pattern, both emotionally and financially.

And of course I feel guilty about worrying about the financial part, but the life insurance would sure help reset our lives so that we would be in a good place financially. Especially getting the younger two's college funds fully funded.

The nagging worry that I have is what if the COD come back as suicide. I don't believe that she was suicidal and there was no evidence of it, but I still can't help but worry.

I have a recommendation from a friend of a great therapist. Soon as I feel more secure financially I plan on making an appointment.

On the good news front, my oldest, who just graduated from college, is loving his job and has just scored a fantastic apartment in the heart of San Francisco near Washington Square Park.

Thanks for letting me vent. This is a safe place for me.

fedup3

I'm so sorry wantabe for the loss of your wife, I'll be praying for you and your family and that all this will come out right in the end with the insurance.

dandylion

Dear wantabe, try not to "awfulize" too much into the future. If there is no "evidence" of suicide--isn't that outcome highly unlikely, anyway.

I know, from experience, what a difficult this time is--after the loss of your wife.

Please hand around and post as often as you would like.
Several others have lost a spouse to this horrible disease.

You are in my thoughts.

dandylion

Dee74

I'm so sorry for your loss wantabe.
Please do lean on the support here.

D

Rosiepetal

So sorry for your loss.
So glad that you could find happiness in the great circumstances of your children.
Thoughts are with you.
Hugs.

Lulu39

It's pretty normal to invent answers when we don't yet have answers. I'm sorry it's taking so long.

We have a cause of death for my father and it was much more run of the mill than I had imagined. Before I knew though, my mind was inventing all sorts of causes of death. At one stage I worried about if I had perhaps broken his neck when I tilted his head to do CPR.

Your wife's cause of death, like my father's, is very likely to be something much less sinister than you imagine. Their bodies are so broken from the alcohol abuse.

If my father had actually LISTENED to his Dr., instead of believing that Drs were "all full of sh*t and they know nothing" and perhaps TAKEN his blood pressure medication (he hadn't taken any for 2 years as far I have have been able to work out), he might have had a chance. Just like we can't make them drink or make them stop drinking we can't make them take their meds or care about their own health.

Whatever the cause of your wife's death turns out to be there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. Apply the 3 Cs.

owathu

Most policies do cover suicide if it turns out that that is the determination by the coroner. The policy just can't be brand new. If it is over a few years, it will most likely still pay out. My insurance agent told me this when we were discussing life insurance for my stbx.