heatherp78

hopefully starting recovery AH has to come over tonight to babysit our child I have to work tonight and his family can no longer babysit for me all the time, but I feel sick it will be the first time I will see him since finding the horrible secret of his addiction although this time has been hard on my own I have realised that after 16 years I am no longer going to be with him he hasn't been told yet, but that's it I will no longer be looking for clues of his addiction, waiting up for him to come home, wondering why he is so secretive I know why, he is an addict and although he says he is not going to touch it again I know he has not looked for help or any meetings or gone to the doctor or anything and I can not live my life with our beautiful daughter this way anymore my daughters happiness and mine are the most important of course the finances are shot but I can sort it out in time( a very long time but in time) I hope as a friend he can find his path sorry about the rant guys even if no one reads this I have written my feelings down and it helps xx

heatherp78

well I have to admit that didn't go to plan I wasn't calm or controlled as I would have hoped to have been I had made up my mind but then seeing him I didn't know he just looked terrible and sad and broken so now Im in my own personal limbo I suppose time will help my figure it out its still early days so we will have the big chat on Friday when our little one is going to stay at grandparents(mine)

FourTwentyOne

Good luck to you for the big talk. Everyone here keeps telling me it's best to take care of you, and your child. Stay strong.