dwtbd

My wife and I are starting our vacation this week, a few days here and there various activities. First stop is with family members who drink and who do not yet know I am making a concerted effort to stay quit. I am not worried about feeling pressure to drink(I do not want to), more about having to speak to 'it'.
I do not want to be a downer, dinner and cocktails is a big part of these kind of get- togethers, a park the car and have it kind of setting, favorite restuarant , pool, beach in walking distance .
In the past these trips have always went well, everyone enjoys themselves , they would turn in say goodnights , sometimes I would actually turn in early too, but of course sometimes I would be the one 'getting' the lights and just stay out on porch and drink til I had 'my full'.
Here's how pathetic I can be, I have been entertaining the thought of trying to convince my wife that maybe me getting a little of pot(since of course the only real demon is alcohol, yada yadaa) would help her to not feel guilty of enjoying her time. I am now over that thought, but given what I have shared with her this week and realising that I really do want to stay quit , how could I even entertain this ridiculous idea?
Anyway admitting it even cyberly helps me make it 'real', well I guess wish me luck on just enjoying a good meal some nice sunshine, and if they feel bad/sad that poor me can't have drinks and any guilt they may feel and how that may affect their consumption ,its on them right?

hypochondriac

I have had crazy thoughts like that too. I remember watching the wet house documentary and thought 'oh, well I could start huffing, that's not alcohol'. I would absolutely never do that, even when I was drinking but the thought popped up nonetheless. I also had plenty of thoughts like 'if my health doesn't improve in a year I'll start drinking again'. I have tended to dismiss these thoughts as AV and not let them bother me too much. And I agree, getting them out in the open makes them lose their power somewhat.

I wouldn't worry about other people feeling guilty that you aren't drinking. I have to say that that is something I have never ever come across. Most people are actually more concerned with their own drinking than other people's. I have been out before when people haven't even noticed I was sober.

Riel

Nobody is going to feel guilty of enjoying their time because of the contents of your glass. I mean, have you ever felt guilty when you've been drinking because there's been a non-drinker in the group who isn't having as much fun as you?

Unless they are from a real drinking culture - in which case just point to your abdomen and say "liver" - they're unlikely to pressure you, or even notice it much except to the extent that some of them may decide they prefer you sober. We all have fun when we're drinking, and think others must find us fun as well, but often they prefer our sober selves, sometimes strongly.

ReadyAtLast

people won't be bothered what you're drinking. We only think they are because we have a problem. If they do go on about it that's THEIR problem, not yours.

You don't need to go in great depth about not drinking,just no thanks will suffice

Have a good holiday

dwtbd

As I appreciate the comments , I would have those ambivilent feelings toward other peoples' reactions as in general public. This specific situation is with family, mother , sister and associated inlaws, its gonna be weird , first time this topic will be discussed.

dwtbd

Just an up date to this thread, guess in a self congratulatory fashion.
Just a week or so into staying quit, went for a weekend to a drinkers' paradise, holy crap never really paid attention to others' consumption , lets just say everbody drinks at a marina. I certainly missed the good part, av was active but not terrible, on the whole, sometimes screaming at me which just made me edgy, but slammed some Pepsi and crammed some pretzels in my mouth and told the av to stump somewhere else, felt great not letting in, and nobody but yourself really seems to care whether or not you are drinking. I think I knew that going in, but it was comforting to experience and to realise that even wasting a minute on that is silly, just need to focus on shutting down the av and the self pity.