Hi all, new here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 341
Hi all, new here
Hello everybody,
I know I registered here before but couldn't remember my name/password.
I know I need to stop drinking, and have tried so many times. I keep going back to it, because it seems to be the only thing that let's me escape the feelings of depression and feeling so lost and unhappy every single day of my life.
I know the good feelings are temporary but at that moment I really don't care, I'm desperate to feel better.
I'm too old to be behaving like I do, but feel trapped, can't seem to stop. I've had months of sobriety, and still so unhappy with life (lots of things wrong, marriage, business, everything, it's not in my head, it's real).
I realize that in the long run, the drinking only makes it worse. I embarrass myself almost on a regular basis. Last Saturday still has me cringing every time I think about it. Trying to get past the shame just makes me want to drink more.
I don't think AA is for me, as social situations are a huge trigger for me. I thought about trying to find an addiction specialist (?) somebody to help me figure it out, help me to quit and find other ways to cope with life.
Anyway, just wanted to say hi, I will stick around here while I'm struggling to stay away from the bottle.
I know I registered here before but couldn't remember my name/password.
I know I need to stop drinking, and have tried so many times. I keep going back to it, because it seems to be the only thing that let's me escape the feelings of depression and feeling so lost and unhappy every single day of my life.
I know the good feelings are temporary but at that moment I really don't care, I'm desperate to feel better.
I'm too old to be behaving like I do, but feel trapped, can't seem to stop. I've had months of sobriety, and still so unhappy with life (lots of things wrong, marriage, business, everything, it's not in my head, it's real).
I realize that in the long run, the drinking only makes it worse. I embarrass myself almost on a regular basis. Last Saturday still has me cringing every time I think about it. Trying to get past the shame just makes me want to drink more.
I don't think AA is for me, as social situations are a huge trigger for me. I thought about trying to find an addiction specialist (?) somebody to help me figure it out, help me to quit and find other ways to cope with life.
Anyway, just wanted to say hi, I will stick around here while I'm struggling to stay away from the bottle.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Hi Jessie. Welcome!
Glad you got re-registered and posted.
I too used alcohol as a sort of medication for depression. And I know how it goes that it's hard to think about what's better long-term when the way you feel *now* is so overwhelming.
For me, there wasn't any hope of getting off the depression carousel until I was able to let go of the alcohol. It temporarily soothes, but then makes depression much worse when the effects wear off. Eventually, I couldn't take the cycle any more and knew it wasn't ever going to change carrying on as I was.
Wish I could say that in sobriety nothing ever goes wrong and life is consistently wonderful. I'd be lying if I did. What I do know for sure and is a fact is that I'm better prepared for what gets thrown at me.
Glad to have you around. If SR is going to help keep you away from a bottle then I hope you hang around.
Glad you got re-registered and posted.
I too used alcohol as a sort of medication for depression. And I know how it goes that it's hard to think about what's better long-term when the way you feel *now* is so overwhelming.
For me, there wasn't any hope of getting off the depression carousel until I was able to let go of the alcohol. It temporarily soothes, but then makes depression much worse when the effects wear off. Eventually, I couldn't take the cycle any more and knew it wasn't ever going to change carrying on as I was.
Wish I could say that in sobriety nothing ever goes wrong and life is consistently wonderful. I'd be lying if I did. What I do know for sure and is a fact is that I'm better prepared for what gets thrown at me.
Glad to have you around. If SR is going to help keep you away from a bottle then I hope you hang around.
to the family! I hope you can find the strength you need here to stop drinking for good.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
Welcome. For me, months of sobriety were not enough. I had to get past the first year to find a good peace. I truly believe that the longer you live a sober life, the better your mind gets. I'm 3 years and 4 and half months. Looking toward that 5 years mark, where they claim you are over the hump. Keep adding sober days. Just take each day, as they say. Come to the chatroom, you will like it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 341
Still learning how to use the boards, lol. I was sober one time for about 3 months. I still felt emptiness, and enjoyed very little in life, never felt happiness or excitement, nothing just emptiness.
I don't drink often, but when I do, it's in excess every time, can't stop once I start.
I don't drink often, but when I do, it's in excess every time, can't stop once I start.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Atlanta, Ga
Posts: 42
Hi Jessie! Welcome to SR. I'm only 8 days clean but wanted to tell you that this forum has really helped. You can find so much inspiration from reading the posts of others. Good luck and may that empty feeling be filled with the friendships of ppl here and ppl in your world.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome back to SR Jessie 
I almost don't want to say this because I thought it before I quit, but sobriety does not create happiness. I think I expected it to be a magic wand and I was genuinely shocked when stopping drinking didn't solve all my problems. What it does do is get rid of all those embarrassing moments, and gives us some self respect and dignity back. I felt much more confident sober which gave me the ability to fix things that were going wrong. It took a lot of hard work though. I felt like getting sober was one thing and then dealing with the aftermath was a whole new struggle. But it is a very positive one. No ones problems ever got fixed by alcohol. If you want to avoid social things for now I would recommend looking into AVRT. There is lots of info on this in the secular connections forum. SR in itself though is an excellent place to help you. There is a lot of information and support here x
I almost don't want to say this because I thought it before I quit, but sobriety does not create happiness. I think I expected it to be a magic wand and I was genuinely shocked when stopping drinking didn't solve all my problems. What it does do is get rid of all those embarrassing moments, and gives us some self respect and dignity back. I felt much more confident sober which gave me the ability to fix things that were going wrong. It took a lot of hard work though. I felt like getting sober was one thing and then dealing with the aftermath was a whole new struggle. But it is a very positive one. No ones problems ever got fixed by alcohol. If you want to avoid social things for now I would recommend looking into AVRT. There is lots of info on this in the secular connections forum. SR in itself though is an excellent place to help you. There is a lot of information and support here x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: mass
Posts: 27
Hi Jesse, I know how you feel I to drink d/t depression (and also boredom for me) love the immediate lift it gives, but then I know it is only temporary and I wind up feeling worse later. So tired of playing the mind games that alcohol creates. Good luck to you, I will be cheering for you
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Welcome (back) Jessie
I used to go back to drinking too because it was the only thing that made me feel better.
The thing was, I never tried anything else.
And, when I honestly looked at my life, I knew that in the long term my drinking was actually contributing to my anxiety, depression, despair and general isolation.
There is a better life out there, but we need to put down the bottle.
I know you know that
That's not easy, and it's pretty rough for a while, but you're not alone.
There's a ton of support here
D
I used to go back to drinking too because it was the only thing that made me feel better.
The thing was, I never tried anything else.
And, when I honestly looked at my life, I knew that in the long term my drinking was actually contributing to my anxiety, depression, despair and general isolation.
There is a better life out there, but we need to put down the bottle.
I know you know that
That's not easy, and it's pretty rough for a while, but you're not alone.
There's a ton of support here
D
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