Really tough day
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Really tough day
Today is day 27 and it was the first day I felt I was drowning and couldn't control my emotions. If I hadn't been able to stay home I would have really lashed out at one of those people in my life that know how to hit my hot buttons. I felt so much rage I just wanted to smash something. I couldn't finish even a manageable portion of a piece I've been working on. I could not manage to coordinate with FedEx on a pickup OR manage my frustration on the phone with their customer service. I obsessed about the people in my life i cannot seem to please or i feel psychically attacked by. Desperately wanted to beat myself up.
All this negative emotion on a day when I fit into my new skinny pants, got a job, and looked forward to a date with my husband. What is up with this???
I did run a little because I thought I would explode. It lessened the rage for sure. But I don't know what I would have done had I been AT work or in some other situation. I was just a mess. I used to just "chill with a glass of wine or 5!"
All this negative emotion on a day when I fit into my new skinny pants, got a job, and looked forward to a date with my husband. What is up with this???
I did run a little because I thought I would explode. It lessened the rage for sure. But I don't know what I would have done had I been AT work or in some other situation. I was just a mess. I used to just "chill with a glass of wine or 5!"
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Plenny - Good for YOU on getting through a tough day and not drinking! Also, congratulations on 27 days!!
In early recovery, I found all KINDS of things that annoyed me, didn't go right, etc. Gee, welcome to life without drinking/using. I didn't like it.
However, I got through those days and one more day became a month, then a year, then several years.
Like Least said, life does have it's ups and downs. It's how we handle them that makes the difference, and you did GREAT!!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
In early recovery, I found all KINDS of things that annoyed me, didn't go right, etc. Gee, welcome to life without drinking/using. I didn't like it.
However, I got through those days and one more day became a month, then a year, then several years.
Like Least said, life does have it's ups and downs. It's how we handle them that makes the difference, and you did GREAT!!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Thanks so much everyone! It's amazing what just knowing that someone else understands can do. How did I make it all month without that? I really tried to not make it a big deal or really tell anyone. It feels easier to talk about it. Thanks again
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Center of Mass
Posts: 622
I think bad days are part of being human. I've discovered that sobriety doesn't provide a path where everything is always perfect. Instead I have bad days and good days. Sometimes I have horrid days where I just fold up. The difference is my bad days aren't self inflicted by alcohol/drugs where I'm too sick to get up off the couch. Also, bad days don't occur due to my neglecting and postponing everything I should be doing because I'm too wasted or sick to get anything done.
Congratulate yourself for getting through a tough day sober. You deserve it. There will be more tough days ahead. You're building the tools and the knowledge you need to handle them.
Here's to you!
Congratulate yourself for getting through a tough day sober. You deserve it. There will be more tough days ahead. You're building the tools and the knowledge you need to handle them.
Here's to you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Hmm I really tried to grasp all day for that affirmation I must have been missing -- and thanks for reminding me what it was. Feelings are flooding at me but I'm feeling and that's living life in the present, which is what I wanted really badly for years. Xoxoxo
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