dragon12

Today is Day 5 for me and I am determined this time to give up drinking alcohol for good.

I have tried numerous times in the past but I have always relapsed after a number of weeks, My biggest battle after the physical cravings have been the little voices in my head that try to convince me that I don't have a problem and that I am perfectly able to drink in moderation - something I am clearly unable to do!

Once again the voices are there, only this time I am telling them that I don't care how much I can drink or not - I just DON"T WANT to drink!! Instead, I want to be fit , healthy and the best that I can be for the remainder of my years.

Heavy drinking over the years has taken a toll on my health and my general well being both physically and psychologically. But how long does it take before the nagging goes away.

GracieLou

Congrats on day 5!

It takes time. The longer you are sober the stronger you get until the voices are a faint memory. Are you working any recovery program?

dragon12

Thanks GracieLou. I had intended going to AA but I'm unable to drive at the moment due to a bad back. I'm really disappointed as I was highly motivated to go this time. I've chickened out so many times before!! This am I'm feeling particularly down in the dumps, so tired of this. But still determined not to give in.

Raspberry

Dragon12 I have been wondering the EXACT same thing... To be able to go through just one day not even thinking about alcohol.. without it being an issue...

I have periods when my AV goes awol, but it always comes back in the end, with a vengeance

Good luck and thanks for posting this x

GracieLou

Have you called AA? They can have someone pick you up and take you home. My first meeting I had someone do that. People give rides to people all the time that can't drive or have no car.

dragon12

I don't want to do that GracieLou. Its taken me years to conjure up this much courage with AA. My intentions were simply to go to AA and quietly sit in the background. I feel very embarrassed and ashamed about where I am with my drinking.

I am still planning on going.

GracieLou

I understand, if you are not ready, you are not ready.

I went to AA years ago and was sober five months. I relapsed for nine years. I was not ready.

The one thing I can say is we will be there when you are ready

Dee74

I find reading and posting here every day helped with that voice Dragon - it was much harder for me to dismiss my problem away when I focused on it everyday

D

wakko

You will not have to go to AA for very long to find people that have sunk lower than you. High bottom or low bottom it makes no difference. No one gets to AA on a winning streak. The only thing people in AA want is to see you get better because by helping you stay sober it helps them stay sober.A newcomer to AA is a gift that cannot be duplicated

dragon12

Wakko, believe me I know I need AA! I'm not making excuses for not to going at the moment, even though a bad back sounds like a lame excuse, its really bad and I can't get in and out of a car. Furthermore, I want to blend into the background at AA initially - baby steps at the moment. As soon as my back is better I will go!!! Feeling really strong now after my morning of self pity and I will NOT be drinking again today!!

Anna

Of course you know that many of us here succeed in recovery without AA. The main thing, I believe, is to have the motivation to make your recovery work.

dragon12

Yes I know Anna, but I've tried so many times before alone and failed. To be honest, reading all of the opinions on here about AA I don't know whether it will be the right fit for me, but I do need to try.

As I said, I'm feeling strong today and I'm taking this one day at a time.

NorCaliGal

oops!

deeker

Hi There! Sorry you can't get to a meeting dragon12. Did I send you the link to the AA Big Book yet? Here is an AA speaker On You Tube.

There are several. Just google AA speakers. It's just like being at an AA speaker meeting and you will hear some good stuff. Good Job on 5 days!