Shelpy

The hardest part of this is the embarrassment. I quit drinking today after a many day binge, a trip to the ER and all of my friends called by who is now my ex-boyfriend. He drinks too- but not nearly as much as me. I feel like my life has fell to pieces after the loss of my job, a bad living situation and overwhelming bills. Im not a bad person but I have lost myself recently. I am trying to help myself but I fear I have ruined too many relationships. My boyfriend well ex now is a very angry person with many issues of his own. Hes very mean to me but this is not his fault. I need to take responsibility for this. I wish he would help me get through this. I just text him to go to a meeting with me tonight. Lets see if he bites.

DrunkenBob

Hi Shelpy - glad you found this place. I'm a new member as well and in your neck of the woods too - Walnut Creek :-)

I don't think it's ever to late to try to get sober and posting here is a great start. It's kick started me on my journey to sobriety.

Wish you the best and hope you hang around!

Shelpy

Hi Bob,
Thank you- I will. The hardest part is figuring out how I can fix all this...maybe I cant. A year ago I was working out daily with a great job- etc now im stuck in my boyfriends garage on a couch. Everyone hates me. Im glad im welcome here.

deeker

Welcome Shelpy - whether he goes to the meeting or not, try to get there yourself. We are powerless over what others do but you have a choice today.

Take care of yourself first and foremost. This is a link to the 24 hour club within this forum, we sign up once daily and commit to staying clean and sober for 24 hours. helps to be accountable. Come join us or the July Class.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4081178

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR.

And if he doesn't, go anyway.

It's great if we can get support for quitting, but the recovery is ours to do, support or not. And the relationship with your "ex" sounds tangled. So plan on doing this on your own...with our help, of course :-)

DrunkenBob

Even as a noob I can tell you you are VERY welcome here. Most everyone here is very supportive and understanding. As someone who doesn't really confide in many - it's nice to be able to come here and "lay it all out".

Not sure how old you are but I can tell you I was SOOOO destructive in my 20's. I can't even count the number of HUGE mistakes I've made. Guess I was lucky to have a few who stuck by me through thick and thin and even then it's taken me to 41 to figure it out.

Hang in there - clean up and I'm sure the rest will work itself out.

Anna

Shelpy, I'm glad that you found us and posted.

And, know that it's important that you take action to help yourself, whether or not your ex is involved.

As far as fixing things - it takes time and patience and accepting that not all things can be fixed the way you would like.

Shelpy

Im 34. I willing to do anything to help myself now. I have been destructive to myself all until today. I just don't know what I am gonna do on my own- Im from Ohio and now live here in Cali. I know I need to get out of here and give us both some peace. My ex was in a treatment program himself a while ago- maybe he will forgive me once I get sober and he cools down. I need to find a new way of living before I lose everything. Hopefully he will stick by me atleast for now...I am going to try to find a meeting close by. Maybe I can just hide in the back and check it out.

AugustWest11

Am in the same boat .. I moved to Boston to be w\ the love of my life and have driven us farther a part. Not all b\c of drinking; since i drank around her very little. But my actions while drunk and the hiding of it and so on; But that is my story .. Just saying I can relate and am going through this now. It's tough but after 30+ days I know it needs to be done for me\her\us .. Wish you luck; stick w\ it.. It does get better .. Ohh and Welcome to the "group" .

Dee74

Welcome Shelpy

SR helped me turn my life around - I know we can help you do the same

D

Shelpy

Ive never been good at breakups. I guess I had to hit rock bottom to do this. Not drinking is terrifying to me...not because I crave it or necessarily have any physical addiction to it, Its just been part of my life for so long- Its just what I do...I started hiding alcohol in places so I could pick it up when I wanted it....My boyfriends son thinks Im a huge looser. My boyfriend hates me- his mom thinks I suck (shes the one that took me to the ER) then my boyfriend drove me to a psych ward last night and called a police officer over to talk to me...I didn't need that. I didn't go in and he was so mad at me..but Im not crazy just sad. He involved everyone including my parents (in ohio) all my friends...it not help me- it embarrassed and hurt me. that's just the tip of the iceberg...

maureen14

Sounds like these friends of your show little faith in your recovery? I am scared as hell to let go of my lover, but he doesn't take my condition seriously. He says "you know it's wrong, so you should just stop".
People have good intentions I think, but they can be naive.

Shelpy

Hi Maureen-
I understand. My boyfriend is very angry with me now due to my actions- some anger is warranted, some is not. I don't know if we can hold on. I asked for him to go with me to my first AA meeting tonight and he would not and now is being mean again. Its hard to be amongst all this anger when you finally have decided to change your lifestyle. Have you started meetings?

least

Go to the meeting by yourself. This is your life and your sobriety - do it for yourself. You'll find lots of support here.

maureen14

Shelpy,

No. I have not started meeting. This forum is my first foot in the door to recovery.
We are not together anymore. He does not take my condition seriously and he believes I cannot change.
That sort of influence me will bring me back to the bottle.

-Maureen