can a recovering addict/alcoholic still smoke pot?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 165
can a recovering addict/alcoholic still smoke pot?
hello....i was really hoping to get some advice. my husband completed a 4 month outpatient rehab program for coke and alcohol. he has been clean from both for 8 months. he also was taking xanax. the one thing he has never given up was pot. he calls it a "beast." he recently started to attend a marijuana anonymous AA meetings..but he still smokes.
today, we all got up early to go to the farmers market. it was 8AM. i noticed when he got in the car that his eyes were funny looking, and he was acting different. i knew he had smoked pot. he smokes it every single day.
i asked him about it, and he got mad...and it turned into a fight.
i am not sure what to do. he says it is so hard to stop. he goes 2 days without smoking, and then on the 3rd day, he gets these cravings for it...sweats at night, irritable...you name it. and then he starts back up again.
he is so serious about not being on coke and alcohol...but what about the pot?
any advice?
today, we all got up early to go to the farmers market. it was 8AM. i noticed when he got in the car that his eyes were funny looking, and he was acting different. i knew he had smoked pot. he smokes it every single day.
i asked him about it, and he got mad...and it turned into a fight.
i am not sure what to do. he says it is so hard to stop. he goes 2 days without smoking, and then on the 3rd day, he gets these cravings for it...sweats at night, irritable...you name it. and then he starts back up again.
he is so serious about not being on coke and alcohol...but what about the pot?
any advice?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 52
the pot is a coping drug..my opinion...my ex had to smoke every day...when she didn't there was a huge fight...i was an occasional smoker so i usually had some and she would always take advantage of it and smoke it all and i would flip out...any type of adversity she would go right to "i need to smoke a bowl"...i dont think an addict should smoke any...it leads to the next step...again IMO... but im sure youll find others of the opinion that smoking is ok
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Knoxville, tn
Posts: 58
It is really great that your husband is reaching out and getting help.
From what I've learned while my husband has been in rehab is that they recommend no mood altering drugs. Even though my husband didn't really have an alcohol problem they have told him when he gets out he shouldn't have alcohol. They also won't let him have his Xanax, for a panic/anxiety disorder, which he has a prescription for and has never abused. My husband was so anxious when he found out he couldn't have it that he almost didn't go. He has been there for 3 weeks and although it hasn't been comfortable for him he has made it without the Xanax.
From what I've learned while my husband has been in rehab is that they recommend no mood altering drugs. Even though my husband didn't really have an alcohol problem they have told him when he gets out he shouldn't have alcohol. They also won't let him have his Xanax, for a panic/anxiety disorder, which he has a prescription for and has never abused. My husband was so anxious when he found out he couldn't have it that he almost didn't go. He has been there for 3 weeks and although it hasn't been comfortable for him he has made it without the Xanax.
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
My ex was on the pot maintenance plan during every bout of sobriety attempts he made... The big book of NA states to stay away from all mind altering drugs including alcohol and pot...
So no he's not clean and unless you live in Washington State or Colorado, its also illegal to have in your possession..
So no he's not clean and unless you live in Washington State or Colorado, its also illegal to have in your possession..
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Over here.
Posts: 369
if you're still smoking pot, you're not clean and sober. it is difficult to stop. some people are surprised how difficult and tend to minimize that. i smoked for years pretty much everyday and before i quit, it had turned into all day, everyday. i wasn't sober. i wasn't clean. my mind was in a constant state of intoxication. i had the same issues stopping as you are describing with him and then some. he has to want to quit this like he did the others. i wish you and him the best.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
IMO, NO. It's just a ruse. Basically he needs something. Why is it so hard to be sober?
I guess that is a question he needs to answer, and may never be able to answer.
My xah started out smoking pot. He drank hard. Then, pot became a morning, noon and night event. He wouldn't do it before his job, but AS SOON as he walked into the door, out to the garage he went. He had to have it. He would tell me point blank, he was not going to quit. He wold have to get high same thing...before the morning market, before the park (WITH OUR CHILD). ALL THE TIME. I sensed a problem, but didn't call it addiction (although the thought crossed my mind). I asked him to stop smoking because his job drug tested, and I was a stay at home mom. He told me that would NEVER happen. Guess what? It did, and he did. A year and half later he moved on to coke (unless he was doing it beforehand and I didn't know) and 6 months later our marriage was over. Why? because he was an addict and did not want to stop. He was and may still be in denial.
I look back on all this with clarity. NO, it is NOT ok to smoke pot before you go out to the morning market. He clearly has a problem. And they do act differently. They act all spaced out and like in they are in another world. What do I want for myself and my child now? I want healthy. For example, waking up for a morning run, making smoothies, interesting conversation. What a shame your morning was ruined because deep down you knew he was not only high, but your gut is telling you that it is wrong. It is. I, too, thought this behavior was normal. Or at least tried to justify it because he was so adamant about it. No, it isn't. And, if he has had other drug use abuse in the past, IMHO, he should be 100% clean.
It is so sad to me that they fear sobriety. And I do understand there is much more to it then that. But, it really isn't that bad existing in this universe sober and your mind clear and present. In fact, life is really beautiful.
Go with your gut. Stay strong.
I guess that is a question he needs to answer, and may never be able to answer.
My xah started out smoking pot. He drank hard. Then, pot became a morning, noon and night event. He wouldn't do it before his job, but AS SOON as he walked into the door, out to the garage he went. He had to have it. He would tell me point blank, he was not going to quit. He wold have to get high same thing...before the morning market, before the park (WITH OUR CHILD). ALL THE TIME. I sensed a problem, but didn't call it addiction (although the thought crossed my mind). I asked him to stop smoking because his job drug tested, and I was a stay at home mom. He told me that would NEVER happen. Guess what? It did, and he did. A year and half later he moved on to coke (unless he was doing it beforehand and I didn't know) and 6 months later our marriage was over. Why? because he was an addict and did not want to stop. He was and may still be in denial.
I look back on all this with clarity. NO, it is NOT ok to smoke pot before you go out to the morning market. He clearly has a problem. And they do act differently. They act all spaced out and like in they are in another world. What do I want for myself and my child now? I want healthy. For example, waking up for a morning run, making smoothies, interesting conversation. What a shame your morning was ruined because deep down you knew he was not only high, but your gut is telling you that it is wrong. It is. I, too, thought this behavior was normal. Or at least tried to justify it because he was so adamant about it. No, it isn't. And, if he has had other drug use abuse in the past, IMHO, he should be 100% clean.
It is so sad to me that they fear sobriety. And I do understand there is much more to it then that. But, it really isn't that bad existing in this universe sober and your mind clear and present. In fact, life is really beautiful.
Go with your gut. Stay strong.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Hi Miller,
When my husband was in rehab, the doctors told us that it was not advisable to use addictive substances due to concerns over transferring addictions. (Especially during the first year of recovery). His therapist follows the same philosophy. The explanation he gave was that the use of the substances could interfere with the emotional recovery process. My husband needed to deal with any and all emotions straight up, and not turn to anything to buffer them. He needed to learn to cope, manage stress, and all of that. So in theory at some point it will be ok for him to have a glass of wine with dinner every now and then, but it would not be advisable for him to get into a pattern of behavior where he came home every day and had a drink after work. This would form an emotional tie; like stress relief for example. My husband is 15 months clean now, and he doesn’t drink. Neither of us do, but it hasn’t been very difficult because we were never big drinkers to begin with. Neither of us ever used pot so cant speak to that one specifically.
When my husband was in rehab, the doctors told us that it was not advisable to use addictive substances due to concerns over transferring addictions. (Especially during the first year of recovery). His therapist follows the same philosophy. The explanation he gave was that the use of the substances could interfere with the emotional recovery process. My husband needed to deal with any and all emotions straight up, and not turn to anything to buffer them. He needed to learn to cope, manage stress, and all of that. So in theory at some point it will be ok for him to have a glass of wine with dinner every now and then, but it would not be advisable for him to get into a pattern of behavior where he came home every day and had a drink after work. This would form an emotional tie; like stress relief for example. My husband is 15 months clean now, and he doesn’t drink. Neither of us do, but it hasn’t been very difficult because we were never big drinkers to begin with. Neither of us ever used pot so cant speak to that one specifically.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
To me, the more important question is....is it ok with you??? I dated a pot smoker once and I hated it. It was like being around a bowl of oatmeal. I broke up with him quickly because if it. In hindsight, I can look back now and see he had a very addictive personality about everything. Of course, I didn't realize that at the time, I just found him very boring and flat because of the pot smoking.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 628
My son is a pot addict and I can tell you its extremely addictive at least for certain people but I think its less harmful that alcohol and cocaine.
It may be that your husband is not able to quit everything at once. Given that he is not using cocaine and alcohol is a great positive and he needs some time before he gives up pot. One day at a time. Its great that he is attending MA meetings. Looks like he has the desire to quit pot as well.
It may be that your husband is not able to quit everything at once. Given that he is not using cocaine and alcohol is a great positive and he needs some time before he gives up pot. One day at a time. Its great that he is attending MA meetings. Looks like he has the desire to quit pot as well.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
Originally Posted by someoneswife 
It is really great that your husband is reaching out and getting help.
From what I've learned while my husband has been in rehab is that they recommend no mood altering drugs. Even though my husband didn't really have an alcohol problem they have told him when he gets out he shouldn't have alcohol. They also won't let him have his Xanax, for a panic/anxiety disorder, which he has a prescription for and has never abused. My husband was so anxious when he found out he couldn't have it that he almost didn't go. He has been there for 3 weeks and although it hasn't been comfortable for him he has made it without the Xanax.
From what I've learned while my husband has been in rehab is that they recommend no mood altering drugs. Even though my husband didn't really have an alcohol problem they have told him when he gets out he shouldn't have alcohol. They also won't let him have his Xanax, for a panic/anxiety disorder, which he has a prescription for and has never abused. My husband was so anxious when he found out he couldn't have it that he almost didn't go. He has been there for 3 weeks and although it hasn't been comfortable for him he has made it without the Xanax.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Pretty tough question to answer, Miller05.
I think that every cross-addicted person should get to a point in life where they can spend a good, healthy amount of time completely 100% sober. No alcohol. No narcotics. And no weed. Until you break the cycle and get off of EVERYTHING - for a significant amount of time - you're never really giving yourself a chance.
When I got sober from alcohol I rushed to marijuana. Quickly. I viewed it as a "less harmful" substance...but that doesn't mean it's harmless. I was out on the streets in Central America, on my own, looking to buy weed from dealers in dark alleys. Does that sound harmless to you? I could have gone to jail in Guatemala or El Salvador, could have been mugged, robbed, etc. But it didn't matter because I needed to have SOMETHING. Does that sound like someone who is "recovered"? Of course, if you'd have asked me I'd have told you that I considered myself sober at the time.
Your husband's recovery is his own. But I can understand how you feel cause for alarm. Good luck to you and I hope you find peace! It will work out, just make sure you are taking care of yourself!
I think that every cross-addicted person should get to a point in life where they can spend a good, healthy amount of time completely 100% sober. No alcohol. No narcotics. And no weed. Until you break the cycle and get off of EVERYTHING - for a significant amount of time - you're never really giving yourself a chance.
When I got sober from alcohol I rushed to marijuana. Quickly. I viewed it as a "less harmful" substance...but that doesn't mean it's harmless. I was out on the streets in Central America, on my own, looking to buy weed from dealers in dark alleys. Does that sound harmless to you? I could have gone to jail in Guatemala or El Salvador, could have been mugged, robbed, etc. But it didn't matter because I needed to have SOMETHING. Does that sound like someone who is "recovered"? Of course, if you'd have asked me I'd have told you that I considered myself sober at the time.
Your husband's recovery is his own. But I can understand how you feel cause for alarm. Good luck to you and I hope you find peace! It will work out, just make sure you are taking care of yourself!
Still Standing
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
My Son has smoked marijuana for years & it was actually the first drug that he used, after first being an alcoholic. It then became a springboard for him into other more deadly drugs.
Marijuana has also been the drug that has gotten him put in jail & prison, because it is detected on the drug tests for longer periods of time. He's been in the hospital numerous times dying from severe dehydration from symptoms caused from alcohol for the first few years, then from marijuana that he replaced the alcohol with. Now they've diagnosed him with illness caused from longterm use of marijuana (Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome). I also can easily tell when he's smoking marijuana & he's definitely not my REAL sweet son. Marijuana is definitely a very addictive drug & anyone who's using it is Not clean & sober.
Marijuana has also been the drug that has gotten him put in jail & prison, because it is detected on the drug tests for longer periods of time. He's been in the hospital numerous times dying from severe dehydration from symptoms caused from alcohol for the first few years, then from marijuana that he replaced the alcohol with. Now they've diagnosed him with illness caused from longterm use of marijuana (Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome). I also can easily tell when he's smoking marijuana & he's definitely not my REAL sweet son. Marijuana is definitely a very addictive drug & anyone who's using it is Not clean & sober.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: sw, pa
Posts: 81
There is a reason they call it the gateway drug.. it leads to other things. Maybe not overnight or in a year.. but it lowers your self control and slowly they go back. They realize that is not they HIGH they really want. Just like alcohol. My AH was sober for YEARS.. no drinking NOTHING. Then he was grilling one hot day and had a bottle of beer. Now 5 years later he is in worse shape than before he quit the first time. He got out of rehab and is struggling with a mean addiction to opiates and heroin. He told me while in rehab.. "I should have NEVER picked up a beer, put me right back to picking up Heroin."
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Originally Posted by howmanytimes
Isn't it possible for someone to be an alcoholic but be able to use marijuana normally? Like can't say no to beer number two but can smoke one hit of weed occasionally
This thread is from last July, so if Miller05 does not respond that's why.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: In the Middle
Posts: 632
When I quit coke and alcohol and others... I kept using marijuana. I physically and mentally thought that I needed it. I also quit on my own... I had such severe anxiety, depression, nightmares.. it was the only thing that calmed me. However, it didn't work all the time.
Then I added vicodin. I was prescribed and then got hooked on that... for years. I also relapsed on my DOC coke and alcohol for about 6 months. When I finally quit the coke and alcohol again, I was still using vicodin and marijuana. Until I was able to quit both.. I wasn't able to heal. I HAD to quit everything to get the freedom I desperately wanted. It took getting out on my own, away from everyone, friends, family... everyone. I worked, took care of my kids, paid my bills, and even through my addicted husband out.
It was time for me to get my life together, and when I set my mind on it. I accomplished that. So. No. Marijuana is not okay. It IS A GATEWAY to other drugs. IN MY OPINION.
Then I added vicodin. I was prescribed and then got hooked on that... for years. I also relapsed on my DOC coke and alcohol for about 6 months. When I finally quit the coke and alcohol again, I was still using vicodin and marijuana. Until I was able to quit both.. I wasn't able to heal. I HAD to quit everything to get the freedom I desperately wanted. It took getting out on my own, away from everyone, friends, family... everyone. I worked, took care of my kids, paid my bills, and even through my addicted husband out.
It was time for me to get my life together, and when I set my mind on it. I accomplished that. So. No. Marijuana is not okay. It IS A GATEWAY to other drugs. IN MY OPINION.
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