sportsjunky

I live an active lifestyle. I have lots of friends who play all of the same sports as me in our small mountain town. What has really made me think about quitting so recently is a guy. There is this guy who I have had this mild flirtation with for several years. He used to be a big partier but about two years ago he quit drinking. He is a firefighter, and incredibly active in the community and charity work. I'm not saying I am that interested, but when the thought entered my mind, I concluded that I could never date someone who didn't drink. That thought made me feel like I may have a problem. I don't think I want to get sober. I feel like it might ruin my life. All of my friends drink, but in what I think is a healthy way. Working in a restaurant it helps to sometimes have a shot with your table, or what the industry calls a 'safety meeting' where everyone on staff hides behind the bar for one quick team shooter. Also, I ski every day all winter. Part of skiing is getting together after for one or seven beers to talk about how sick the pow was that day. At least once a month I do over indulge and spend two days at home after thinking about all of the stupid things I said and did. And my finances are not really in the position to keep having beers every day after work. I recently had a boyfriend who wasn't that into drinking, and found myself going home a lot more often to cook a nice dinner, and watch a bit of tv in the evenings. My friends made fun of me for becoming boring. That wasn't the reason myself and this person ended things, but when we did, my friends got excited, and wanted to go party now that they had the old me back. Sorry this was such a long post. I guess I don't really say any of this stuff to anyone and there has been a lot that needed to get out.

visch1

Hi and welcome. Only you can if say there is a problem drinking. I see in your description of your drinking there seems to be much centered around drinking. Stick around and read these posts for identification. BE WELL

Nuudawn

Okay..I gotta call "bullsh*t" on that one. I am a server in a resort town too sportsjunky...and one not too far from you..Harrison Hot Springs. You really think having a shot with your table increases your tips...pfffft. Sorry. I'm not buying into that one. But hey, it's your deal..and you believe it. And that "safety" meeting doesn't sound all that "safe".

I won't talk to much at ya..cuz I don't really know where you're at with your reasons for sobriety. But I will say..from a server standpoint..that it was only last night..working...at almost 2 months sober..that I felt like I was really "connecting" with my guests. It was awesome. It was a wonderful night..and I made very good coin...sober...real...on..full blast..as myself : )

If you do decide you want sobriety..this is a great place. So welcome.

Nuudawn

Oh and P.S.. have ya seen that big ole ugly eyesore of a retaining fence on the wall near the Delta Hotel? Know why it's there? Cuz I fell off it on the way to Buffalo Bills ..hammered..well I ended up jumping off it cuz I was falling..in cowboy boots...something like 25 feet. I crushed both my heels...ended up in a wheelchair for 3 months in recovery. Ya...but I kept on drinking....

sportsjunky

Hey, I know I don't have to drink to be friends with my tables, but it does for sure help, especially if they offer, explaining that you aren't allowed, or that you could loose your job, or any other excuse just makes them think you are a square when they have seen your co-workers do one 15 minutes earlier. Don't get me wrong, I work lots of nights without a drink. I haven't decided I want to quit yet. I often go a week where I only have one beer or sometimes none, I'm just starting to question it. This might have been a bad idea coming on this forum. I didn't notice everyone could see where I was on that first post either. oops....

Carlotta

From your post, it seems that you are having a wonderful time drinking and have no real reasons to quit aside from drinking too much once a month so what are you doing on a recovery forum?

Nuudawn

Only you know what is best for you Sports. You have every right to be here and question whatever. You're a human in this giant global community we call life. Bright blessings to ya.

DrunkenBob

Sheesh folks - she's just reaching out. I don't think there is anything wrong exploring your feelings a bit.

Not everyone who may be developing a problem has total clarity on the issue.

I can relate to "not being sure" if I wanted to quit when I was in my late 20's.

Don't think there is anything wrong coming here to explore her feelings, read about other's experiences and just chat.

Just me though.

Nuudawn

You are wise to question these habits...as well as your wisdom regarding just "doing" whatever cuz everybody else is doing it. Stand tall girl...herd mentality, peer pressure...all that rot..is a lame excuse. I realize you are still young..but get a handle on that crap regardless of your choice regarding sobriety..cuz that path often leads to drunkardville.

ReadyAtLast

you don't say how old you are but I'm guessing quite young? When I was in myteens,twenties I thought I 'might' have a problem but ignored it and carried on drinking. i'm nearly 40 now and just quit,so wish I'd had the sense and foresight toquit 15 years ago. I wish SR had been around then. please stick around, read others' stories and see if anything resonates with you. you genuinely won't stop drinking until you truly want to but if you are searching out recovery websites maybe you know deep down you do have a problem? It will get worse and worse as you get older. Lives really do get ruined by drinking. Lives tend not to get ruined by quitting=it's just about learning how to live a different, better life

Please stick around SR-it's a great place

Hevyn

Welcome sportsjunky - it's good to see you here. I hope you find the help you're looking for.

I was positive quitting would ruin my life. Everything would be boring and pointless - I'd never have fun again. So I kept going with it, even though in my heart I knew where I was headed. Many years and tears later I finally realized I was completely dependent on it. My drinking, which had once been just for fun, had progressed to a dangerous point. I wish I'd questioned it the way you are now - my life could have been so different.

I hope you'll keep posting sportsjunky.

ImperfectlyMe

Why not give yourself a challenge no alcohol for a week. See how you feel think act see if alcohol consumes your thoughts. Then reevaluate. Only you can judge whats good or not for you.

I can tell you I was a high functioning alchi very active ran everyday, ski often eat extremely healthy but I used alcohol way too much to have fun unwind destress. Which is what brought me here. Been sober well over three months. I wish you luck and hope you are well on your path.

least

to SR! Only you can tell if you should quit drinking. I suggest going without it for a month or two, not a week, to see how you feel, then you can decide if you really want to quit.

Dee74

Hi Sportsjunky

sounds like you're in what I call no mans land - every thought you have that you might be better off not drinking is immediately met by half a dozen thoughts of 'no way man...this is my life...other people do it - and way worse than me...I'm overreacting...this is just a down phase...I'm young and need to par-TAY!'

I get it. Noone wants to be the alkie.

I was a musician - I couldn't even start to think of removing alcohol from my life in my 20s...but I lost my career by my mid 30s.

I cleaned up my act and changed my life - it's nothing like it used to be - but it's a million times better

D

Threshold

We often put booze/partying in a separate category in my culture...like sacred ground or something. Some kind of litmus test...

When I was 19 I made a crazy decision that involved moving away from all my friends, giving up the wild life, etc etc.

I got married, starting living on the ultimate of shoe strings, and started having kids.

No dates, no partying, no weekends out. Nada. I don't regret a single second of it.

I know others who in their early 20's choose a study path or career path that takes them in a totally different direction than they were in. New location, friends, activities, responsibilities. My brother was blinded in an accident when he was 21. He had to learn to live without sight. He was a hard party guy. He went back to school, didn't lose all his old friends but he made many new ones, his life ended up very different than he intended, but he has actually said that losing his sight may have been one of the best things that every happened to him, because without that "push" he would have likely stayed in the same place, doing the same things,with just that same group of people.

Cutting back on booze, or cutting it out entirely is in the same category, we make a decision that alters the course of our life somewhat. Sure, it means leaving some things behind, but it opens up new doors, new directions and new relationships. It's a change, not a death sentence to fun, friends and a happy life.

Early 20's is a time when many people make huge changes, decisions and committments in their lives. Sounds like the perfect time to make a change about a relationship with alcohol, especially if the relationship looks like it's getting abusive.