kittyjo

Not sure if this right. Place but feel a bit down today yes I drank last night but no where as much as normal.
But today I feel rubbish I'm so lonely I keep crying . I know my ex bloke will text today wanting text sex and I give in as I have no self worth.
Feel like I've let everyone down
Will sound daft but let my dog down as I don't walk her

least

It doesn't sound daft at all. I let my dogs down when I was drinking cause they weren't getting my best care. Now that I'm sober they always see me at my best and get the best care I can give them.


You can do this!

to the family!

kittyjo

She my world but I do struggle to handle her I shouldn't have had her

Bubovski

Do you have a strong resolve not to drink and supportive friends?
Doing it alone is not to easy.
After many years of wavering I am finding myself with AA.
Things can change when we feel the need and find the resources
and its certainly most possible for you too..................

MyTimeNow

Aw hugs Kitty. Firstly avoid and ignore your ex at all costs. He is completely taking advantage of you at a low point and you deserve better. Much better.

Are there any dog training classes near you? Is she a pup? If so Vets4Pets have puppy parties where all the pups meet and learn to be with other dogs. If you could get out to a class of some sort not only will you feel better about caring for your dog, you'll also meet knew people and boost your self esteem You can do this.

MyTimeNow

*new people. More tea and wake up for me!

Dee74

you can make good choices today and start to turn things around Kittyjo...there's a ton of support here

D

kittyjo

I want to stop or at least be able to cut down .
Unfortunately I have no friends I have people I text and one person I chat on line with but he getting bored with me .

Raspberry

Sounds like you're in the right place Kitty - folk will never get bored of you here. I've had lots of 'first days' and they're not easy because the anxiety eats at you. All I can tell you is that if you can get past that first alcohol free day you will feel very proud and pleased with yourself and immediately start to see things more positively. Have you tried perhaps writing a list of all of the negative ways alcohol is effecting you? I wrote a list of the positives and negatives and needless to say the latter was endless. This has helped me through my first days so far. As for your ex well he's about as bad for you as the alcohol so write a list for him too!! Good luck and all is not lost, you can do this. Even a little goes a long way. )

Dee74

I was away for a bit Kitty - I just went and read your first post...sounds like alcohol and you have a pretty bad relationship...

do you think cutting back is realistic?

I'd consider cutting it out completely - doing that really will help you sort a lot of things out and see things a lot more clearly.

D

Threshold

kittyjo,

I strongly suggest you block your ex from texting you. Be proactive on your own behalf. Need someone to chat with...SR has a chat on it...look at the bar on the top of the page.

Your self esteem will only get lower if you continue this text thing with your ex. Hang out here and it's likely to get better because we will treat you with the respect you deserve...and help you stop drinking which really boosts the self esteem as well.

I know how hard lonely is ((((hugs))))) feeling a lot of it myself lately and it's not easy.

I find keeping the radio on, or listening to an audio book, having a voice around me often helps...sounds lame I know, but it's not self destructive.

kittyjo

He didn't tell text today. I guess deep down I love him as. He was my first kiss ext. I know towards the end he treated me bad but I didn't want to fail as stupidly I only ever wanted to h a 've slept with one man , I sound daft I know.

Threshold

You don't sound daft to me, you sound like a human who is hurting. Broken hearts hurt.

My husband of 25 yrs divorced me last year, and it was similar to you...I met him when I was 17 and he was the love of my life, and on top of that..I didn't want to be THAT woman...who failed in marriage, who's husband didn't want her, who was starting over in her 40's...the issues are multi level.

But still and all, drinking won't help a darned thing, it gets in the way of healing.

(((hugs))))

kittyjo

I never dated till my 30 he paid me attention and I fell in love. He said it first tho I wasn't that daft was the second time round.
My drinking contributed to it I know and if this man I get on with ever gets his bum in gear and asks me out I don't want drink to mess it up.
I'm just trying to cut down on it at the moment

Threshold

Most people here have found out that quitting entirely is actually easier than trying to drink moderately. I know nothing about your drinking history, but if you find yourself unable to stop at just one, you may find your experience to be the same.

I always told my kids, don't go where you don't want to be...if I don't want to get stupid, I don't drink at all.

Hevyn

Hi kittyJo. Sorry you're feeling down, but glad you wanted to talk about it. Sharing our feelings here helps ease the pain.

I'm really glad you joined us - it sounds like you're ready to make a big change in your life. We know you can do it. I wasn't quite ready when I first joined, but I found the courage to stop after I spent some time here. Better days are ahead.

Bruce292

It's the right place.

As for your dog, it's not daft at all. Dogs give you than "look" when they don't get their walk/mean/attention.

Keep posting here and I'll bet you won't feel so alone. There have been times where this site was the only thing that kept me from my antics.

Thank you for posting.

kittyjo

Hi
I did drink last night but didn't have a drink till 7pm . I'm to scared of the withdrawal symptoms if I stop immediately .

Not stopping exactly but starting to cut down.

As for drinking history ,never drank regularly till about 8 years ago it started as a bottle wine which I couldn't finish once a week.
Then some where I started to drink more and more. When I got bullied it increased the thought that when I got home the stress would stop and it did.
I'd get home and drink glass wine that had been left Sat all day.
I changed my job but the stress increased mainly as I got the impression I was. Rubbish at it.
But I need to cut down at least.
Feel awful this am as I was cruel to my ex last night but guess he deserved it. He tried it on and told To go do his ugly girl friend !

Newatthis34

Hi Kitty,

As others have said I don't think you are silly at all for not walking your dog. Manys the day when I was too hungover to walk my three, and it just emphasised to me that I needed to stop the madness of alcohol. In fact my dogs help me see that life can be very simple and easy if you let it be. They are happy with so little, just to be alive and running in the woods - they make me laugh for their sheer joi de vivre and it helps. They have taught and continue to teach me!

You're in a bad place now but it can get better. If you're worried about detox then maybe see a doc? Try not to engage with your ex. It's a cliche but true that it's not really possible to love another until you can love yourself. Give yourself time and see how you feel about him once you've had some time to work on yourself. Walk your dog and let her help you. Seriously, I believe passionately in dogs' therapeutic capacity.

aw58

Hi Kitty. you have had some great advise. You are worth so much more then a sex call or a bit on the side, this man knows you still have feelings and he is exploiting you, he is in another relationship , what a mean and nasty man he is to both of you. You would never be able to trust him if you had him back he is a player a cheat. Sex talk between a loving couple is fine but he's just using you.
Please go to the doctors and explain your drinking and let him be the judge, if you need to detox. How much are you on average drinking ? I too as many others have, thought we could cut down, drink on alternate days, only at weekends the list is endless its hard to imagine life without drink, but trust me its so much nicer and you will feel amazing , you will have so much energy you will be running around the park with the dog before you know it. why don't you give it a go, say a day then another day see how long you can go, remember drink is addictive so your mind will try and take over, be in control its your life not your ex not the wine but YOU and you are worth so much more ..