kittyjo,
I strongly suggest you block your ex from texting you. Be proactive on your own behalf. Need someone to chat with...SR has a chat on it...look at the bar on the top of the page.
Your self esteem will only get lower if you continue this text thing with your ex. Hang out here and it's likely to get better because we will treat you with the respect you deserve...and help you stop drinking which really boosts the self esteem as well.
I know how hard lonely is ((((hugs))))) feeling a lot of it myself lately and it's not easy.
I find keeping the radio on, or listening to an audio book, having a voice around me often helps...sounds lame I know, but it's not self destructive.