OnTheLinks

It's taken a long time to be round to doing this - admitting I've got a drinking issue. Some of the amazing stories on this site, and people just simply telling the truth has inspired me to be honest to this forum, and admit a load of stuff to myself too...

At the moment it's manageable, sort of... I probably get completely 'black out' drunk twice a week. Weekend or work night, it doesn't matter. Thing is I've started missing meetings in work because of it and once I get on Facebook when drunk I'll either a) abuse people for no reason or b) act inappropriately with the other sex on there. This part of it is really bad as its sometimes my friend's wives. That isn't me.

The other thing is the lies. Always lying about how much I've drank, hiding bottles, where I've been... I feel so natural lying now it almost feels like I'm telling the truth. It's so scary.

When I've tried to give up before I've always planned out how it's going to go, go the gym, eat healthy, lose weight etc... But then after a few days I feel great then the little voice goes, "c'mon have a few drinks tonight" then I feel a sort of euphoria and I'm straight down the off licence or bar for a drink... Then I won't stop drinking until I'm out for the count. Predictably I hate myself in the morning and vow to give up again. Then we go round the cycle again!!

Got a partner who likes a couple of glasses a wine a night but stops at two (its bloody annoying that she can do this!), and two kids who are amazing.

How do I stop doing this?

mecanix

Welcome OTL ,

I used to suffer from backouts and send random e-mails . When i drink i go way out of control .
The only way to deal with it, i found, was not drink at all . Life is just a lot better without planning my next drinking escapade or worrying about the last one .

Moderation just did'nt work for me as it was like doing half a job, i was all the more irritable because i was trying to control it .

In the end being heartily sick of the consequences of drinking helped me stay quit ,

Good luck , m

just1man

Welcome to SR. I am only on day 5 so I can't offer much advice, but after many failed attempts (by failed I mean 1 or two days, 5 days is borderline miracle) I can safely say that one thing is to not ever listen to that voice telling you that you are all better now, and now you can drink. Everything it says is a lie. The other thing is that you have to want it for you. I mean really want it, as in willing to do whatever it takes to get, and to stay, sober. Best of luck to ya. These folks are absolutely wonderful.

Nuudawn

Welcome. That's a really honest start. Nice. Just keep facing moments and situations sober. Just worry bout NOT drinking in the now..every now you happen upon : ) Clear you head..assess things sober. I will be a month tomorrow. I have found that each day is full of surprises in sobriety..most of them quite lovely. All the best OTL

Tyme2Change

Welcome, OTL! I'm not sure I can give you any great insight or advice, as I am just now going into day 16 of being sober. I think that the "how" you stop drinking is up to you. For me, it took medical intervention and counseling to get things going. All of the things you said were the same things I did, and it just clicked for me one day that I HAD to stop or I was going to die early. I have 2 amazing kids, too, and they are a big reason why I don't want to drink anymore.

Whatever you do, we are here to listen and support you!

awuh1

I quit drinking several hundred times before I broke down and went to AA. Finally that was the beginning of the end of my drinking. Now life is good, and I'm present for it. I hope you find a solution that works for you sooner than I did.

OnTheLinks

Thanks for the prompt replies, I feel better and more optimistic already. I think for me it will be taking things a day at a time and rewarding myself for a sober week with some clothes or something... Only on day one, so a long way to go!

This whole SR environment is massive, any good sections to have a browse over? Success stories, good books to help etc.

Thanks again guys!!

just1man

I haven't read them, but in a thread I was browsing yesterday someone asked about books and I wrote down some titles mentioned.


I would hate to give credit to the wrong person, but some awesome member gave those. As far as which sections? The stickies in the alcohol section, and of course the threads there, the stickies here in Newcomers to Recovery (one on books too), and if you want to get involved the Newcomer's Daily Support Threads seem like a place to talk. Oh, and Stories of Recovery right on the main page of the forums. I just read, read, read.. everything here.

OnTheLinks

Cheers mate ill download a couple of those books and start getting stuck into the forum itself as you suggest. Onwards and upwards! How are you getting on anyway?

Dee74

Welcome to the gang OnTheLinks

the 'class' of July is a good place to start too

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ly-2013-a.html

D

GracieLou

One day at a time is the key. I try not to look to the future to much, which can be hard sometimes. I do not let my past or my dream of the future define today.

The rewards I have gotten from being sober are more than anything I could buy myself.

When someone says something that clicks with me, that is a reward. I would have never seen it when I was drinking.

When I get support for a problem I am having, that is a reward. I would not have appreciated it when I was drinking.

When people tell me I look a lot better and that my smile and laughter is wonderful. That is my reward. I sure as hell did not get that when I was drinking.

When people tell me that I have come so far, they are proud of me and I am a good example of what the program does, if I work the program, that is my reward. I never had that before in my life. I would not have been grateful for all the people supporting me.

I am not saying that getting yourself a present is not a good idea but I try to look at the emotional rewards I get. They will stay with me everyday. These are the things I draw my strength from.