fhl41

Well its been a little over 4 months since I last had a drink. It feels like allot longer than that though for some reason. This has been the first time in my life that I have gone an extended amount of time without drinking alcohol since I was 13 or so. I don’t really think too much about drinking anymore which is truly unbelievable to me and that feels like a gift to me. I do have my bad moments though ie. when I am with a family member who is drinking a glass of wine but I generally try to avoid such situations. When that does happen though I will have thoughts like oh one glass won’t kill me, but then I think to myself, well what’s the point then. I know one drink won’t give me the buzz I want, so I will drink more, and then I will feel like crap tomorrow, I will have ruined all the work I have done on myself the last 4 months etc etc and then eventually the moment will pass. One great gift in not drinking is I am able to be truly present in all the moments I experience and that is really new and beautiful to me. Sure, there are moments where I don’t know what to do with the emotions I am feeling and I want to run and hide, but I just take a breath and remember that it is just a feeling and it will pass (I read that somewhere here). And yes, there are moments where I feel lonely because I know certain people don’t want to be around me anymore because I don’t drink but I try and remember that the important people do still want to be around me.

I have had to deal with allot of struggles in the past 4 months, my 13 year old son attempted suicide and was hospitalized and my good friend of 20 years passed away from cancer (within 2 months of diagnosis). And I managed to get through all of this without drinking, so bazaar now that I look back on it. The amazing thing about not drinking through this was it gave me the ability to be fully present (emotionally and physically) and not leave my son’s side for the week that he was in the hospital. I was there for him every moment and not once did I need to leave him to go drink or to go wallow in my own self pity. I was there for him 100 percent and we bonded in a way that I know would not have been possible had I still been drinking.

He is doing much better now.

miko67

Good for you x keep on keeping on :-)

fantail

Wow, thank you for sharing. You should be really proud of yourself for this. How wonderful and how important that you were able to be there with your son. Your support right now will be something that he always remembers.

I'm glad he's doing better.

Congratulations on four months

AlexaDaly

Wow! and everything you said is so completely true! Four months is awesome! I'm on day 12 and feeling great! Best wishes with your son. My son is 15. It's so hard to be a teenager in these days we live in now! I hope he's feeling better!

DylanS

Man, so sorry to hear about your son and losing your friend. I'm inspired by your story - staying (newly) sober through such tough stuff.

Big congrats on 4 months! 120 days, yeah!