Nicole92

I was with my ex for 5 years from the age of 16 up until 4 months ago when I decided enough was enough. We did everything together including taking drugs. 4 months ago I decided to become clean, with or without him, and he decided he wasn't going to join me so I left him. I decided I had to live for me and feared being around the past would just drag me back.

I haven't heard, seen nor spoke to him since we split up and last night he texted me telling me we need to talk and when I asked what he wanted he told me he needs to talk to me in person.

I still love him, of course I do, but my head is telling me not to go. I don't want to put my recovery at risk but maybe I should go to see what he wants..

laurie6781

Since you are fairly new to living life clean and sober it might be best if you take another clean and sober friend with you.

He is either going to ask you for help (to draw you back in) on how he can get clean and sober, or he wants to tell you how much he loves you (again to draw you back in) blah blah blah

This is why to me it would be best to take someone with you when you go. Or you can just text him back and say simply you are not comfortable at this time in seeing him face to face.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

Mountainmanbob

atalose

I think I would base your decision on the strength of your own recovery. It’s great you stopped using drugs 4 months ago and you don’t mention how you stopped or what kind of a program you are using to help you but if you know your heart is already saying something different then your head…it may not be a good time right now to meet him.

The last thing you want is your heart caving and you ending up right back to square one.

If what he has to say is really that important he will speak to you over the phone other wise he’s looking to play on your heartstrings.

Kindeyes

First, congrats on choosing to seek recovery and live a sober lifestyle. It takes courage to change.

As far as meeting with him, it is entirely your decision. Recognizing that words in person may be much more powerful......only you can decide whether you want to participate. You will be able to see his expressions.....he will be able to touch you......those are powerful tools if he chooses to use them.

You don't need to decide right away. You can sit with it and pray about it (if prayer is a part of your recovery) and see how it feels to you. There is no right or wrong answer that can be provided by others.

Trust your gut and take care of you.

gentle hugs
ke

laurie6781

Kindeyes just listed a link on "How To Start A Naranon Meeting":

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...non-group.html

There you go ..............................................

As a side note many of the AA meetings I attend and the Alanon meetings I attend end with The Serenity Prayer rather than the Lord's Prayer.

Love and hugs,

lizwig

Good for you on your recovery! Way to go!! You'll NEVER regret that decision! In regards to your x-boyfriend....I don't see a problem with returning the text with a statement..."if you want to talk to tell me you are seeking recovery then I would be happy to meet with you in a public place. If you want to talk to me to tell me you love and miss me, but still aren't ready to change, then I will have to decline your request". You may get a gauge on where he is mentally by this. If he is ready to seek positive change he'll still want to talk with you....if he's still in active addiction this would likely send him through the roof because you aren't falling for the maniuplation. Just a thought. I'm really proud of you for recognizing this situation needs a flashing caution light! See....it works if you work it!