Kayla50

I cannot stay sober. I had promised my sister I would not drink during her wedding weekend and I did and of course they could all tell. This morning my parents came into my hotel room I said I was no longer in the wedding. I was supposed to be maid of honor. My only sister is getting married and can't go. I hate myself. I don't think they will forgive me for this. I am sooo heartbroken.

escapist

Oh please don't hate yourself. That never works. In fact, it will just make you want to drink.
All of us can stay sober. We were born that way.

You just need some support.

Mizzuno

Hello Kayla.
There may be more responses to your post if you start a thread just for you.
I am sorry that you are going through this right now. Please know that you can get sober, and stay sober. You have come to the right place for support.

Hevyn

Kayla yes you can do it. I drank all my life and I finally did it. You can stop it from ruining your life from now on. Please don't give up on yourself.

Anna

Kayla, I moved your post into a thread of its own.

I can only imagine how sad you must feel at this point. Please take care of yourself and I hope you continue to post.

Hevyn

This can be a turning point, Kayla. It never has to happen again. You can have a whole new life where alcohol doesn't run the show. Please forgive yourself and work on a plan to get sober.

Mizzuno

Kayla.
So many of us have made decisions in our life that we are not proud of. I understand how bad you feel. Are you able to go to the wedding at all?

Kayla50

No. They drove me home. I don't get to see her get married.

Kayla50

I don't know if will come home and kick me out tonight. I don't have anywhere to go.

Hollyanne

Can you tell us a bit about yourself?
What age are you?
What affect has your drinking had on you and your family's life?
Why so harsh on you?

Anna

Kayla, if you have nowhere to go, can you find a friend or relative to stay with for a few days? Is it your parents who might put you out?

Kayla50

I don't have any friends. And I'm scared to move into an apartment because I don't trust myself. I have major depression and anxiety. I'm pretty sure this was the last straw. I'm 34 and a dental assistant but I've only been there 6 months otherwise I would consider treatment again. I cannot deal with this

Kayla50

I am so scared!

Anna

Kayla, have you talked to your dr about your anxiety and depression? It's possible that some medication could help you with that.

Hollyanne

Did you always live with your parents?
Maybe you would be better in a room mate situation.
Family are not always the best people to help us.
If you don't drink tonight, can you just go to the wedding ceremony and head off then?

Kayla50

Yes, she is trying new meds on me. I can't find my pills to take when I have a panic attack!!! It is so hard not to go buy some vodka right now. I was just at a meeting a couple of hours ago!! I don't to lose my family

Kayla50

My mom actually screamed at me to leave. I am not allowed back there. My dad drove me home (almost 2 hours) and then left and drove back to the wedding.

Kayla50

I moved home after my divorce because my drinking was sooo bad. Then I got here and started getting in trouble with suicide attemps, mental wards, hospitals and jail. I have no hope of ever getting better.

Dee74

Try not to panic Kayla. They're mad right now, and I reckon probably a little scared and overwhelmed too.

It may not be the best response but it what it is.

You can make this a turning point
What have you been doing for your recovery so far?

D

Anna

Kayla, there is always hope, always.

You must not give up. Talk to your dr, keep your medication in a place where you can find it, don't drink anymore today and try to get through this.