Day 6 - One Day at a Time
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 103
Day 6 - One Day at a Time
I did 100 day sobriety two years ago and I felt amazing.
I stupidly thought, if I can abstain for 100 days, I can 'moderate' my drinking. Test completed with one glass of wine and that was it for the night - however I still wanted more. So much that I opened the minibar to 'look' at options - but I didn't do it then. The spiral happened within a few months after this episode, progressively I might add because it tricks you to think you are in control. So, two years later - I was drinking an obscene amount of alcohol where I was barely feeling one bottle of wine a night that I had to supplement with whisky/cognac just so I could sleep. My point is, that it got out of control again and here I am, again, at Day 6.
I realized that I just can't moderate my drinking. I wish I could. I wish I could enjoy one glass of wine and drink like normal people. I know that it will never be the case. All I keep telling myself is, Im not going to drink today. I can be strong enough today.
Im kind of sequestered these days and interestingly enough, I have no cravings whatsoever for alcohol. The symptoms of withdraw are different now.I dont have an appetite and Im very tired as I have crazy insomnia, easily irritable, etc. - but its amazing that after only a week, I look younger, feel better - even though Im fatigued from lack of sleep I really look like someone shaved a few years off my face.
I was telling my friend that when I think of it, the negatives of drinking far outweigh the positives of drinking. For me - its a crutch, a sexy old lover beckoning me back with sweet tasting 'words', but the pain and heartache of it will always be there, so why would I put myself through it again?
Yes, best to say no and put it in the past. Very, very hard to do. But I know I can do it - one day at a time.
I stupidly thought, if I can abstain for 100 days, I can 'moderate' my drinking. Test completed with one glass of wine and that was it for the night - however I still wanted more. So much that I opened the minibar to 'look' at options - but I didn't do it then. The spiral happened within a few months after this episode, progressively I might add because it tricks you to think you are in control. So, two years later - I was drinking an obscene amount of alcohol where I was barely feeling one bottle of wine a night that I had to supplement with whisky/cognac just so I could sleep. My point is, that it got out of control again and here I am, again, at Day 6.
I realized that I just can't moderate my drinking. I wish I could. I wish I could enjoy one glass of wine and drink like normal people. I know that it will never be the case. All I keep telling myself is, Im not going to drink today. I can be strong enough today.
Im kind of sequestered these days and interestingly enough, I have no cravings whatsoever for alcohol. The symptoms of withdraw are different now.I dont have an appetite and Im very tired as I have crazy insomnia, easily irritable, etc. - but its amazing that after only a week, I look younger, feel better - even though Im fatigued from lack of sleep I really look like someone shaved a few years off my face.
I was telling my friend that when I think of it, the negatives of drinking far outweigh the positives of drinking. For me - its a crutch, a sexy old lover beckoning me back with sweet tasting 'words', but the pain and heartache of it will always be there, so why would I put myself through it again?
Yes, best to say no and put it in the past. Very, very hard to do. But I know I can do it - one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 34
I am on day 6 for the first time. So far so good. It is not the present I worry about. It IS a month, 6 months, a year from now. The agony is so fresh in my mind it gives me strength to say no right now. I know with time that will fade and I will forget how miserable my life was. Thanks so much for sharing, I will try to hold on to your story for when that time comes. Hope we soar together. Looking forward to one week!!!!
and congrats on your first six days sober! I'm glad you joined the family! 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: canada
Posts: 44
Congrats on 100 days before and 6 days this time. I have a 6 week win under my belt, and on 1 week this round.
Desire disappeared before. And like you I figured "well now I will moderate"
One bad hangover and anxiety filled week later I realized i needed to severe all ties with this crappy relationship for a while.
Good luck with your sobriety. This sure is a great place for support.
I'm sure you'll be up to that triple digit date with the right drive, and the memory of how great it felt fresh in your mind
Desire disappeared before. And like you I figured "well now I will moderate"
One bad hangover and anxiety filled week later I realized i needed to severe all ties with this crappy relationship for a while.
Good luck with your sobriety. This sure is a great place for support.
I'm sure you'll be up to that triple digit date with the right drive, and the memory of how great it felt fresh in your mind
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 103
I will tell Bobby that for those 100 days sober I never felt better in my life. I really did. I am looking forward to start working out again and taking back control of my life. I need to start working out - that is for certain. i used to be quite an athlete so its time to get back to it. Its a hard road to stop but the right one for me. Just trying to do it one day at a time and not think too much about it - i have to say reading what everyone else has written has helped tremendously. Thank you everyone.
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