SoberHappyHour

I'd come to the conclusion recently that if I was going to make my sobriety last forever that I have to accept that my nightlife was pretty much over. The days of going to parties, clubs, bars, etc. would become almost nonexistent. I just basically have come to accept that most of the new hobbies or old hobbies I'm enjoying once again usually happen earlier in the day. But last night I was headed to the gym around 11pm and there were soooo many cars on the road. I was just thinking about how all these people have things to do on a Saturday night. Meanwhile, here I am, only 26 years old and just going to the gym because of my inability to drink normally. It was kind of depressing for me. Just wanted to share. Thank you for reading.

LadyinBC

One of my good friends has been sober for 26 years now. He quit when he was 23. Give yourself time and you won't believe how freeing it really is.

SoberHappyHour

Thank you. I do love sobriety already, just would love to be able to still be out doing things during the times that most people my age are out as well.

DG0409

Here's the thing about drinking at night. You get two choices:

A. Making an a$$hat of yourself in public. Drive home drunk. Probably get a DWI if you keep this up... then another. Maybe go to jail or kill somebody driving home sometime.

B. Drink at home alone. Slowly lose all your friends. Have no social life and never go out.

All those people out on the road are either:

A. Driving drunk and risking your life and theirs, too. OR

B. Driving sober and going to do something other than drinking. Many people have night jobs. Some people play video games or do social events without drinking. Or go to the gym so they wake up in BETTER health rather than in WORSE health.

I think everyone here has given up going to bars or drinking parties. And you know, after a while, you discover that there are better things in life than getting smashed with a bunch of dumb drunks. (And yeah I do think, everybody is dumb once they're drunk.)

Most of the clubs and bars if you show up sober, you realize what a room full of losers are there. The food sucks and the music isn't that great.

DG0409

I find not drinking at night to be so FREEING because I can drive anywhere I want, do anything I want. Before all I did was drink. If I wanted to drive someplace I either was risking my license, jail, etc. or I simply had to stay put. That sucked!

2granddaughters

Imagine how many people with diabetes envy you eating that chocolate donut.

Like the old saying "I felt bad that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet".

What program of recovery are you working? Without gratitude we are sunk. And gratitude doesn't come easy to most alcoholics.

All the best.

Bob R

soberclover

Perhaps there is a whole lot you might have been missing out on because you haven't yet been exposed to. There are a ton of young people who do not like to hang out in the places you were during your active drinking because they don't drink or didn't want to waste tons of time drinking. You will find these places once you figure out the networking systems available around you. Pretend you are new in town and don't know anything about the social scene and you aren't interested in the bar scene...who would you ask?

Zebra1275

But last night I was headed to the gym around 11pm and there were soooo many cars on the road. I was just thinking about how all these people have things to do on a Saturday night.

What I realized once I got out of my alcohol induced fog was how many of these people are doing things on a Saturday night, and there is NO alcohol involved.

I mistakenly thought everybody in the world drank to excess on Saturday night.

MIRecovery

One of the aspects of AA that I really like is the social aspect. You meet a ton of super cool people who do not drink. Alcoholics for the most part are really fun people it is just the ones I hang around with are sober

hypochondriac

So what's wrong with this? You basically just socialise earlier now.

And it isn't true that your nightlife is over. If you're early in sobriety it's a good idea to avoid activities that are just going to remind you of drinking. But given a bit of solid sobriety behind you you may find that your night life can still be pretty active.

I found that I could do things that I didn't really enjoy before because they interfered with my drinking, like going to the theatre or going to a concert. I still go to clubs but I go earlier for the entertainment whereas before I would be at home pre drinking. I go to bars and pubs still too, but there has been a vital change which took me a while to get. I only go now when it is a genuine social occasion which I will enjoy and not just about 'going for a drink'. I found it depressing when I went out and didn't enjoy myself because I thought I would never enjoy social occasions again now I am sober (ever the drama queen). But the times I didn't enjoy myself was because I wasn't enjoying myself. It had nothing to do with alcohol. I have quite a few nights out which have been really fun, totally sober, but the difference has been I have been with people whose company I enjoyed or have been at a fun event. I am surprised how much I tolerated just because I was drunk. My friends have changed somewhat too because some of them, I'm afraid, are dullards.

It takes time to figure all this stuff out but I am sure that in time you will be happy doing lots of things sober and will realise that you're not missing out on anything

hayley86

Im 27 and can relate to what your saying about it being abit depressing, when I was drinking I would always want to be out and if I wasn't I would feel like everyone else was out having this amazing, great time whilst I was at home and I would feel like I was missing out. Now im into my sobriety more I realise that everyone really isn't doing this at all, there are a lot of people who stay home or socialise with friends on a weekend and do lots of things that arnt anything to do with drinking, it was the big myth for me when I was a drinker that everyone else was going somewhere with something exciting to do every night. Im finding it so enjoyable to just be "normal" I also feel that I have well and truly been there done that with the bar or club scene and now im onto a new chapter. I think it will get easier.

rAAt

Don't give up - one foot in front of the other just for today before your - "rocketed into a forth dimention of existance of which we had not even dreamed.' BB p25 And what ride that is!

Mizzuno

A lot of people can be out and about at night without it being that they are heading to a club, or bar what have you. There is so much life to live without alcohol. All the partying that I did in my twenties was really a set up for a huge fall in my early thirties. I am 33. I will take an early night with a movie, popcorn and some SR over a hangover and lack of memory. I do understand what you are saying and can empathize. I just think that things are not what they seem especially now when I look back at all the wasted partying times. Hang in there give it time. We are here for you.

deeker

Get involved in AA or NA. We have a planned activitie every month. But also go out for coffee, amusement parks, bonfire meetings, concerts in the park.

If you want to find people who are doing fun things and doing them clean and sober. You will find them at meetings.

We have tons of fun!

Dee74

There's absolutely no need to be a hermit, or in bed by 9pm.

Like others have said, there are millions of people out there not drinking, and doing things that have absolutely no connection with alcohol.


It''s early days - you're thinking that is it. Its not. Life goes on.
We keep growing and changing.

You just need to expand your mental borders a little and free your mind from the idea that nightlife equal booze SHH - it doesn't

D

Hollyanne

I went to a bar last night.
I went with a real old friend who knows I don't drink.
She isn't drinking either at the moment because she has allergies.
We had a lovely evening.
I was driving home and saw all the people in the street outside clubs etc.
There were girls wearing what appeared to be neon tubes in all different colours and 8 inch heels staggering around the streets. Walking like newborn calves.
There were young people vomiting on the street before having more "fun".
And, the highlight was the 6-7 girls in neon boob tubes rolling around on the ground in the middle of the street with the shoes flying! No worries, just having the "laugh".
Ah, yes, what fun they were having. I gave them that lovely warm smile that one gives to the mentally challenged as I gently drove by.
Lovely, just lovely.

By the way, that was my first time "out" for about 2 years.

SoberHappyHour

Ha thanks for the laugh. You make a good point.

Many of you made great points and suggestions. I don't care to drink anymore but I just feel like there's lack of activities to do late at night for someone who's sober to enjoy. I have done some thinking tho and I think I can come up with some things to do. I do need to attend more aa meetings tho than I have been in order to make friends with more sober people. Thank you all.