tired28

So its my first day of trying to turn things around yet aqgain. Im 28 years old and have spent nearly half my life as an alcoholic. I've done the outpatient thing but its never stuck. Im a single mother of 2 beautiful kids and want so bad to give them the best life possible which I know I will be unable to do if I keep drinking. Im really hoping by joining I at least might have a place to voice my feelings and gain support, since ive heard the more times u try the closer u might be to actually recovering.

Dee74

Welcome to SR

I think the key is alos in making changes too - changes to your lifestyle, changes in dealing with things - finding other ways to deal with stuff besides drinking etc

a good plan is invaluable

You'll find a lot of support here

D
D

SNST

Tired, you have came to the right place

sunshinescooby

welcome tired28.. This is a great place.. day 5 for me.. I have tried before and succeeded not drinking for a number of days, but there is no way I can do it without support like this..

You're only 28 so you have LOTS of days ahead.. Just take it a day at a time. There have been times these last few days when I've had to take it down to getting through the next hour..

Hang in there.. Lot's of hope and support on here.. Are you in the class of june? That's a great place for all us newly sober..

FeelingGreat

Hi Tired, welcome to SR, you have the best reason of all for giving up. It sometimes takes a few goes before people stop so please don't give up.
Have there been any set of factors that have caused you to relapse in the past?

Hevyn

Welcome tired! Great to have you here with us.

I tried many times to quit, but after I found SR I was finally able to do it. I think not feeling alone made a huge difference for me. I never dreamed there'd be so many people to understand what I went through. This is a good place for hope and support. You can do it, tired - and get free!

hayley86

Hi, im 27 years old and I managed to get sober, I am now 8 and a half months sober. Put your mind to it and don't give in, you will be amazed at the strength you have if you persevere and take it one day at a time, once you get through the initial stages and the fog starts to lift it gets easier, you have made the first step by joining here, there are tons of people on this forum who will understand everything you tell them I don't think anything you could say would shock them, talk to people everyone will listen and will want to help. Do you have a plan to get sober? All the best

soberclover

It WILL work if you want it to bad enough. The reality is that the solution really is easy. You have to commit to not picking up a drink....no matter what. I learned that in order for me to do this I ALSO have to be willing to do whatever I need to do in order to not pick up that drink...no matter what. For me that means going to a meeting, talking with my therapist, staying home when I really want to go out, and NOT associating with people, places, and things that would trigger me to drink.

2granddaughters

Not quite sure what you mean by "I've done the outpatient thing but its never stuck" ?? ..... Are you looking for a "cure" ??

The only treatment I've found that addresses my alcoholism is commitment to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Have you attended AA meetings?

All the best.

Bob R

tired28

There have been many factors but my lack of will power seems to be the main one. I hate being alone at home and being around people actually makes my feel like everythings ok and ive got things under control, this is a problem since everyone I know including everyone in my entire family (both sides) and all of my friends also struggle with alcohol. Im not even exaggerating either. It seems absolutely impossible unless I am to cut off everyone I know. I've spoke to my mom and told her I wanted to go to inpatient treatment but I am unable since I will have no one to raise my kids,I feel like ive given up my whole life to raise my children. I went to college and graduated with honors but am unable to get a job in my field due to childcare issues. I cant date or meet anyone special because im always stuck at home , and to be honest im so miserable with myself I don't feel I have anything to give anymore. I truly am tired and I feel like the only time im not overcome with stress is when im drinking. I hate this life and actually look forward to dying im not scared at all, except for the fact I worry about my kids but sometimes I think they would be better off with-out me anyway. I wil probably screw them up so much that they will turn out like me and that is my biggest fear for them.

tired28

wooowwww good point Bob. Actually I guess I am looking for a cure...Ive never thought of it like that before. But what I meant was I was in a program in my area where we met once a week for an hour and I met with a counsellor once a month and I said to myself how is this suppose to help? Maybe I haven't commited as much as I could've of. I just keep thinking I can do this and hold everything together, I tell myself oh u only drink twice a week, u hold down your job ok, u don't drink in the morning, Your bills are always paid. Im fine Im fine! but im not fine and I know my sick brain is just making excuses for myself so I don't have to take responsibility for my drinking...I get it ;( I seriously think I need to go back to AA, Ive gone for a couple weeks here and there and I will go back I just never wanted to have to bring my kids to meetings but I think I may have too. Thanks for your comment though Bob

tired28

This is my plan for now and to go back to AA this week I will bring my kids to the meetings if I have too. I find this really helpful being able to say how I really feel. I don't share things too much in real life because im scared of judgment but being able to hide behind my screen really helps I think. BTW congratulations....that's awesome to hear...I could only dream of being sober 8 months. but I know how great u ust be feeling...my pregnancies where the best times in my life and I know it was because I was sober. I will try to stick with this ur inspiring

sunshinescooby

Hi Tired.. Yes, please do go back to AA.. do anything you can to not pick up the next drink... That's all you have to be concerned with.. Just don't pick up the next drink today.. Like everyone says.. you can always drink tomorrow.. just don't drink today!

2granddaughters

You've been to AA in the past.

Might just be time to sit next to one of the oldtimers in your local group and ask her just how this program works .. ask her to help you "get it".

She will.

All the best.

Bob R

sunshinescooby

also, when I really want to cave in, I go to the sobriety calculator from aa.. I don't want to have to start it over again..

5 days 13 hours 55 minutes sober.. in 5 more minutes I'll have 5 days 14 hours.. I have been thinking about Saturday night all day and how I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to have some red wine with my steak.. but after looking at that calculator.. NO WAY.. I'm not starting it over.. at least not today.. Maybe tomorrow.. but not today.

Soberpotamus

Welcome to SR

Here are some things I do and recommend: read lots of books on addiction, educate yourself; consider an outpatient group if you can... I did an IOP for 20 days and it was the best thing I've ever done for my sobriety; individual therapy with a counselor who has experience in addictions; AA, SMART Recovery, Women For Sobriety... I've done and continue to do all these types of meetings... they've all got their strengths/weaknesses... but they've all added something to my sobriety, I try to see what works in each of them (work the Steps with a sponsor in AA); exercise daily for at least 30 minutes... helps with anxiety!; nutrition/vitamins... Google what you may be deficient in due to heavy drinking... there's a book called Seven Weeks To Sobriety that has a great vitamin regimen that I loosely follow; and get a relapse prevention plan in place... check out Staying Sober by Terence Gorski, awesome info!!

Consider recovery your #1 priority if you want to make it stick.