Lifebeginsat41

Today I have had several conversations with myself.

Nothing major as regards cravings, but having been open with 3 friends (as well as hubby) 2 of them have tried to convince me I don't have a problem (one is teetotal so doesn't come under the 'drinking buddies' heading). Whilst calmly telling them that even if they were right, it was still right for me to stop (better to do that than not do that) the little voice inside my head thought it would be fun to tell me that perhaps they were right... And i didnt have a problem... I tried a 'good talking too' and that just made it sulk and try harder - so I tried the opposite. I laughed at it, and said that I wasn't giving up drinking - instead I was gaining self respect, fun with my family, a good nights sleep, clear skin, more focus on my career and the more i focused on what i was gaining the more it made me smile. I don't think I've ever smiled before about not having a drink before.

So even though it's only day 4, and I'm sure there will be some huge hills to climb on this journey I'm feeling not only strong - but happy.

In the past I've gone a day and practically cried until I could get a drink so never thought I could feel this happy.

Just wanted to share - sorry to ramble on

hypochondriac

That's ace. Well done on tackling those thoughts. I posted something similar after I had been honest with my family. They too tried to convince me I didn't have a problem, or at least refused to believe me. I think that's a common response really from friends and family. Well done on day 4 x

happybeingme

Sounds wonderful. Good for you. Life will always be up and down but sober the downs are never quite as low and the ups are higher and longer.

Nuudawn

No apologies necessary Lifebegins..good post. I celebrated my first week sober yesterday and you know I too feel good..and happy. I don't feel deprived. I don't feel like I'm losing anything..nope, quite the opposite. In fact, it concerns me that I feel this good. Is this some sort of "quit high" that will pass and then monster cravings will overwhelm me. Will that little voice start begging me to have that one glass of wine with dinner..the one I so missed before?
There are times I can have just a couple..but more times than not I just want to get that deep buzz where I care bout nothing but that.
One simply isn't enough...these early days of sobriety..I know that..but will I forget?

Lifebeginsat41

Thank you Hypochondriac and Happybringme

It's funny how those who are meant to know us so well deny who we are. One friend who has really supported me (she went out and bought a bottle of juice for us to toast my sobriety with) actually has a drink problem but isn't ready to do anything about it yet. I'm hoping to be her inspiration.

juststopit

I wonder sometimes if my "non-drinking buddy" friends don't believe I have a problem because if they did they would feel like they should do something about it. I have one friend in particular who had a really hard time understanding why I thought I had an alcohol problem. She is what I would call a "normal" drinker. She has seen me drinking to excess many times and when I told her I was no longer going to drink she acted very surprised that I thought I had a problem. Later I wondered if this was because she felt guilty that I had this problem and she didn't see it, didn't try to help, sat there and watched me drink and even giggled a little while she watched me act outrageously. I dunno, just a thought.

Nuudawn

I've had a friend for almost 30 years who NEVER has more than one or two. And for some weird reason she has been my worst nag when I quit drinking (there are been many unsuccessful attempts in the last 3 decades). We actually have a little gaggle of gals that have known each other since highschool. Of the 5 of us, she's the only one who doesn't have a problem with alcohol. She's the one who drives us home and takes care of us and stays in control. I've never been able to figure out what makes her so uncomfortable with me when I don't drink. She has actually asked me before in previous bouts of sobriety "when are you going to drink again? you're no fun anymore?".

Whatever it is..it's about HER..not me. She is not comfortable with anyone changing..perhaps it threatens her identity..no clue.

Lifebeginsat41

Nudawn I also get a little bit suspicious that it is a 'quit high' - but that's why a forum like this will help. I've found a lot of support just from reading other's experiences.

I guess we all have to identify that we need to do what is right for us.