Pedro1234

Hi Everyone
I am just wondering what peoples thoughts are on keeping count of days, weeks months, years etc since they gave up drinking? Do you think it is healthy? Does it distract from the real issues we should be dealing with as recovering addicts? Does it become a numbers game that when we reach our personal best we lose some desire to keep going?
On the other hand after a relapse is it a distraction to start again as the previous personal best number was so hard to get to or seems so far away?
I just wonder if i should be starting to maybe forget counting and just get on with my new life?
I realize that we all enjoy a good pat on the back and need encouragement along our path to recovery and i am one person that has lapped it up during my time here but i just wonder what everyone's thoughts are about this?

1newcreation

Was up Pedro?
After 6 mths, I just started doing mths coz the whole counting days will drive you nuts when you have to consider some mths r 30 others 31 & 1 has 28...if you have a smart phone it will keep it up to date
Nice to hear from you!

miyako

Here's the problem for me: I am only 5 months' sober and still frequently tempted to drink. I long ago exceeded my "personal best" record and have only been adding to it. The number of days/months sober helps me when I just want to drink and I am visualizing going to the liquor store (like tonight) and getting some wine or vodka. JUST a couple drinks ... can't hurt. But then I think I've been stone sober for over FIVE months and I don't want to blow my record for one momentary bad night ... and I think of other things I can do to cope with the feeling. There are some days/nights when I don't think about drinking too, but they are not so frequent that I can just stop counting altogether. I feel like I am still on a journey towards complete sobriety. Complete sobriety will come for me when I don't get those temptations -- or get them very infrequently -- and when avoiding alcohol becomes second nature to me and I don't have to think about it.

As far as relapsing goes, I don't want to relapse, ever again. Maybe that's too ambitious, I don't know. But I have a friend who's made relapsing -- setting goals, then blowing them, then "forgiving" himself and setting new goals which he then also blows -- a way of life. I don't want to have an ambivalent relationship with alcohol. My mantra lately is Control. I want to be in Control of my life and make choices that are right for me. Choice Number One is that I am not going to drink. Period. And if counting every bloody second of sobriety is what helps me to get there, I'm counting. Count me IN. The idea of failing on myself NOW is just too terrible to contemplate. I've worked so HARD to get to this point ....

MythOfSisyphus

I know roughly how long I've been sober but I don't dwell on it. To me, 1 day or 1 decade, it doesn't matter. Now I just don't drink. I'm not particularly worried about relapsing, either. If I ever drink again it won't be because I think I can drink "just a little"- I know better than that. No, I go back to drinking it will be because something has happened that makes me no longer care if I live or die.

SereneEdition

Hi Pedro -

One way to think of 'counting days' is as a helpful sobriety tool that measures 'progress' on a scale that ties well into actions, IE living '1 day at a time'.

Following that line of thought, as you outgrow the value of 'counting days' for you personally, perhaps you may benefit from reflecting on:

1. What would be a measure of your progress that support your continued growth now?
2. What scale/interval would support growth behaviors?

Hope that helps!

stevie88

I like counting the days....Day 174 for me today Yayyyyyy....

hypochondriac

Have you read the AVRT view on counting days? I kind of subscribed to that early on and posts from people saying they had 30 days etc.. were infuriating to me because I either felt like I wouldn't make it that long or I couldn't imagine being sober for that long. After a while though and especially when I started to reach those milestones they were a huge sense of pride for me. Not because I was white knuckling it and was happy I lasted that long but that I had done something I thought was impossible. I counted days til 2 weeks then after that I counted months, then 1 whole year, now I am back on counting months again (15 ) I am not very focussed on how long I have been sober these days but it is nice to think of every now and then as it is so easy to take our sobriety for granted.

GracieLou

Congrats Steve!

For me I live one day at a time. I don't count days ahead or I try real hard not to. It is not a race for me and I don't have a personal best goal.

For me it is a new way of life. This is not something I am going to do for awhile and then stop like a seasonal hobby or one that I have become bored with.

That being said it is nice to acknowledge the work/days put in to get to where we are at. 65 days for me

I can see in the case of a relapse where it can be discouraging but I have heard even though we start the count over that those days still count in a big way.They show willingness and for many they can not unsee or unfeel what they have had before while sober. It is one of the things that brings them back.

In my meeting last night there were three people that had relapsed and were back in the program. There was also a new person that introduced herself last and I would like to think that the people that admitted to their relapse, and had come back, gave her the strength to speak up for maybe the first time.

light13

I see your point, Pedro. I don't want not drinking to become the main focus of my days. I want living the life I didn't live while drinking to become the focus of my days. Still, I don't want to forget how important it is that I don't drink. I think I'm leaning towards not counting and making the decision not to drink in the present moment. It's more doable that way.

instant

I loved counting days, gave me a central focus. In time it turned to being aware everytime the 15th comes around. Now i don't do it, but May 15th will always be my new birthday.

FBL

I found it helpful to count the days as it gave me a real sense of accomplishment. After awhile I just kind of stopped, but I'll always remember my sober birthday (June 22). It's the day I decided to quit trying to slowly kill myself and start living again.

Marcher13

Although I don't count the days anymore I do celebrate the milestones. Like Instant I remember the date (March 9th), and my next milestone is 100 days.

visch1

Hi. I never remember my anniversary dates over the years and only just now figured I have over 12K days "sober" ONE day at a time. I/we only have to be concerned about today. If it's a goal or something else, fine. If it works don't fix it. BE WELL.

Bruce292

For me, thinking about the number of days happens less often. First I counted the hours, then the days, currently the weeks, hopefully, in the future, the months and years. I quit smoking on 2/92 and the same pattern emerged. Now, it's just a date and I rarely do the math.

GroundhogDay

I'm counting days right now because I am early in my recovery, but I suspect that I will stop at some point. I put my sobriety date in my signature line since I know that I am likely to forget it over time. What I think is most important is to not forget that I cannot control my drinking. I don't want for a high day count to lead to complacency.

Weasel1966

The great part about this is there is no right or wrong.

I measure in multiple ways. I look to see that I have changed habits that supported drinking. Something a simple day count cannot tell me. I can count ten nail biters or I can say wow. I have not done that in a while. Lets keep that going.

Go with your heart. What ever nurtures your journey is what the right thing to do is.

doggonecarl

I think it's a personal thing. However, I find it interesting that almost everyone here can recall how long they've been drinking. For instance, Pedro, this is from your first post:

"I am 45 years of age and started drinking at the age of 14."

If you are able to track your drinking, I'd think you'd want to be able to track how long you've been sober.

Blessed to be sober since Sept. 4, 2010.

Kys

Great thread Pedro.

I'm still addicted to alcohol, think I need to make that clear before I go on.

Personally I've applied all kinds of measures, days counting being a huge contributor to my success, definitely!

I tend to have an obsessive nature however, and so I take it one day/sleep at a time right now, that's all I can do. I've been measuring days sober/not sober for a while now, I still have troubles however.

One day at a time. I don't know what other lens to look at it with, personally. That's all I can do, right now.

Threshold

I think the counting of days is totally neutral.

For some people it serves as a personal encouragement.

For others it's counterproductive, keeping them tied to their past using and drinking.

Do what supports YOUR recovery.

I don't count days myself but I genuinely congratulate others when they share how many days they have!

SnwFlower

Hi Pedro. Great question. Counting days has really helped me stay focused on my goal. I literally write it out on my calendar every single day, "Day #--- of no alcohol!." I'm just at 4 months of sobriety, but I know for certain for the way my brain works, that I need to set goals and keep track. Eventually I'll probably stop counting and just remember my sobriety date.