What a great idea.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: mass
Posts: 1,356
What a great idea.
I am a smoker have been for about 15 yrs. I am about at a pack a day. I promised my daughter I would quit at the end of the month. Think its national smoke out or something. I do want to quit. I am sick of the taste. I can actually taste the chemicals they use in them. I fear gaining even more weight. I have gained 100lbs from surgery and recovery as it is. Any more would just be sick. I have myself to blame I dont have to eat the cheesecake. LOL. I am I guess nervous. What should I expect? I need to know what the first week has in store for me. I mean i've never went with out even in the hospitol I snuck smokes in the bathroom even on oxygen dangerous yes I know but I am a smoker, I am a addict, and I want to quit. Having said all this does anyone have advice to over come this one last addiction well the food we have to work on the food but one thing at a time. I am proud I quit heroin and drinking havent done that in years either. It this smoking thing I want to lick next. Any help? Anyone with advice would be great.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: mass
Posts: 1,356
I feel like a hypocryt I lit up as I was writing sooooo sad. I am reading through the posts and smoking I am sick. Oh lord give me the strength to get it out of my life as I did drugs and abusive relations ships. Yup was addicted to those to. I am just a very addictive person. I just wanted to rat on myself for smoking in a quit smoking forum the shame I feel. I did put it out however I just felt sick doing it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
I think formulating a plan like SWC did is probably the best way to approach it. Nicotine is a wiley beast. I am grateful to be unsmoking. But I am a long way away I think from being a non smoker.
Like all things that harmed us, we give them up one day at a time.
Thanks for sharing bubbles. Nothing hypocrite in sharing honesty.
Like all things that harmed us, we give them up one day at a time.
Thanks for sharing bubbles. Nothing hypocrite in sharing honesty.
RE-member- DONT QUIT!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: right where I'm supposed to be
Posts: 348
<--- agrees with dan 100%. Although I have very little experience with this, the 3 1/2 days I have gone without smoking so far, have really not been too bad at all. I made a plan and picked a quit date a couple weeks away. It gave me some time to psyc myself up for it, so Don't feel hypocrytical at all. I was on this thred everyday for a couple weeks smoking my brains out until my day came and I started using the patch. been going pretty good so far. So make yourself at home here bubblze and smoke one for me will ya?
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Tartfest 2007
Posts: 831
Grab a cup of coffee, I get wordy!
Hiya Bubblze and nice to meet you! If you've perused the threads in this forum, you'll see that there are different routes many have taken to join the UnSmoking Bandwagon. Some go cold turkey, some use meds, nicotine gum or the patch. You may not figure out the first time what works best for you but you're already on your way w/thoughts of quitting and even an approximate quit date. The only support I can offer you is to tell you what has worked for me thus far.
I am very stubborn. I've been a smoker for 20 years. I am not, nor have I been, addicted to drugs or alcohol. I've been wanting to quit (off and on) for a couple or few years but didn't have the nerve. I was afraid of myself, afraid of withdrawals. I found SoberRecovery when my A admitted himself to rehab (another story not for this forum) and through SoberRecovery, I started asking questions/suggestions/advice for quitting smoking and voila! This forum was created and a wonderful start to learning how to unsmoke. My initial intent was to go cold turkey since the meds (Wellbutrin) I tried a couple of years ago caused a painful allergic reaction. My doctor said she wouldn't prescribe or recommend any other artificial means to help me quit so cold turkey seemed like my only option. My A (still in residential rehab, 6 months clean and sober) quit smoking about 6 weeks ago. I figured if HE could quit the drugs, alcohol AND nicotine, the least (and most) I could do was quit the nicotine...one healthy partner does not make for healthy relationship...who's gonna take care of whom in our old age? He's since resumed smoking, oh well, that's neither here nor there.
He was using the patch and talked w/me through all of his steps, how he was feeling, what he did to alleviate cravings, etc. Of course, he also applied the 12 Step process. I decided to try the patch (I know from others' experiences that the gum caused gum and teeth problems and I just spent over 3 months and $1K on gum surgery, I wasn't ready to destroy my gums and I assume sucking on a nicotine lozenge would do the same damage). My initial quit date came and went. I did not give myself enough time to "plan". I bought the patches, I listened to the CD. I did not yet read the booklet. I figured if I was going to do this unsmoking thing, I better do it right to have a chance of achieving the most success. Did I mention I'm stubborn? In typical Codie behavior, I don't ask for help. I am woman, I am invincible, I can do it myself! In my brief (thus far) recovery as a Codie, I have learned that it's o.k. to ask for help (DUH!!! Seems I said the same to my A oh, 6 months ago?) and yes, at times, even the strongest need help. I came up with a new quit date, read the booklet, listened to the CD again and even called the Help Line. I wasn't sure if weekday or weekend day was the best time for me to start to quit. Just a conversation, outlining the course of each day to see which kind of day is less stressful helped me determine the real quit date, which was then about 2 weeks away.
My preparation included what I call "practice"...practice to un-smoke. I wasn't as worried about the physical withdrawals/cravings as I was about the head games. After all, I played head games with myself for years, always having an excuse why I shouldn't quit smoking. My head always won the game. About a week before my quit date, I started to taper my smokes. I figure I smoked about a pack and a half a day. So, I started counting my smokes AND making myself wait before having one. After the 1st 2-3 smokes each morning, about 30 minutes apart, I made myself wait one hour...longer if I could talk myself into waiting "just 5 more minutes" or if I was busy, in a meeting, etc. After about 3 days (smoking 25, 22, 17 smokes respectively), I started to make myself wait at least 90 minutes between smokes. I was finding this very difficult but stuck to it, for the most part. I started my substitutions when it got difficult...hard candy, chewing on coffee stirrers, etc. I managed to reduce my smokes for those next two days to, I believe, 15 and then 16.
Quit day arrived, I slapped on a patch and went about my day. I was surprised how EASY it was! I don't like telling people how easy it was because I don't want to give false hope. However, I will recommend the patch to ANYONE who considers unsmoking (required word here in this forum, we want Websters to include it in their next edition). The 21 mg. is to be used for 28 days. Did I mention I'm stubborn? My A used 21 mg. for 14 days...if he could reduce his mgs. in just 14 days, why can't I???? Oh, I guess you could say I'm a bit competitive too! After 16 days of 21 mg. (don't do the math, I didn't change my patch one day and went patchless another day), I reduced to 14 mg. After about one hour, I turned into a witch. I don't know why, I don't know what set me off. My 10 year old irritated me about nothing, everyone was driving too slow and in my way. How I got to work w/out harming myself or anyone else that day is a miracle. It could've been PMS, I don't know. For 3 days, I was out of sorts, 2 days of being witch. Again, female cycle? Could be, I'm not usually nice that week even if I am smoking.
The risks were too great, the cravings too strong, the will-power weakening. I came here to type aggressions, silliness, ANYTHING to get me through. It also seemed to be the most quiet time for this forum so I just about fell off the bandwagon. What kept me strong were the couple of newbies (Mike, Laura) just starting to unsmoke and I wanted to be supportive, and successful. After boasting ease for 2 weeks, I didn't want to deflate anyone's hopes by seeing me fail. I went back to the 21 mg. For 2 weeks, I said I wasn't going to be stupid, be "strong" or "brave" and stray from my plan or the program provided with the patches. No matter how great I felt, even feeling invincible, like I had a handle on the physical (which were rarely apparent) and psychological withdrawals, I wasn't going to just stop use of the patch. The program is laid out for a reason and except for going 28 days w/the 21 mg. I was going to follow the program. After those 3 days of stupidity, I reminded myself I was being stupid, setting myself up for failure and it wasn't worth taking my angst out on my kids so I went back to the 21 mg. patch. I've been back on it for 3 days now and feeling MUCH better. I don't think I'll ever know if it's the 21 mg. that are helping, or the week of "being a female" passing that has improved my mood. I guess I'll find out when I again reduce to 14 mg. in another 11 days. Whatever it is, I'm playing "by the booklet" from hereon out.
I'm sorry to everyone for the rambling, but it's rare I can offer any support in any forum (lack of experience?) so given the opportunity to sing the patch's praises and lay out the welcome mat for new unsmokers, I hope my story is nothing but encouragement.
Like Dan, I don't consider myself a non-smoker...yet. I still want to smoke, I enjoy the smell when others smoke. I hope that this too shall pass. I've heard that it takes 12 weeks to overcome an addiction. I wouldn't know, what I do know is that it took me 20 years to learn how to smoke 30+ cigs a day, I'll learn to un-smoke in less time, just not 20 hours, or 20 days.
I do have some extra sense of smell, not sure if I've re-acquired my sense of taste yet. I do know I've been eating like crazy. I'm not a huge eater to begin with and my co-workers are hysterical over watching me eat (about every 2 hours, lol, 4-5 small meals a day). It could be worse, I love junk food but I am making the effort to put extra healthy into my diet, extra fruits and lots of water, etc. I am feeling physical changes due to my un-smoking...kinda graphic to post here, but for the better. I've been told after just 2 weeks (it's now 22 days) that my skin tone has improved. I'm not worried about weight gain but should it start to spiral out of control, I'll then tackle that issue. It certainly can't be any more difficult than unsmoking, can it? I know a couple of other unsmokers are dieting which helps them keep their focus off of smoking.
Bubblze, good luck to you. Set a quit date (it truly does require giving yourself at least 2 weeks notice), make a plan, practice to quit. We're here to support you, there's always room on the unsmoking bandwagon!
I am very stubborn. I've been a smoker for 20 years. I am not, nor have I been, addicted to drugs or alcohol. I've been wanting to quit (off and on) for a couple or few years but didn't have the nerve. I was afraid of myself, afraid of withdrawals. I found SoberRecovery when my A admitted himself to rehab (another story not for this forum) and through SoberRecovery, I started asking questions/suggestions/advice for quitting smoking and voila! This forum was created and a wonderful start to learning how to unsmoke. My initial intent was to go cold turkey since the meds (Wellbutrin) I tried a couple of years ago caused a painful allergic reaction. My doctor said she wouldn't prescribe or recommend any other artificial means to help me quit so cold turkey seemed like my only option. My A (still in residential rehab, 6 months clean and sober) quit smoking about 6 weeks ago. I figured if HE could quit the drugs, alcohol AND nicotine, the least (and most) I could do was quit the nicotine...one healthy partner does not make for healthy relationship...who's gonna take care of whom in our old age? He's since resumed smoking, oh well, that's neither here nor there.
He was using the patch and talked w/me through all of his steps, how he was feeling, what he did to alleviate cravings, etc. Of course, he also applied the 12 Step process. I decided to try the patch (I know from others' experiences that the gum caused gum and teeth problems and I just spent over 3 months and $1K on gum surgery, I wasn't ready to destroy my gums and I assume sucking on a nicotine lozenge would do the same damage). My initial quit date came and went. I did not give myself enough time to "plan". I bought the patches, I listened to the CD. I did not yet read the booklet. I figured if I was going to do this unsmoking thing, I better do it right to have a chance of achieving the most success. Did I mention I'm stubborn? In typical Codie behavior, I don't ask for help. I am woman, I am invincible, I can do it myself! In my brief (thus far) recovery as a Codie, I have learned that it's o.k. to ask for help (DUH!!! Seems I said the same to my A oh, 6 months ago?) and yes, at times, even the strongest need help. I came up with a new quit date, read the booklet, listened to the CD again and even called the Help Line. I wasn't sure if weekday or weekend day was the best time for me to start to quit. Just a conversation, outlining the course of each day to see which kind of day is less stressful helped me determine the real quit date, which was then about 2 weeks away.
My preparation included what I call "practice"...practice to un-smoke. I wasn't as worried about the physical withdrawals/cravings as I was about the head games. After all, I played head games with myself for years, always having an excuse why I shouldn't quit smoking. My head always won the game. About a week before my quit date, I started to taper my smokes. I figure I smoked about a pack and a half a day. So, I started counting my smokes AND making myself wait before having one. After the 1st 2-3 smokes each morning, about 30 minutes apart, I made myself wait one hour...longer if I could talk myself into waiting "just 5 more minutes" or if I was busy, in a meeting, etc. After about 3 days (smoking 25, 22, 17 smokes respectively), I started to make myself wait at least 90 minutes between smokes. I was finding this very difficult but stuck to it, for the most part. I started my substitutions when it got difficult...hard candy, chewing on coffee stirrers, etc. I managed to reduce my smokes for those next two days to, I believe, 15 and then 16.
Quit day arrived, I slapped on a patch and went about my day. I was surprised how EASY it was! I don't like telling people how easy it was because I don't want to give false hope. However, I will recommend the patch to ANYONE who considers unsmoking (required word here in this forum, we want Websters to include it in their next edition). The 21 mg. is to be used for 28 days. Did I mention I'm stubborn? My A used 21 mg. for 14 days...if he could reduce his mgs. in just 14 days, why can't I???? Oh, I guess you could say I'm a bit competitive too! After 16 days of 21 mg. (don't do the math, I didn't change my patch one day and went patchless another day), I reduced to 14 mg. After about one hour, I turned into a witch. I don't know why, I don't know what set me off. My 10 year old irritated me about nothing, everyone was driving too slow and in my way. How I got to work w/out harming myself or anyone else that day is a miracle. It could've been PMS, I don't know. For 3 days, I was out of sorts, 2 days of being witch. Again, female cycle? Could be, I'm not usually nice that week even if I am smoking.
The risks were too great, the cravings too strong, the will-power weakening. I came here to type aggressions, silliness, ANYTHING to get me through. It also seemed to be the most quiet time for this forum so I just about fell off the bandwagon. What kept me strong were the couple of newbies (Mike, Laura) just starting to unsmoke and I wanted to be supportive, and successful. After boasting ease for 2 weeks, I didn't want to deflate anyone's hopes by seeing me fail. I went back to the 21 mg. For 2 weeks, I said I wasn't going to be stupid, be "strong" or "brave" and stray from my plan or the program provided with the patches. No matter how great I felt, even feeling invincible, like I had a handle on the physical (which were rarely apparent) and psychological withdrawals, I wasn't going to just stop use of the patch. The program is laid out for a reason and except for going 28 days w/the 21 mg. I was going to follow the program. After those 3 days of stupidity, I reminded myself I was being stupid, setting myself up for failure and it wasn't worth taking my angst out on my kids so I went back to the 21 mg. patch. I've been back on it for 3 days now and feeling MUCH better. I don't think I'll ever know if it's the 21 mg. that are helping, or the week of "being a female" passing that has improved my mood. I guess I'll find out when I again reduce to 14 mg. in another 11 days. Whatever it is, I'm playing "by the booklet" from hereon out.
I'm sorry to everyone for the rambling, but it's rare I can offer any support in any forum (lack of experience?) so given the opportunity to sing the patch's praises and lay out the welcome mat for new unsmokers, I hope my story is nothing but encouragement.
Like Dan, I don't consider myself a non-smoker...yet. I still want to smoke, I enjoy the smell when others smoke. I hope that this too shall pass. I've heard that it takes 12 weeks to overcome an addiction. I wouldn't know, what I do know is that it took me 20 years to learn how to smoke 30+ cigs a day, I'll learn to un-smoke in less time, just not 20 hours, or 20 days.
I do have some extra sense of smell, not sure if I've re-acquired my sense of taste yet. I do know I've been eating like crazy. I'm not a huge eater to begin with and my co-workers are hysterical over watching me eat (about every 2 hours, lol, 4-5 small meals a day). It could be worse, I love junk food but I am making the effort to put extra healthy into my diet, extra fruits and lots of water, etc. I am feeling physical changes due to my un-smoking...kinda graphic to post here, but for the better. I've been told after just 2 weeks (it's now 22 days) that my skin tone has improved. I'm not worried about weight gain but should it start to spiral out of control, I'll then tackle that issue. It certainly can't be any more difficult than unsmoking, can it? I know a couple of other unsmokers are dieting which helps them keep their focus off of smoking.
Bubblze, good luck to you. Set a quit date (it truly does require giving yourself at least 2 weeks notice), make a plan, practice to quit. We're here to support you, there's always room on the unsmoking bandwagon!
:sad6:
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Tartfest 2007
Posts: 831
I miss Little Green Guy...I only noticed a half hour ago that he's AWOL.
Sure hope HE didn't step out for a smoke, gotta be difficult to laugh as hard as he does w/reduced lung function.
I still apologize for the lengthy post, deleting detail is something I haven't mastered yet.
Sure hope HE didn't step out for a smoke, gotta be difficult to laugh as hard as he does w/reduced lung function.
I still apologize for the lengthy post, deleting detail is something I haven't mastered yet.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Tartfest 2007
Posts: 831
Anyone have a link to a transparent Smilie? You're right Dan...feeling a tad melancholy here. Home alone, nobody around to notice if I light up or not. Luckily (I think) for me, there aren't any cigs in the house.
30 days? You don't say (and you didn't...I saw it nowhere, honest!) YOU inspire me because I know I'm right behind you and I refuse to get beat! Have I mentioned I'm stubborn? and competitive?
I'm gonna put myself in time-out. I'll be back later to look for those 5000 word essays.
((((((Unsmokers)))))))
<hands the reins to the Unsmokers Bandwagon to Dan>
30 days? You don't say (and you didn't...I saw it nowhere, honest!) YOU inspire me because I know I'm right behind you and I refuse to get beat! Have I mentioned I'm stubborn? and competitive?
I'm gonna put myself in time-out. I'll be back later to look for those 5000 word essays.
((((((Unsmokers)))))))
<hands the reins to the Unsmokers Bandwagon to Dan>
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: mass
Posts: 1,356
Well havent been doing that great. Today however its twelve thirty and have only smoked one ciggerette so far. I want one but I am forcing my self to wait for the hour twelve forty seven LMAO. shall I tell you the seconds too. I am just so tired of smoking why must I have this nasty thing in my mouth in my lungs, and the smell ewe soo nasty why why why !!! Please god stop these urges and cravings for this nasty habit as you helped me battle the heroin the crack the coke lordy lordy the smoking sure is a tough one. Eight days until quitting time and I seem to be smokking the same. Today I am hoping to change that. I also have not been in here everyday posting been avoiding maybe that is why I have not slowe down. I will be here tomorrow my life depends on it. So does my daughter.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
((Bubbles))
I know that's not the right spelling for your nickname, hope you let me get away with it! I'm like a month in and I fight the urge daily. It's proving to be by far the hardest thing I've kicked. I'm so happy you're easing into this.
The unsmokers will be right here when you decide to hang up your lighter.
This can be done.
A little bit of nasty determination is all you need.
And as you've removed other monkeys from your shoulder, I know you've got some of that!
I know that's not the right spelling for your nickname, hope you let me get away with it! I'm like a month in and I fight the urge daily. It's proving to be by far the hardest thing I've kicked. I'm so happy you're easing into this.
The unsmokers will be right here when you decide to hang up your lighter.
This can be done.
A little bit of nasty determination is all you need.
And as you've removed other monkeys from your shoulder, I know you've got some of that!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I'm just here to cheer you on Bubblze!!
Something I notice - the urge comes on strong, but passes more quickly with every day, and with time hardly every happens. I think part of that is that my "mindset" is no longer that of a smoker. I do other things, read, walk, clean my house...anything when the urge to pick up hits. I do things that I don't normally smoke when doing. I just stopped thinking like a smoker, at least most of the time.
Weight was an issue for me, and I knew it might be my downfall, so when I quit smoking I began dieting too (I already needed to lose about 25 pounds and so far have lost 20). I chose a modified version of Atkins (I allow myself anything under 60 carbs a day, and one meal a week for anything I want) because it allows me to eat lots and nibble lots and I am never hungry and never feel deprived of good stuff. I get to have cream in my coffee, I can eat lots of meat...steak, pork, chicken or anything I want..and I buy the low carb bread, which tastes just fine, and low carb tortilla wraps, so don't feel like I miss out much in the bread department.
Anyway, I'm not here to talk about my diet, but it is something that helped my stay unsmoking.
After 72 hours the nicotine is out of your system, and already you will be on your way to living healthier and smelling like a rose.
Hugs
Ann
Something I notice - the urge comes on strong, but passes more quickly with every day, and with time hardly every happens. I think part of that is that my "mindset" is no longer that of a smoker. I do other things, read, walk, clean my house...anything when the urge to pick up hits. I do things that I don't normally smoke when doing. I just stopped thinking like a smoker, at least most of the time.
Weight was an issue for me, and I knew it might be my downfall, so when I quit smoking I began dieting too (I already needed to lose about 25 pounds and so far have lost 20). I chose a modified version of Atkins (I allow myself anything under 60 carbs a day, and one meal a week for anything I want) because it allows me to eat lots and nibble lots and I am never hungry and never feel deprived of good stuff. I get to have cream in my coffee, I can eat lots of meat...steak, pork, chicken or anything I want..and I buy the low carb bread, which tastes just fine, and low carb tortilla wraps, so don't feel like I miss out much in the bread department.
Anyway, I'm not here to talk about my diet, but it is something that helped my stay unsmoking.
After 72 hours the nicotine is out of your system, and already you will be on your way to living healthier and smelling like a rose.
Hugs
Ann
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: mass
Posts: 1,356
Hi all well got one week togo until my quit date. Trying to prepare myself. I was thinking last night looking at this small cylinder shape that has so much control over me. It is so small and it has control of my life. Well not no more I can and will beat this. I have been nervous these past few days about quitting. It has been in my life for so long now. I can not let it control me though. Heck its so small and its so bad for me. Cursed I will crush it with support and knowledge and the thought of how much money I will save.
I am watching my ciggerette intake. I will go down a little each day so the quitting day will hopefully be a tad easier. I am also reminding myself it wont be easy. I must be strong Its going to be hard but I can do it.
I am watching my ciggerette intake. I will go down a little each day so the quitting day will hopefully be a tad easier. I am also reminding myself it wont be easy. I must be strong Its going to be hard but I can do it.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Tartfest 2007
Posts: 831
Hiya Bubblze...we're all here doing the countdown with you!
Forgive me for asking, I have a horrendous memory and not much time to scroll around and re-read, but are you going to quit Cold Turkey or will you be having some "help", i.e. patch, gum, lozenge, etc.???
I too was terribly nervous about quitting, it took me 3 years to get up the nerve to try again and it was ALOT easier than I ever dreamed, hence, my previously asked question. You're on the right track it seems, you're posting here, you have a quit date and you're counting down the smokes.
Yes, you CAN do it...join the Unsmokers' Bandwagon!
Forgive me for asking, I have a horrendous memory and not much time to scroll around and re-read, but are you going to quit Cold Turkey or will you be having some "help", i.e. patch, gum, lozenge, etc.???
I too was terribly nervous about quitting, it took me 3 years to get up the nerve to try again and it was ALOT easier than I ever dreamed, hence, my previously asked question. You're on the right track it seems, you're posting here, you have a quit date and you're counting down the smokes.
Yes, you CAN do it...join the Unsmokers' Bandwagon!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: mass
Posts: 1,356
Hi all its me again. I have been getting nervous with the day closing in on me. Why do I fear this day? Why do I fear this small crutch? I am so disappointed in myself for my fears. I just want to quit and stay quit. Ive never gone a full day with out smoking . Exept oh yeah when I was in a coma. Geez I am such a wimp. Letting tobacco have so much control. I fear my moods I fear I dont know the unknown Never going with out I dont know what to expect. I fear gaining more weight Having probs with eating junk as it is. I need your prayers to help me get the strength to get through.
I think cold turky cant afford the patch or can I yeah without buying smokes I can afford the patch or some gum. I will let ya know. If I feel the temptation is to great then I will seek help weaning off.
I think cold turky cant afford the patch or can I yeah without buying smokes I can afford the patch or some gum. I will let ya know. If I feel the temptation is to great then I will seek help weaning off.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: mass
Posts: 1,356
The day is getting closer and did not really think of it til now. I am still smoking alot. I did alright watching my nicotine intake and for some reason just stopped doing it. I will try again today however. :banghead:
I am thinking strongly I may need help for this. I will go the first day without see what happens(think I alkready wrote this) then get help if needed. Fear makes me repeat myself LOL.
God give me the stength to accept the things I can not change and the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Thy will not mine be done. Please HP
I am thinking strongly I may need help for this. I will go the first day without see what happens(think I alkready wrote this) then get help if needed. Fear makes me repeat myself LOL.
God give me the stength to accept the things I can not change and the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Thy will not mine be done. Please HP
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