journeycc

Hey everyone..just a short intro. Im back again today, as i relapsed 3 days ago. Thankfully, the pain i experienced in 3 days was enough to propel me back to a mtg today and to admit i went out. I am so depressed, ashamed, and everything else you can imagine that after 4 1/2 yrs..i picked up drugs. I know no one is "drunk proof" but still and all i feel so overwhelemed. I havent stopped crying for 2 days. I know i have to carry on but, im just hating myself right now. Not to mention, i am terrified. I havent felt this afraid in years. I forgot how scary this disease really is..and now i know and it's terrible. Im praying to hang on, i need all of you..i need anything that can help me right now. Thanks....

Dee74

Welcome Journeycc

I'm sorry for your relapse but it sounds to me like you're doing everything you should now to get back on track.

Coming here will be a great addiction to your programme too.

I know it's scary but...real, lasting recovery happens

D

Grungehead

Hi journeycc,

I have been in your shoes before. For me there seemed to be a "special" level of guilt and remorse for relapsing after 7 years sober. I don't know if I'd even call myself sober the last 2 years...more like a dry drunk. I'm glad you made it back so soon as it took me a lot longer (several years). I was talking with someone else who relapsed after several years who reminded me that we learned a lot during our time in recovery and we didn't lose all of that just because we relapsed. But we do need to look at why it happened. For me it was pretty simple...I stopped doing the things I needed to do to stay sober. I stopped treating my disease.

I'm really grateful I was able to make it back again because I set an all time new low bottom for myself. I have 33 days today and I'm trying to just be happy that I'm sober today and not beat myself up over the past. I can't do anything about it anyway except learn from it.

Grungehead

Freudian slip D?