I had my first sober panic attack
I had my first sober panic attack
in a meeting last night. I was reading of all things. I started getting paranoid of how I sounded and then over thinking that, and the next thing you know I was freaking out and I had to stop reading. I just passed it to someone else and they thought I couldn't see, so it was no big deal. Except it was. I felt like jumping up and running out of there.
I have no idea what caused it. Except I am bipolar and maybe it is just a freak thing.
I have no idea what caused it. Except I am bipolar and maybe it is just a freak thing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,949
I've done that once. something about reading out loud that gets me flustered or mesmerized. I start concentrating on my own voice rather then what im reading. then i start panicking because i lost my spot on the page. i don't think i could read from a teleprompter if i was a reporter or a politician
Yes, when I drank my life was one big panic attack after another. This is the first one I have had in over 7 months. Reading in front of people can freak me out I guess. This is the first time it did to that extent though.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
I'm sorry this happened to you :/ I know how you feel. I had one yesterday & it's probably the 2nd or 3rd one I've had since being sober. Sometimes there's a reason, sometimes it's just my anxiety disorder. Hugs to you
Sorry - yes it's happened to me sober, but I've definitely noticed that it's better than during my drinking days. By the end I couldn't even look a person in the eye without having an attack! I think it's safe to say things are improving, right?
Even so, feel free to update if you find something that helps. I believe everything is better when I can hit the "off" switch in my brain - but even when sober, I still have trouble finding it sometimes! Thanks for sharing and I hope you are feeling okay about it.
Even so, feel free to update if you find something that helps. I believe everything is better when I can hit the "off" switch in my brain - but even when sober, I still have trouble finding it sometimes! Thanks for sharing and I hope you are feeling okay about it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
I am so sorry that you experienced this. I have had plenty of them sober, and drunk. They come out of nowhere, and for me, i cant breathe. Tears are pouring out of my eyes with my heart beating a billion beats a minute. Of geez....I can totally relate. I am glad that you made it through, Sometimes it just happens. Hopefully, this is the last one for a really long time. Are you stressed? What do you think triggered the event? ( If you already answered this, forgive me. I didnt read the whole thread)
I remember if the person chairing the meeting asked me to read the Traditions I would start freaking out (not full blown panic attack but close). The problem was every time I read the Traditions I would mess up the 11th and 12th Tradition when I had to say anonymity. So as soon as someone asked me to read the Traditions the panic would start and I would sit there practicing anonymity over and over only to mess it up every time and be embarrassed.
Fast forward to my first meeting a month ago after getting sober again after 7 years back out drinking. First thing that happens is I get handed the Traditions lol. Fortunately I had forgotten about my problem and had no problems. The next meeting I went to the guy reading the Traditions got tongue tied with anonymity and then I remembered I had the same problem years ago and chuckled to myself.
I just passed 30 days and I have laughed more than I probably have laughed in the last 2 years (mostly at myself haha).
P.S. I just wanted say I have suffered from depression and panic attacks so I know they are no laughing matter. Your post just reminded me of the fear of reading my first time round in AA. I can look back and laugh now but it wasn't funny at the time. Hopefully you will be able to do the same.
Fast forward to my first meeting a month ago after getting sober again after 7 years back out drinking. First thing that happens is I get handed the Traditions lol. Fortunately I had forgotten about my problem and had no problems. The next meeting I went to the guy reading the Traditions got tongue tied with anonymity and then I remembered I had the same problem years ago and chuckled to myself.
I just passed 30 days and I have laughed more than I probably have laughed in the last 2 years (mostly at myself haha).
P.S. I just wanted say I have suffered from depression and panic attacks so I know they are no laughing matter. Your post just reminded me of the fear of reading my first time round in AA. I can look back and laugh now but it wasn't funny at the time. Hopefully you will be able to do the same.
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