feeling powerless
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 5
feeling powerless
I have been with my alcoholic for 13 years. Lived with him for 6 of those years, married 2007, then I moved out nearly two years ago saying I would consider moving back with him if he could stay sober for 6 months. He started out in total denial and was a functioning alcoholic. This has moved onto a non functioning alcoholic, who can not hold down a job.
He has been in detox many times, and we have spent thousands on a rehab. He has come away from that, with all the information that he needs to stay sober. Only his parents and myself are left to support him.(for which I think he is extremely lucky). He lives with his parents. We speak several times a day, and see each other at least once a week. I refuse to see him if he is under the influence, which has been every day for the last three weeks. I hang up on him if he gets abusive on the phone.
I still hope. I still love him. When he is sober, he is the most wonderful person, caring, thoughtful and loving. He hates the person he becomes when he is drunk. He says that all he wants is to be happy together, but will not put in the effort to do what he has to. Of course on on drunk days I am the worst person in the world, and he is drinking beause I am not with him.
I feel like I am on a merry go round that is getting faster and faster, and I just want it to crash, so I don't have to think about it anymore.
He has been in detox many times, and we have spent thousands on a rehab. He has come away from that, with all the information that he needs to stay sober. Only his parents and myself are left to support him.(for which I think he is extremely lucky). He lives with his parents. We speak several times a day, and see each other at least once a week. I refuse to see him if he is under the influence, which has been every day for the last three weeks. I hang up on him if he gets abusive on the phone.
I still hope. I still love him. When he is sober, he is the most wonderful person, caring, thoughtful and loving. He hates the person he becomes when he is drunk. He says that all he wants is to be happy together, but will not put in the effort to do what he has to. Of course on on drunk days I am the worst person in the world, and he is drinking beause I am not with him.
I feel like I am on a merry go round that is getting faster and faster, and I just want it to crash, so I don't have to think about it anymore.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, I wantalife. Welcome to SR.
Sorry to hear you are going through this hard situation. I haven't much of related experience myself, but there's a thread for families of alcoholics where, I'm sure, you'll find a lot of useful information and advice.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Anyway, keep posting anytime you need to share you feelings or vent out, You'll be never alone here.
Take care.
Sorry to hear you are going through this hard situation. I haven't much of related experience myself, but there's a thread for families of alcoholics where, I'm sure, you'll find a lot of useful information and advice.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Anyway, keep posting anytime you need to share you feelings or vent out, You'll be never alone here.
Take care.
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