need help with this situation i am in/
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: calgary
Posts: 4
need help with this situation i am in/
hi i am a yr clean and sober and live in calgary alberta. I go to n.a here and love that group it helps me and i have learnt so much. I just wanted to say i am happy to have this group also and i hope to learn alot of new things and help with my recovery. I have a sponsor in my n.a and she is nearly ten yrs clean and sober and when i recently got a new commer in the program asked me to be her sponsor i said yes and she knows me and fells comfortable talking with me and we enjoy doing step work together. I have told my sponsor about this and she said no you cant be her sponsor cause i am only a yr clean and sober . Is this right for her to be able to tell me this. she has more clean time and many yrs of it but if someone asks for my help i like to think i can help her a little bit. any one want to help me with this. I also think my sponsor is mad or hurt at me and i plan on talking to her but just need someone outside of my groups advise/ thanks
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,969
have you worked all of those 12 steps? Have you had any kind of spiritual awakening?
Talk with your sponsor. Is it time to find a new sponsor?
You know how to stay stopped for one year and counting forward, why can't you sponsor someone else?
I don't need the answers. What's your higher power say to you about this in your meditations?
Talk with your sponsor. Is it time to find a new sponsor?
You know how to stay stopped for one year and counting forward, why can't you sponsor someone else?
I don't need the answers. What's your higher power say to you about this in your meditations?
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
This is really an NA matter and I don't know what the NA program says. But as an AA member I can say our book places to time limit on sobriety before you can sponsor. In fact, if they had adopted that practice AA would not exist today.
Imagine if Bill had said to Dr Bob, "sorry chum I can't sponsor you as I've only been sober six months" - ridiculous eh?
My suggestion : look in the mirror, ask yourself "do I have anything to offer this person?"
Right at the start of our Big Book, Ebby impresses upon Bill the need to work with others as Ebby had worked with him. It is core to long term recovery.
It is my observation that those who sit on there a#$ being sponsored but not doing sponsoring themselves for too long, miss the whole point. The most fantastic spirtually rewarding part of the program is helping another to recover, and watch that process occurr right in front of you. There ain't nothing to beat that!
It's why I keep coming back after all this time
Imagine if Bill had said to Dr Bob, "sorry chum I can't sponsor you as I've only been sober six months" - ridiculous eh?
My suggestion : look in the mirror, ask yourself "do I have anything to offer this person?"
Right at the start of our Big Book, Ebby impresses upon Bill the need to work with others as Ebby had worked with him. It is core to long term recovery.
It is my observation that those who sit on there a#$ being sponsored but not doing sponsoring themselves for too long, miss the whole point. The most fantastic spirtually rewarding part of the program is helping another to recover, and watch that process occurr right in front of you. There ain't nothing to beat that!
It's why I keep coming back after all this time
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,636
Hi tattoo -
Welcome to SR. I'm not in AA so can only give general mentoring advice.
Do you think that you're being this person's sponsor sets them up for the best opportunity for success in sobriety, or is this a concern because being a sponsor is something that you want?
Your post mostly speaks to how you're feeling and being affected by the situation and what you want. The path forward might become clearer if you focus on the needs of the person your trying to help instead, taking into consideration the points that your sponsor raises.
I would be cautious to discount your sponsor's input given that they have
1. spent considerable time with you & have a good read on where you are at in your recovery
2. have experience being a sponsor themselves
3. their goal is to assist you in your sobriety
Part of the skill in being a good mentor is understanding how to get beyond the delivery in order to hear the core of the intension.
If becoming a sponsor is something that you would like to do, then why not work with your sponsor to come up with a development plan?
Welcome to SR. I'm not in AA so can only give general mentoring advice.
Do you think that you're being this person's sponsor sets them up for the best opportunity for success in sobriety, or is this a concern because being a sponsor is something that you want?
Your post mostly speaks to how you're feeling and being affected by the situation and what you want. The path forward might become clearer if you focus on the needs of the person your trying to help instead, taking into consideration the points that your sponsor raises.
I would be cautious to discount your sponsor's input given that they have
1. spent considerable time with you & have a good read on where you are at in your recovery
2. have experience being a sponsor themselves
3. their goal is to assist you in your sobriety
Part of the skill in being a good mentor is understanding how to get beyond the delivery in order to hear the core of the intension.
If becoming a sponsor is something that you would like to do, then why not work with your sponsor to come up with a development plan?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
length of time without a drink or drug doesnt determine mental, emotional, and/or spritual fitness, so length of time without a drink/drug doesnt determine if you are ready to sponsor. i only know a very little of the situation, but ya say yer working the steps witht he newcomer, so to me that tells me yer ready to be a sponsor. my 1st sponsor had 31 years in AA. in 5 years as my sponsor, he never once pulled out the BB or mentioned i should work any particular step when i went to him with my problems. getting into the steps and helping a sponsee see how the steps ( and the principles of the steps) can be used in all of our affairs is what sponsoring is about.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: calgary
Posts: 4
thanks
Originally Posted by Gottalife 
This is really an NA matter and I don't know what the NA program says. But as an AA member I can say our book places to time limit on sobriety before you can sponsor. In fact, if they had adopted that practice AA would not exist today.
Imagine if Bill had said to Dr Bob, "sorry chum I can't sponsor you as I've only been sober six months" - ridiculous eh?
My suggestion : look in the mirror, ask yourself "do I have anything to offer this person?"
Right at the start of our Big Book, Ebby impresses upon Bill the need to work with others as Ebby had worked with him. It is core to long term recovery.
It is my observation that those who sit on there a#$ being sponsored but not doing sponsoring themselves for too long, miss the whole point. The most fantastic spirtually rewarding part of the program is helping another to recover, and watch that process occurr right in front of you. There ain't nothing to beat that!
It's why I keep coming back after all this time
Imagine if Bill had said to Dr Bob, "sorry chum I can't sponsor you as I've only been sober six months" - ridiculous eh?
My suggestion : look in the mirror, ask yourself "do I have anything to offer this person?"
Right at the start of our Big Book, Ebby impresses upon Bill the need to work with others as Ebby had worked with him. It is core to long term recovery.
It is my observation that those who sit on there a#$ being sponsored but not doing sponsoring themselves for too long, miss the whole point. The most fantastic spirtually rewarding part of the program is helping another to recover, and watch that process occurr right in front of you. There ain't nothing to beat that!
It's why I keep coming back after all this time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: calgary
Posts: 4
hi thanks you have answered my question and n.a works like a.a and i am so happy i got your feed back . I will be able to sponsor this lady and i will be happy to give back to the program.
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