wpainterw

Shortly after Christmas I lost a close friend. Years back alcohol had destroyed his family life, his livelihood and, I would think at times, his self respect. He lived to see his hopes dashed to pieces, his prospects falling apart like leaves in an autumn rain. But he survived and had his last drink in 1983. He died in a very modest retirement facility, aged 86 with thirty years sobriety. He was no failure. He had won the hardest battle of all, the battle with himself. It reminds me of the eloquent eulogy at the end of Arthur Miller's play, "Death of a Salesman" where the grieving widow, mourning at her husband's graveside, says, "Attention must be paid to such a man"
In loving memory of my friend. And in endless admiration and respect.

W.

freshstart57

I am sorry for the loss of your friend, W. Attention must be paid indeed.

quitforme79

Beautiful post.

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss w, but thank you for your post

D

IWillWin

I too am sorry for your loss. I just recently suffered the loss of my father and this post made me smile. He too fought the battle and won about 20 years before his passing earlier this year.

Attention must be paid, indeed. With condolences and appreciation...

IWW

Hevyn

That was beautiful, w. I'm glad he had those 30 sober years - and a compassionate friend in you.

Soberween

Thank you wpainterw.... you struck a chord with me in that beautifully written post. I appreciate you sharing it.

Odelle

I am sorry for your loss, W, you are right, your friend was not a failure; he took with him his victory over alcoholism, leaving all lives tangible possessions behind, as we all do in the end. Thank you for sharing.

wpainterw

P.S. This was the friend who, having lost his employment and his marriage, told me thirty years ago that he had managed to begin recovery with the help of AA. He said that I would have a much better chance for recovery if I didn't try to do it alone even with the help of counseling. I let five more years go by before I followed his advice. I didn't feel comfortable with some of the things in AA and joined an agnostics group even though I'm not an agnostic or atheist. Nonetheless, with the help of my friends in that group I haven't had a drink for 25 years. So my friend was right. It was far safer not to try to do it alone. At least that was so for me. This was my friend's gift to me. He lost everything but this and yet he had given me a room full of gold.

W.