recovery
recovery
hmmm.... well. here I am. the sermon today: nothing is impossible with god.
I just can't build a life with this boy. I get it now, but I still want to see him get well.
where do I go from here? block and walk? really??? I don't want to. but I have to. I hate this. I hate that I didn't do it sooner. Im not done I can't feel done yet. I still have hope.
WHY?????
there is no hope.
he is lost. I don't think he will ever get well. but I wish he would.
I just can't build a life with this boy. I get it now, but I still want to see him get well.
where do I go from here? block and walk? really??? I don't want to. but I have to. I hate this. I hate that I didn't do it sooner. Im not done I can't feel done yet. I still have hope.
WHY?????
there is no hope.
he is lost. I don't think he will ever get well. but I wish he would.
What do you want for YOUR future? You deserve happiness, peace and a responsible partner who is sober.
You feel upset today, probably most days. I don't think that's how you want to live.
You can only make choices about your life, but the important thing is that you DO get to make choices that are good for you.
Wishing you happier days ahead.
Hugs
You feel upset today, probably most days. I don't think that's how you want to live.
You can only make choices about your life, but the important thing is that you DO get to make choices that are good for you.
Wishing you happier days ahead.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 68
Lilly I totally understand !! I'm exactly where u are at he doesn't get it !! He many never he may die or go to jail those are the choices left I don't want him to die !! But there is nothing I can do about it !! It so painful I know but Ann is right !! I have to do it too .. But just know really u are not alone I know exactly how u feel I cry everyday about it but god keeps showing me the truth
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 36
I feel your words exactly. It's very difficult. I've flip flopped back and forth between staying and going so many times but I know the right answer. You're a strong person. I admire you and find strength in reading your posts.
The hardest thing to face is to admit we are powerless.
I don't say that as part of step 9 of any 12 step program---
I say it as my true experience with addiction.
The problem was me.My ego.To be annoyingly arrogant---
I had never come across a problem in my life(personal or professional)
----that I could not easily solve.
(This thing knocked me on my a**)
Emergency egress from these situations is not cowardice,failure,
or a character defect.Sometimes,it is the only option to prevent
self destruction.
We wish he would get well too,Lily.....but wishing just isn't enough.
I don't say that as part of step 9 of any 12 step program---
I say it as my true experience with addiction.
The problem was me.My ego.To be annoyingly arrogant---
I had never come across a problem in my life(personal or professional)
----that I could not easily solve.
(This thing knocked me on my a**)
Emergency egress from these situations is not cowardice,failure,
or a character defect.Sometimes,it is the only option to prevent
self destruction.
We wish he would get well too,Lily.....but wishing just isn't enough.
Addiction - cunning, baffling and powerful. Sometimes a relapse can be an opportunity to learn, grow and gain a stronger recovery. I pray this is the case with your bf.
More importantly, how are you and your recovery?
More importantly, how are you and your recovery?
after taking a day to reassess this "test" I have decided it was an epic FAIL!!!
I drove by his work today to see if he was really there....
got lost obesessing quite a bit.
but all of my homework is done!!!!!
Epic fails are gifts.We do our best learning there!
Cunning,baffling,powerful----that's addiction all
right!
My takeaway was that (for the first time in my
life!) ....I was out of my league.
The tuition was astronomical.I frustrated my professors
to no end! They had bets on how short my retention would
be....of the simplest material!
So if your endgame was to out-dumb ME....then you
LOSE!
Learning is good,but beating yourself up serves no useful
purpose.Good Luck Lily!
Cunning,baffling,powerful----that's addiction all
right!
My takeaway was that (for the first time in my
life!) ....I was out of my league.
The tuition was astronomical.I frustrated my professors
to no end! They had bets on how short my retention would
be....of the simplest material!
So if your endgame was to out-dumb ME....then you
LOSE!
Learning is good,but beating yourself up serves no useful
purpose.Good Luck Lily!
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