Day 3- o.k. but some silly issues-feels ridiculous...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: self made rehab
Posts: 8
Day 3- o.k. but some silly issues-feels ridiculous...
Only 72 hours in: Seriously weird dreams and a heavy-exhausted head when I wake up.
Then I almost tripped up today-I was killing time (and urges), trying to relax, just watching tv. The big mistake I made was watching a few back to back documentaries I had recorded on different restaurants/cuisines worldwide.
The focus was food- but always at the edge of each pretty shot and accompanying the final meals was wine, lots of attractive glasses of wine...I hit delete straight off. I can't be neutral at the moment So, the result is- at the moment, no more foodie-type programmes.
Next-grabbed my ipod for a walk- to get some of the nervous energy out and try to exhaust my body- so that I can hopefully sleep more than 4 hours tonight.
Oh no!- Listening away, picking up the pace and realise that most of my motivational music for exercise features lyrics about imbibing everything- booze, drugs, drugs, booze.
I wanted the music for the tempo and energy, but in my current ultra-sensitive state, I realised that many of the lyrics are about drinking and partying. I stopped mid hiking track and took off my headphones...my (probably delusional) thoughts were that if I continue to listen, then it'd be like a friend repetitively encouraging me to "drink, drink, drink, do it, do it, do it"...
I must be crazy. I can't remain this sensitive forever, surely...I won't be able to leave the house or see anyone. I have to get a grip.
Just a vent- I don't want to give up everything I love- just alcohol. But everything seems connected today. I know it's only day 3...have to keep going...at least I did not set foot in a bottle shop.
Then I almost tripped up today-I was killing time (and urges), trying to relax, just watching tv. The big mistake I made was watching a few back to back documentaries I had recorded on different restaurants/cuisines worldwide.
The focus was food- but always at the edge of each pretty shot and accompanying the final meals was wine, lots of attractive glasses of wine...I hit delete straight off. I can't be neutral at the moment So, the result is- at the moment, no more foodie-type programmes.
Next-grabbed my ipod for a walk- to get some of the nervous energy out and try to exhaust my body- so that I can hopefully sleep more than 4 hours tonight.
Oh no!- Listening away, picking up the pace and realise that most of my motivational music for exercise features lyrics about imbibing everything- booze, drugs, drugs, booze.
I wanted the music for the tempo and energy, but in my current ultra-sensitive state, I realised that many of the lyrics are about drinking and partying. I stopped mid hiking track and took off my headphones...my (probably delusional) thoughts were that if I continue to listen, then it'd be like a friend repetitively encouraging me to "drink, drink, drink, do it, do it, do it"...
I must be crazy. I can't remain this sensitive forever, surely...I won't be able to leave the house or see anyone. I have to get a grip.
Just a vent- I don't want to give up everything I love- just alcohol. But everything seems connected today. I know it's only day 3...have to keep going...at least I did not set foot in a bottle shop.
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
You won't keep that level of sensitivity. It can get weird at times. It'll help to scrub your ipod and get some different music. Don't know if you like it but classical is great hiking music. And it's good for the brain. Hang in there.
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
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