miyako

I am really glad I have achieved this and I want it to continue, but I've noticed something. Every time I feel stress the temptation to drink comes back. Lately that's been a frequent occurrence. The stressors aren't anything special, just the usual life stuff, slightly exacerbated. I am getting tired of WANTING to drink and then having to talk myself out of it. Do these frequent temptations/urges ever go away? WHEN???

I was less frequently tempted before and now all of a sudden it is coming up a lot.

thanks ...

stevie88

It's just one of them things I guess....I'm 118 days sober today and the last few days I have been stressed and all I keep thinking about is drinking...I guess we are still learning to cope with stress in other ways whereas before we just drank all our troubles away...Many congrats on 100 days...

Dee74

Hi miyako

It's actually fairly common around 100 days - it's that difficult period where the fear we felt is gone, and the bad memories are somewhat mollified, but we're not yet at the point where we've completely learned to deal with life sober.

You might also be interested in reading about PAWs

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center

D

Toss

Congrats on 100 days, big accomplishment!

I've had long periods of spbriety, so in my case, I don't want to go back to day 1 again.

When the urge approaches, I imagine the pain, money and disappointment I inflicted on my family, friends and myself. It's like a mental flash, but it does the job.

Eventually through support and an alternative plan, you can replace what the poison pretended to be.

Stay strong, keep up the good fight!

Toss

IWillWin

Miyako - yes, the obsession does subside eventually but the thoughts are bound to pop up once in a while.

For me, I play the tape to the end. What will the outcome of my one beer or drink be? In my case, it means drinking until I pass out and waking up at alcoholic dawn (4am) with sweats and what feels like the flu. No thanks, I will have tea please.

Over in the new section about current news and pop culture there's an article written by Russell Brand about what that one glass of drink would do to him. It is witty and funny and so true. Surf on over and have a read. I think of his words often and it is just another example of one alcoholic helping another. His paragraph has kept me sober a few times now. It is wonderful when another's experience and sharing helps someone else. A true blessing of this site and our technology to be connected when we don't even know each other.

Keep posting and sharing! It helps

miyako

Yeah, I suppose I expect too much. After 17 years of extinguishing every spark of stress with vodka and cranberry juice (more vodka than cran ....) I can't expect to forget all about alcohol after a mere 100 days without it. It's just a major pain in the ass. The thought of drinking comes up during the end of a busy day at work and I spend the next 2 or 3 hours beating down the desire and plotting alternate routes to relaxation. There is/was something so instantly RELIEVING in that first glass or two. Then everything blurs out and the events of the day fade away. I'd love to just take that trip .... but on the other hand, that "trip" is probably also a trip to an ugly and painful death, sans liver or kidneys. And of the few years I have left (my life is well over half done) how many hours do I want to waste being a drunk who isn't doing anything productive except keeping the local liquor stores in business .. ? SURELY I can think of something to do that doesn't put me on the tail end of a transplant list in an Obamacare future ...

Thanks for reading my whine/rant ...

Now I am going to pick a book to read and curl up with my dinner in front of the fire.

miyako

Forever Amber on my Kindle = ALMOST like vodka

noanxtime

I'm a few days past 100 and the temptation to drink is still there, just not as strong. I tell myself that drinking does not help anything and my problems are still going to be there tomorrow with a nice hangover to go with them if I drink.
I also had to look at my health as the 'harmless' "box-o-wine" was killing my liver. There are a few ways I would not chose to die and killing my internal organ(s) by poisioning them daily and slowly is not on that list. I wouldn't want my family to think I did it to myself after I'm gone. I guess there's even a small sense of vanity? I hope I check out with some kind of dignity.

Fallow

That is too funny! Alcoholic dawn is the perfect description of it. Been there too many times. I feel a little sick just thinking about it. That tired haven't slept in a week feeling knowing I will soon be vomiting.

No thanks.

Fallow

And miyako do not feel alone. I am at 115 days or so and I get that too. The excitement of being sober has worn off, and sometimes it is easy for me to forget how I landed here when everyone at work is on their way to happy hour.

My problem is I don't know how long my next happy hour would last.

I think things will get better.

Nattythreads

That's some good sobriety going on there miyako. I'm the other way round. I thrive on stress, part adrenalin junky. It's when I'm not stressed with little to do that I've caved in the past. Strange how we can all be so similar and yet different.

Silly milestones can bring their own pressures. The one thing you mustn't do is allow yourself to mentally fixate or associate things. It'll become self-perpetuating where you go "I'm stressed therefore I drink."

Separate the two of them, focus on the drink thoughts and throw them in the trash where they belong. Then deal with and relax in to the stress side of it - some stress is good for all of us, whoever we are. Just part of being alive and human.

But I bet it eases as you magnificently shoot through the 100 days!

Stay strong

NT

Odelle

Take a glass of Pellegrino and cranberry juice with a twist a lime with you for a refreshing drink to enjoy with that book and fire!

Congratulations on 100 days!

miyako

Odelle, I had ginger ale instead. Feeling better and deep into my book .. am about to go to bed.

Seems like there are a lot of people here that have stayed sober right around the same number of days as me! That's a very GOOD thing because we are all going through similar issues.

Delilah1

I was just over the three month mark when I got a little too comfortable. I am now starting out again. Wish I had stuck with the green tea and hot chocolate!

least

Yes, the urge to drink will eventually go away but you must stay sober. It will get better.

Aborigine

I have overwelming feelings too. I'm trying to let it all play out in my head without acting on any of my destructive thoughts.
Dee was right on about reading up on PAWS.
Feelings can't kill you. Drinking can.

duane1

Miyako,
At 10 months, the urge to drink is no where close to what it was at 100 days. I do think it is important to figure out a way to deal with your urges. I use AVRT and it has worked very well for me along with exercise to help balance myself. Figure out what works for you whether it is a hobby, AVRT, AA meetings.....

miyako

Dee74 -- Thanks! I read through that and it IS helpful! I appreciate :-)

Yesterday I had another awful day for no reason.

The horrid brain fog is mostly gone for me. I seem to have worked through that during a much earlier bout of sobriety (?). No idea .. .but it wasn't as much of a problem in the early stages of this period. What does occasionally happen is that I have a day or series of days where I feel almost like I am hung over, though of course I am not. Yesterday after a 7 hour sleep I felt like I hadn't had ANY and spent the day with fatigue, a severe headache and the accompanying bad mood. It was nearly agony, but I got through it and practiced some of my new sobriety techniques when I got home to ease the stress. This whole WEEK has been difficult, alternating between strong urges to drink and feeling hungover, exhausted and/or depressed. No idea why. It's just been crap.

My inner complaint has been that sobriety is not as good as advertised. I thought I would feel BETTER than I do. Much better, in fact. I thought I would have more energy, a clearer head, that I wouldn't have to struggle for a feeling of purpose so much, and I CERTAINLY didn't expect to have periods where I felt hungover when I damn well hadn't had a drop! Now I know that I need to give it MORE time. Even 100 days isn't enough to get back to a healthy place. I suppose that makes sense, but I am impatient for results (grumble, grumble). Anyways, reading the PAWS article helps me to understand better, so thank you!

miyako

@ duane1 -- Yes I do something LIKE that (AVRT). I haven't delved into RR, though at one time I thought that if I chose a recovery program that would be the one. AA ideas definitely do ZIP for me. Right now, I am highly motivated to remain sober. I don't want to blow my 100+ days! When I think of all the days I have wanted to drink and have overcome that feeling, it's a lot to give up for just ONE day of drinking. That means I have to start over. I don't want to start over. Worse, it would likely lead arrow-straight back into the near-daily alky excesses that will hurt my body and mind more. So .... I talk myself down off the urge in the car on the way back from work and usually have a game plan worked out for addressing the urge by the time I get home.

robgt350

miyako
congrats on your 100 days!! good for you. i am on week 17 today. i can relate to you when you get home and wanting to have a drink. like you i enjoyed vodka and cranberry juice or just pepsi. lately i have been doing substitutes of vodka to help relive stress. i started reading again, sudoku, cooking, and other things. but sometimes i get that itch to have a drink again soooooo bad! like you i have to talk my self out of it. the other day i had it so bad i can taste it, so i went for a short jog with my dog and that helped relived some of it. Ganbatte!