Marshmallow

This is my first post, I am hoping for some advice. My husband appears to be on a binge of cocaine and alcohol, and I dont know what to do. He had a problem with drugs before we met, but he stopped using over three years ago. There havent been any problems since we have been together and I am very confused, lost now. Ive never seen him act like this and it is scary.

A whole bunch of bad, difficult stuff has happened in the last few months. Unexpected things. He came home one night last week after work and told me that he screwed up. He had a business dealing through work with an old friend and he brought some coke in, and he used some. He has become terrified because he has an agreement with his business partner about no more drugs, and has something written about being forced to take drug test and facing actions against him. We talked that night, and he seemed to be calmer, but then the next night he came home late and he was high and drinking.

Now for days he has been drinking and doing coke. Im not sure how he manages but he is still going to work and hasnt any trouble yet that I know of. But he comes home having already used, and he does more and more. I saw him inhaling it. Its in powder form. And then he drinks and finally falls asleep. the next moring he will take more coke and go to work.

He is very short with me, tells me to leave him alone. He might as well enjoy getting high if he is going down for it. he has said some awful things, and then he will later cry, tell me how sorry he is, he doesnt know what he is doing, he is scared.

He does have a therapist, but he never goes to see him anymore. I dont know if I should call him, call his friend, his parents, a doctor. I dont know what to do.

Is this what a relapse looks like? Will he stop on his own? If you have any advice I would appreciate it. he is not home from work yet. I cant even talk to him when he is high or drunk. He has never been like this before.

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR. Sounds like you're in a bad spot. I recommend posting in the "Family and Friends" section. You'll probably get a lot more advice there.

Good Luck!

Impurrfect

((Marshmallow)) - Welcome to SR, though sorry for what has brought you here.

Yes, this is what a relapse looks like. As far as will he stop on his own? That's up to him.

I'm a recovering addict and have loved ones who are still actively using something or another. The thought of losing my job didn't make me stop. Actually losing my entire career didn't make me stop. Neither did jail, homelessness, etc.

I have a few years in recovery, but I needed support of others in recovery as my family either doesn't understand addiction or, with a few, they're addicts themselves.

I hope you keep reading and posting here. Cocaine is quite expensive and his actions can seriously affect YOU, especially financially. There is a lot of ES&H (experience, strength and hope) here from people who have walked similar paths.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Marshmallow

thank you. I posted there also now.

least

It's unfortunate, but the only person that can make him want to quit is himself. Best thing you can do is take care of yourself. Set some boundaries with him, what you will or won't tolerate. You may have to just leave him to get better on his own, if he wants to.

There's also AlAnon and NarAnon, for friends and families of alcoholics and addicts. Might be helpful for you to get some support there.

Mizzuno

Personally, I would probably be calling up my relatives and friends and asking if they would allow me to stay with them awhile. I would not be in that type of situation. I hope that you husband will get some help. It sounds like he is getting in pretty deep. SO, yes this is a relapse. IMO

Marshmallow

I did post there but now its gone, I must have posted too many places.

Its been less than a week this has been going on with him. I cant even talk to him hardly because he comes home already using, and then he sleeps it off after drinking, wakes up and uses again. Ive never been around him when he used before. Seeing him like this is scary, and feels strange because I cant have a conversation with him. But how does he handle work? It doesnt make sense to me.

thanks everyone for your replies. Im hoping he is home soon.

Richierich777

You might want to be very straight with him and tell him his boss is going to find out. If you have family in the area go to them. Maybe get some support started, since it seems like he is on it again and hopefully you can get in touch with is friend and tell him to knock it off. Also maybe go to his work and see if he is alright. Keep us posted.