Mizzuno

I feel like I am on raft in the middle of the ocean with out an Island in site. Im not sure about all this life stuff. Im not sure how to do it. Aimless would be a good word. My heart is heavy from this. I dont feel like a planetary person.....I feel like this is a rest stop. Its kinda like being a character on MIB. I am at the headquarters where all the other Aliens go to state their purpose for coming to Earth....Then they are given Visas to stay for a finite amount of time. My time is not finite. ( well it is, but i dont know the way I will exit)....Im not an Alien either..... Dont get me wrong. I am not suicidal in anyway. I am confused as to my purpose. Drinking and drugging will not give me purpose. Drinking and getting high will only cause problems larger than the ones I have.
So, I contribute all this to my last escapade and the ramifications of what I did. I also think that I really need to discover what i am to do here on this Earth. I have wasted so much time. Hmmm.....what a mind screw.

( I do not have any friends around to talk to so I am writing into the cyber world on a forum with faceless caring people,Thank You!!!)

Mizzuno

Orion12

I just joined this site this evening. I have 128 sober days and I'm alone this evening and feeling desperate for my drug of choice! Can relate to feeling like I am in the middle of the ocean. The best to you . . . A faceless caring person! Kindly . . .

Mizzuno

Great! We can hang out in the middle of the ocean together. We will sing "The road to Nowhere," loudly and obnoxiously until we reach our destination, wherever that may be.

Anna

I also had disconnected from everything during my drinking years and felt absolutely and completely lost. I never felt more alone that in the early days of recovery. I knew I had to reconnect with my spiritual self in order to recover and to live. Finally when I stopped and was quiet, I could hear the tiny voice that was my soul. And, I ignored all the thoughts running through my mind and was able to listen to the soft, quiet voice that would always keep me path, following my soul's purpose.

janiebluebird

I feel like this often, too. I enjoy stories like "Into The Wild" where the guy is basically leaving the industrialized world behind because he doesn't believe in it. Real life does seem like one big rat race game a lot of the time to me.

When I read Life of Pi, before the movie had come out, I could feel his loneliness and despair while he was out, alone on a raft in the middle of the ocean...well, with a tiger. The things about that book that helped me was his journey to finding God under such hopeless circumstances. It really are the challenging and confusing times that can either bring out the best in us or the worst. Try to quiet your mind and find strength. I believe that there is a light at the end of every tunnel, but it sometimes requires patience to get there. I'm going through a bit of a rough patch myself, but I am grateful to be sober today. If I was drinking I would only be digging a bigger hole for myself. Things are going to get better. Little by little try to make positive changes in your life and at some point the right opportunity is going to appear, the question will be whether or not you're prepared for it.

Its okay to feel lost sometimes. I think we all do at points.

Mizzuno

Yes, that quiet time is necessary. When I sit and look within, I feel like my soul is hurting. I sense that I am not home. This is true for me. I am a spiritual being having a human experience.

least

When I feel disconnected I try to stay busy, or do something for someone else. It helps me to help someone else.

BEAUTIFULIFE

Yes, I know that feeling, very well.
I had it all together, sober 12 years and decided to give it another whirl, for 5 more years.
Had to pretend I had it all under control....until people started seeing me, not so "in control", so Ive decided to take back control and stop once again.

I only drank weekends for the most part, so this FIRST weekend was a big one.

I made it!!

welcome my friend, xo

2granddaughters

Like where it says in Step 2 "restore us to sanity". My first question was "What the hell is that ??"

I never did take well to sober, sane, serene ... but it's getting to be habit forming.

Hang in there.

All the best.

Bob R

Mizzuno

Right. First things first. Easy does it.....yada yada yada....Kidding! I have always felt this way even as a child....I am an Alien. I might just try to build a space ship that will get me home! .....Now i know why I wanted to take that welding class.

soberclover

I think feeling a little lost and disconnected is normal during the recovery process. It sucks at times but once I accepted that this really is normal for a person getting their life back together and figuring out who they were...it was easier for me. I'm learning to listen to what I need...to sleep, eat, be busy, find someone to talk to, to write, to walk, a cup of coffee, to take on a challenge...that type of thing. Thank you for your honest post!

Hevyn

Mizz - All I can say is, I completely relate to how you feel. We think we're the only ones - but we are not. The surreal feeling I had when I first quit improved greatly as time went on. I'm still rather strange but more comfortable with it.

deeker

Call On God, he will have an answer for you, it may not come over night but it will come. He loves you very much and he is going to use your whole life as a testimony to others, the pain, the confusion, well everything.

If you let him, he will take that life of yours, take your recovery and use it to help others. I truly believe that!

You may be on a raft somewhere, but the Lord walked on water and he can get to you.

Dee74

Don't over think this Miz - all any of us need to do is get through today - let tomorrow take care of itself until you get there

D

FreeFall

I think we have to replace the addiction with something that feeds our soul to have it all make sense and balance out. We robbed from our souls and selves while drinking/drugging so we have to counteract that.

You could start by writing down as many things as you can think of that will bring you joy. Join the site Pinterest It is full of ideas, creative people, things that may inspire you and help you find your direction.

Find some inspiring books to get you going. I like anything by Sark. If you're not familiar with her, her books are worth a look. End the Struggle and Dance with Life by Susan Jeffers was great too.

Spend some time around children. They are comfortable being aliens and know how to enjoy life.

Mizzuno

Im going to call on every spiritual being in the heavens for an answer. I am sure that one of them will show me or guide me or busy me with my purpose. Todays Purpose: Make sandwiches and feed the hungry tourists here in great ol' gold country....YEE HAW!

Mizzuno

Dee I am a fan of yours!! Who would I be without over thinking this, Dee? Okay, no over thinking. I will not think about it any longer this evening.

mecanix

To me life seems to be more about the journey than the destination , although i try to be prudent about tomorow, today is what i have to deal with and get through if there is to be tomorow .
I'm one of 7 billion people here on earth the whole of my life will probably be completely ineffectual and mean nothing , this does not mean it's not worthwhile and i live it as fully as i can percive it .

As for direction i find it better to let life guide me , to take a leap of faith and to give myself fully to it , someone once called me fearless maybe this is what the meant ?

Living without fear or worry is a gift of my sobriety , maybe you'll see it like that too

Bestwishes, M

Dee74

You can be a you who thinks less and relaxes more? LOL

D

Mizzuno

Spaceship welding??