SoberHappyHour

Hi everyone. I'm new here but I've been sober since December 10th. I still went out with friends at first and didnt drink but now I don't go out at all and feel like I should find sober friends. I'm just curious as to what happened with you all and your old drinking friends. Do you still hang out with them when they drink or how did you stop hanging out with them ? When I think about it now I didn't do much of anything with them if it didn't involve drinking which is why I have not done much lately. Thank you all for reading and in advance for any replies.

Eddie2010

My friends have always been a mix of drinkers and non-drinkers, so it doesn't look that odd if I'm there drinking a diet coke or something. If I'm at dinner with a couple of friends and they're both drinking, I still just order an iced tea. If they're not pleased, then I'll just plan something with others who don't care.

SoberHappyHour

Well the fact that you have some sober friends must have made the transition to sobriety a little easier for you. All of my old friends drink so makes things a little more difficult for me unfortunately.

Dee74

Hi SHH

I had a lot of old friends I'd moved away from when I started drinking in earnest, so I reconnected with a few of them - I also made new friends where the common bonds were things other than drinking.

Do you have any hobbies or interests?

D

SoberHappyHour

Thanks for the reply, dee. Yea I enjoy playing and watching sports, exercise, movies, and the beach.

Dee74

I found new friends through my interests.

It may be a little soon to be around drinkers for you yet but I found most people, if they drink at all, drink at levels I found amazingly low...unlike the people I gravitated to at the end of my drinking days....

D

SoberHappyHour

Makes a lot of sense. I think I might have to go to my local park and play some basketball and spend more time at the gym as well. I just wanted to fill my night time activities with new sober people during the time that I used to drink.

LadyinBC

It is quite common to discover you have nothing in common with your drinking friends once you get sober. I keep people around me who are supportive in my sobriety. Out of all my friend I have 3 left. They are true friends and those are the people we should keep and cherish.

SoberHappyHour

Thanks Lady, you make great points and I think that is a wonderful suggestion. Appreciate your reply !

sobersonja

I was just reading your problem about no sober friends in recovery.I know that can be lonely,especially in the evening or weekends. I don't know if you have tried AA or not,but I have found that some AA meetings get together after the last meeting on the weekends and do something like go out to eat or maybe go to each others house and play cards etc..Also AA usually have special get togethers on every holiday.Here we celebrated New Years with all the AA people from different AA meetings in our county coming together .We had a banquit with everyone bringing something,lots of yummy food. Then speaker meeting where someone who has some sobriety tells their stories.And a live band where we danced until 2:00a.m. kept me from being lonely and I meet sober people.Just a thought. I don't know about you but I really did not feel too social with out a drink or drug so I felt comfortable learning to do those things like dancing around others who fell like me or know how I'm feeling. Just a thought. Good luck to you.

llastchance8

As Dee said, you may not need to go out and desperately search for sober friends.. However, if you pick some hobby or interest, you will come across some good people and chances are , they will be sober as they might be pursuing a particular hobby seriously and have no desire for alcohol. That is what happened to me.. I found some good friends through my new hobbies and interests. Also , the advantage was , not having any past co-relation when enjoyable moments with old friends were with Alcohol only.. The association of enjoyable moments will change with new friends made through new hobbies. All the best.

hypochondriac

I didn't cut any ties with my drinking friends but I did severely limit my contact with them. Some friends I was able to morph our relationship and start meeting them for coffee and doing stuff in the day when they wouldn't be drinking anyway. My biggest drinking buddy though was someone I went to gigs with. I am not sure what will happen there. I still like going to gigs but at the moment I am still not vastly keen on going out at night. We've met up 4 or 5 times since I quit and after an initial confusion period he has been largely respectful of my sober status. Thing is I get tired and a bit blah after he's had 5 pints plus and starts making less sense. I'd much rather go to gigs with at least slightly more sober people. I don't have many sober friends but like Dee says, the majority of them drink very little, and if I stick to more daytime activities it doesn't effect me anyway. I am not sure if I will ever enjoy going out to pubs at night again or if I will always see it as a challenge. Only time will tell. Other than that I feel like I get enough social interaction going to work and walking the dog

bigsombrero

I isolated myself with drinking, so by the time my problem had become clear, most of my core relationships were already busted. I've got together with a few old friends of mine, and they are supportive but at the same time it's not the same. I am facing the same challenges you are right now - trying to make new friends. It's pretty tricky when you're 37 !!! I have met a few people through sobriety, but mainly I am interested in clicking with new people through volunteer work, exercise, and so forth. I hope you find some helpful info and feel free to share your experiences!

IreLander

I have a couple of friends that are heavy drinkers, but I also have a very close circle of friends that although they like to drink sometimes, they are not alcoholics. They also know that I have a problem and will not drink around me if I ask them not to, they know my history very well. Im very lucky to have that I think.

IreLander

I probably will not hang around the heavy drinkers at all I think.

nigey1

I found by the end of my drinking I was associating with all the heavier drinkers at work and socially.

I moved about 50 klm away from work, in part to get a fresh start, figured then I couldnt back out. Almost 9 months now.

Interstingly I found some of the acquaintances that were light drinkers I am now seeing a bit more of. Amazed at how little some people actually drink and why they bother with just a couple. I managed to for a while but find it easier to just not drink. Doesnt bother me if people have a couple of beers around me as long as they're not getting trashed, or I just leave.