How should I feel toward my sponsor
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: salt Lake
Posts: 488
How should I feel toward my sponsor
I'll make this as short as I can.
Someone I met about two years ago was the person who helped me get into rehab. i am forever grateful to her for that. Then she became my sponsor. I was cautioned not to pick someone that how only 18 months of sobriety but thought she would be good.
She was ok, we were good to each other and attended aa meetings together. Kinda worked step 5 together. Went for coffee a lot. I think sometimes I picked her up more than she me, but that made me fel good. She relapsed by cutting, then drinking, and I helped her through that. Her relapses were brief.
Then I relapsed (one-day relapse). She was supportive. Then I relapse two more times (one-day relapses) over the next few months.
She texted me and told me she was totally stepping away and then she stopped talking to me. She went out of state and I didn't hear from her (other than "oh I am so happy that I found a new bf" posts on FB) until today.
She text to say she is moving to Florida and would like to get together before she leaves.
I have had some resentment toward her, but in a lot of ways I guess her leaving me was a good thing and I am excited to find a dedicated sponsor that is willing to seriously work the steps with me.
But I still have resentment and I am not sure how to handle going to coffee with her.
Suggestions?
Someone I met about two years ago was the person who helped me get into rehab. i am forever grateful to her for that. Then she became my sponsor. I was cautioned not to pick someone that how only 18 months of sobriety but thought she would be good.
She was ok, we were good to each other and attended aa meetings together. Kinda worked step 5 together. Went for coffee a lot. I think sometimes I picked her up more than she me, but that made me fel good. She relapsed by cutting, then drinking, and I helped her through that. Her relapses were brief.
Then I relapsed (one-day relapse). She was supportive. Then I relapse two more times (one-day relapses) over the next few months.
She texted me and told me she was totally stepping away and then she stopped talking to me. She went out of state and I didn't hear from her (other than "oh I am so happy that I found a new bf" posts on FB) until today.
She text to say she is moving to Florida and would like to get together before she leaves.
I have had some resentment toward her, but in a lot of ways I guess her leaving me was a good thing and I am excited to find a dedicated sponsor that is willing to seriously work the steps with me.
But I still have resentment and I am not sure how to handle going to coffee with her.
Suggestions?
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
My suggestion would be to just be honest. Lying or trying to hide things from the past won't do either of you any good at all. If you don't feel you can be earnest or any good will come from the meeting, just tell her so and don't meet.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
Kitty,
I am not sure I would expect my sponsor to support me if I relapsed several times. To some extent, I help keep my sponsor sober. I have noticed that even the group has trouble supporting someone who will not quit nor try the program.
I guess that's why they call it going "out."
I am not sure I would expect my sponsor to support me if I relapsed several times. To some extent, I help keep my sponsor sober. I have noticed that even the group has trouble supporting someone who will not quit nor try the program.
I guess that's why they call it going "out."
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