mwk1981

Everything is a mess and out of control. I've lost everything my wife and I have due to gambling and drinking. I first came into the rooms at 15, left when I was 19, started drinking again at 21. Now I'm 31, and this past Friday, I found myself at the airport, having gambled away everything my wife and I have. I called my father, who is in the program and has been sober for 30 years. He got me a ticket back east to where he lives, and I've been here since early Saturday. I'm flying back to Seattle in about 3 hours, and am just so terrified of what's waiting for me on the other coast. I've never been to a meeting out there, but I printed out a schedule this morning and highlighted ones close to me. My wife wants me to get help and I want to get better.

If anyone has thoughts on good meetings in Seattle, or is even just willing to talk, I'd appreciate it. I've never felt so scared and helpless as I do right now.

thank you for listening. i'm michael, and i'm an alcoholic, a compulsive gambler and any other number of things.

Dee74

Hi mwk1981

no idea about Seattle at all - but I wanted to welcome you to SR

D

Coldfusion

Thanks for joining SR, Michael!

At this time, you're on the plane so I hope you had a smooth and sober flight.

You will certainly be welcome at any AA meeting you choose--I have found that to be true in Chelan, Bellingham, and here on Orcas Island.

FWIW yesterday's Seattle Times had an article about a survey of attitudes all over the nation. Folks up here are really pretty normal, which is surprising when you consider the weather and our football team. However, we are more secular than other places--many people feel AA is too religious, so I don't think you'll find that here. We are also more likely to fall in love after a one-night stand.

Welcome home!

mwk1981

Thank you folks. If any of you are in recovery and attend meetings in Seattle, I would love to connect and get recommendations on good meetings there. I've never felt this kind of bottom, and desperately want to be restored to sanity.

Coldfusion

Mike, a forum member from Seattle does a lot of AA daily posts, but always later at night. I think you need a minimum number of posts before you can send a Personal Message...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...newby1961.html

mwk1981

thank you for that info cold confusion. i'm on this flight right now and i have to be honest, this is tough. i'm so terrified of what i'm flying back to...

Hevyn

Welcome mwk. You aren't alone. We've all been through frightening times thanks to our drinking. Try not to be so hard on yourself. The main thing is you are seeking help and you want to reclaim your life. It can be done, and you never have to go back to that dark place.

Please let us know how you make out when you get home. We care about you.

mwk1981

thank you hevyn as well. i did something that i have to fess up to involving taking things that weren't mine...and an awful lot of them. and they will be returned, but having that conversation is completely terrifying me. along with waiting on when my wife will let me back in and when i can see my 3 1/2 year old.

nobody knew how bad it was with me. i kept it a secret from everyone, so i think everyone is not only disapointed and sad (and worried) but utterly, utterly shocked. at the moment i'm sitting on an airplane flying back to everything after running back east to be with my family (dad 30 years in recovery) for 3 days. and i'm just filled with fear, anxiety, regret, sadness...

Coldfusion

It will be good for you to get to a meeting with those who understand your fear, anxiety, regret, and sadness. You are not alone, and your wife is not alone in her anguish either.

Off to a meeting...

Hevyn

mwk - I confess to you that I did similar things just to be able to keep drinking. I betrayed the trust I had at work, and with my family. Shameful behavior, yes - but please don't dwell on that. You have to acknowledge what happened - but try to be kind to yourself. That person who did those things isn't the real mwk.

Just think how relieved you'll feel once you get this behind you. You never have to put yourself in that position ever again.