Chunt297

Hi everyone this is the 3 time I will have written this out lol. Well my drug of choice was heroin and I was living everyday with a death wish. I stopped using everyday in March 2012 and not used at all since 29th July 2012. I can honestly say I don't want to use anymore at all but I can never say never. I am in the best place I have been in for years but it has come at a price. I am not complaining, however I don't see anyone I call a friend or leave the house much anymore. Now I am clean I would like to find a girlfriend, but it has been a long time and its not something I am very good at. I think the main reason I used was to forget about girls an to make it so no girl would have wanted me anyway. So I have 2 problems now, 1 how do I find a girl now after being a junkie for past 5 years or more. 2 if I try and fail I am scared of falling back into a black hole, an ending up in a really bad place again. So I would be greatful to hear from anyone an everyone who can relate or has any advise for me. Cheers !!!!!

Devushka25

Congrats on your recovery so far!!! That's so awesome!

Honestly, I don't think my advice will be very "fun" advice but I would say to keep waiting. I sort of look at addictions like bad or abusive relationships. They say when you break up with someone, it should take roughly half the amount of time you were with them to be truly over them, even if you start a new relationship with someone else.
Now, I'm not saying you should wait 2.5 years (half your addiction time) before finding a gf. But definitely give yourself more time than you have. Good relationships take a lot of work and can be mentally taxing at times. You want to be not only in a good place mentally but be really strong in that place before you embark on a relationship.

If you're lonely how bout start by just making a new friend? See how it goes nurturing a friendship with someone. And when you've mastered that, move onto romantic relationships? If you're not looking for a serious relationship but just casual female companionship then date around but keep it light.

I would suggest looking up classes, events, volunteer opportunities in your area that interest you. You'll meet ppl with similar interests and if you don't, atleast u did something with your time you'll feel good about.

FatallyUncool

Hey Chunt,

I can really relate to this. I second what Devushka said. Start slow by meeting some clean people and making new friends and getting to know them and letting them know you. Consider going to an NA meeting and introducing yourself. Don't risk falling back into that black hole yet. It's not worth it.

I'm trying to start dating too, and I'm trying to follow my own advice.