ynneJ

I'm only 16 and i feel controlled by alcohol. Over the last 18 months I've been trying to cope with the aftermath of being raped, and i resorted to alcohol. AT first i only drank now and again but now i'm constantly either drinking or thinking about drinking. I feel so alone with it having to hide this from everybody around me, my parents have no idea how much i drink either. I'm constantly blacking out and passing out from drinking. I feel stuck i absolutely hate drinking but i feel i need it. I really have no idea what to do anymore.

flutter

THIS (posting here) is a major step. I'm so very sorry for what you have gone through. Stay close to us, we may not have had your exact experience, but a lot of us come from troubled times, awful events, and long histories of using drugs or alcohol to cope with life. We also have many many years of shared sober time, and many of us are recovered from addiction. Please keep reaching out, you really aren't as alone as you might feel sweetie. Have you talked to a counselor about the rape?

ynneJ

Thanks for replying and no i havent spoke about it.

Received

That's a heavy burden to carry all on your own, ynneJ.

As was mentioned, many of us have gone through troubled times and awful events.

Have you considered speaking to a school guidance counselor about what has happened or a counseling service for survivors of rape?

mecanix

Hey ynneJ ,
Thats a lot of big stuff to be dealing with . rape is something that really needs to be talked about with a professional councellor .
I know the first instinct is to usually try and forget about it and move on , blott it out with drink and drugs but it's not a very good stratergy for dealing with stuff .

If you're in the UK Childline was set up for people up to 18 as a strong support to people just like you 0800 11 11 , if not then a Dr , police woman or respected teacher would be good , i know in the UK we have specialist police officers trained to help .

Please reach out ,

Bestwishes, M

Twobitts

Agreed, your posting here is a huge step. Utilize the support here. Also if in the US you can call 211. I believe it is national now and will allow you to speak to someone (anonymously if you like) about you experience or they can connect you to a local resource. Take care of yourself!

artsoul

Welcome ynneJ -

I'm so very sorry for what you've gone through. I agree with the others that you can't deal with this alone and I'm glad you reached out today. We all know what it's like to get caught in a vicious cycle of drinking, thinking it helps us feel better. It can ruin your life.

I hope you're able to talk to your parents - you need their love and support right now. It's the hardest thing in the world to tell the people we love that we have a problem.... we feel so ashamed and worry about their reaction. But it's the best thing we can do. This isn't your fault and I'm sure your parents want only the best for you.

We're here to listen and support you in whatever way we can.

Cleopatra1

hello ynnej,,i agree with the above wise posters,, you need to talk to someone,,you poor lovey,,and then maybe you can work on yr drinking.
i am sending cyber hugs to you,,but hope you do get some help,,reach out , there is help there.
hugs cleo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ynneJ

Thanks alot everybody its just nice to know im not alone on this.

soberclover

I am so proud of you for being so young and reaching out for help! I work in a high school as a counselor and I know how hard it is for you! I hope you find an adult to talk to; you don't need to do this alone.

Jeni26

ynneJ-you are the same age as my daughter, and I cannot bear to think of you suffering alone like this.
The rape happened 18 months ago, you were a child.

Please please tell someone.

Drinking won't help you, it will just make you ill and more anxious.

This isn't going to go away until you get some help. Take that step. Speak to someone you trust, your parents, a teacher perhaps?

I'm thinking of you xxx

Pamel

Sorry, but I WISH you were alone There are 1,000,000+ of us!!!!! ...so... you have a lot of people who understand...

Many hugs

Dee74

Welcome ynneJ

I'm sorry for what you've been through - but I'm glad you've found us.

There's an amazing amount of support here and understanding - I think you've had some stellar advice here here

I think it's important to talk to someone about what happened and how you've been trying to cope - are your parents approachable, or a teacher or counsellor at school...a family Dr?

There's also helplines to ring - someone mentioned you were in the UK?

Help after rape and sexual assault - Live Well - NHS Choices
Rape Crisis - England and Wales
Rape And Abuse Line - Home, rape helpline, abuse helpline, confidential helpline
SupportLine - Problems: Rape and Sexual Assault: Advice, support and information



D

mecanix

I mentioned IF she were in the UK
cheers Dee , M

Anna

Welcome, and you're definitely not alone.

As others have said, I hope you can confide in a school counsellor or your parents. This is difficult to get through and I'm so glad that you reached out and posted here.

vegibean

ynne, from someone who has experienced trauma, I can tell you that talking to a professional and/or asking for help is a great thing. I hope you can find someone to talk to. Have you tried any of the counselors at your school? How about trying an 800 number? I'm really sorry that you've been through this. Welcome to SR.

bemyself

ynne, I think you're brilliant for seeking help on this so young (I'm a crusty old bat of 57, and I wish I'd known to seek help for abuses and trauma many, many years ago).

The 'good' part for you is: you've already made the connection, in yourself, between your terrible rape experience and your drinking to self-medicate the ongoing pain / trauma from it. You are very mature.

You have a whole lifetime ahead of you, and it doesn't need to be perpetually clouded by addiction. SR is a great place to come,

hugs
Vic