bunny44

I've known for a while now that I am an alcoholic. But today the shame of the last week I can barely remember has brought me to this site. I must straighten up. I have 3 kids that don't deserve to have mommy passed out in the middle of the afternoon. I have to want to be better.

ReadyAtLast

welcome to SR bunny.This is a great site and the people here have helped me immensely.

Coldfusion

Welcome, Bunny!

You will find others here who have quit drinking for the same reasons.

Please explore and share!

Dee74

welcome to SR Bunny

SR really helped me turn my life around - I know we can help you do the same.

There's a ton of support here
D

CaiHong

Hi Bunny and welcome,
Do you have a plan to stay sober? This is the best decision you have ever made.
All the best
CaiHong

bunny44

@ CaiHong, I do not have a plan. I need to talk to my husband and let him know I'm ready. He has tried many times to make me understand I have a problem. I know he will be supportive. I just plan to not buy alcohol. And hopefully I can remember this shame when I am tempted to "just run to the store for a minute…"

YouRmySunshine

A plan & support, not to sound negative, just the real facts that have been presented to me during treatment & my AA meetings very few are able to fix this on their own. Most don't even begin to understand what is truly wrong until the really reach out & 1st ask, than accept help.

Sounds like you are coming to terms with this now. God Bless!

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR Bunny You'll find lots of support here. Come back often x

bunny44

I often go a few days without drinking. Usually after a bender and to give the 'appearance' to my family that I learned my lesson. But always there is a whisper in my mind planning the next drink. In a few days that will be the problem. I need to come clean to my husband first so he can help then.

He's been out of town on a trip. Every day leading up to his trip, the whisper was planning my drinking. I couldn't shut it off. Advise on getting rid of that would be appreciated!

Nonsensical

That whisper you hear in your head is known as your Alcoholic Voice. Mine talks to me all the time. There are several ways to deal with it. Look around the forums, you'll find a path to sobriety that works for you. You're absolutely in the right place.
11 days ago I drank enough to kill a normal person.
10 days ago I was ashamed and depressed and desperate, and I found this website.
Today was a darn fine day!

You can do this.

Rose123

I love that you say this because it so applies to me. I will echo you:
Sunday I blacked out for hours after drinking all day.
Monday I wanted to die physically and emotionally, I found this group.
Today was a darn fine day!
Bunny, I'm new at this too. The people and advice on this board are nothing like I imagined existed. Visit here often. Let me know how your doing, please.

Bigndfan175

nons - nice post
bunny - glad you're here, hang in there and realize your AV wants you dead

Hevyn

Welcome bunny! We're happy you found us.

You'll find loads of support and encouragement here. We all understand how hard it is in the beginning - but you can do it.

bunny44

I'm sober, making dinner for my kids. I know I can handle today.

Thank you all. I don't want to die. Sometimes I thought it would be better for my kids if I did drink myself to death, by "accident".

For some reason all my life I have thought of living sober as having lost something.

Nonsensical

The bad news is that whisperer in your head tells lies.

The good news is you can ignore It.

Pondlady

Welcome Bunny,
I'm sure it feels good to cook a nice dinner for your children. It really is the simple things that make the difference.....reading to your children, getting them ready for bed and remembering it all in the morning.

It seems like you're losing something when giving up drinking, but what you'll receive in return is beyond compare.

bunny44

Something inherent in the phrase "give up alcohol". I'm going to try to use phrases like "removing toxins from my body". Anyone know a bender/hardhangover cure. Other than time

Pondlady

Alcohol really is like a toxin to us - good idea to put it that way. Plenty of fluids and rest

CaiHong

Bunny, my sponsor said to me the other day something that really struck home, "alcohol is not just a bad habit , it goes deeper than that".

I can't tell you how many times I would try to moderate, weak attempts to give up without success. I visit this website at least once a day and follow the AA program, I am over 20 months sober. The obsession to drink has left me, such a relief not to have that AV in my head.

It has got easier as time goes on, when I get down I look at what I am doing in recovery and see how I can improve my program and ride it through.

Make sobriety your number one priority and you won't fail. There will come a time when you will see the absurdity of drinking and never want to go back there again.

Hang in there

Love
caiHong

bunny44

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nonsensical

11 days ago I drank enough to kill a normal person.
10 days ago I was ashamed and depressed and desperate, and I found this website.
Today was a darn fine day!

You can do this.

Posted by Rose123
I love that you say this because it so applies to me. I will echo you:
Sunday I blacked out for hours after drinking all day.
Monday I wanted to die physically and emotionally, I found this group.
Today was a darn fine day!
Bunny, I'm new at this too. The people and advice on this board are nothing like I imagined existed. Visit here often. Let me know how your doing, please.

And me:
7 days ago I went to the store
2 days ago I woke up and for the first time 'woke up'
I am hopeful and sad and physically hurting
But today I am not drinking and it is a Damn fine day!