Momzo

Ok...I kicked out my ABF before Christmas and he just picked up his stuff last weekend. I didn't see him..didn't want to. Is it because I'm scared of how I'll feel? These past two months have been weird. One day I feel like I'm on top of the world..next day I want to hide under a rock. And why am I ticked that he isn't trying to get me back even though I don't want him back? Crazy..I know. I know it takes time to heal. How much time though? I don't cry anymore. I'm just mad that he never tried or seem like he cares. Oh...last Saturday when he came to get his stuff out of the garage he called me yelling..swearing...accusing me of stealing his wrench set and air compressor. I started crying and hung up. Can you believe that he actually texted me back saying 'don't you ever hang up on me again' ...really? Last reminder of why I did what I did. I just don't like feeling this resentment towards him. Any comments, encouragement, hugs, etc....are welcome 😄

LexieCat

******{Momzo}}}}

Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal. You don't want to stay feeling like that forever, and you don't need to.

Your life will be so much more peaceful without the chaos around you. It takes time to get used to that.

Just remember, it doesn't matter what he says or does. YOU are the winner, here. He is a sad drunk, pathetically trying to put you in the wrong to make himself feel better.

dollydo

I understand, it always amazes me how petty and nasty they are. He probably pawned the compressor and doesn't remember doing it.

Don't let him upset you, he is not worth it.

Sending support your way!

Momzo

Dollydo...you're probably right on him pawning the compressor! I bought him expensive coins and a rare $50 gold certificate and I checked the safe and those gifts were gone. He has bought tools and a welding mask with his company credit card and sold those items. I was furious with him and he didn't think he did anything wrong! Disgusting. Horrible dishonest behavior!

KittenBoo

Wow Momzo the more I read this forum (and I just got here) the more and more I feel better...I mean, I know that's odd to say. I say it because I hear what you say and what many are saying here and I'm like "yes, that's me too".

Alcoholics are all about themselves. I've seen it my whole entire life and I have been on this earth plane for 38 years. It's sad, but they are wrapped up in "me, me, me" world with no regard for you, you, you.

All we can each do is look out for ourselves, try to get over them and move on and support each other in our endeavors to get our sanity back as we slowly live healthy lives free from their total bs.

Regain (you), Renew (you) and Rejoice (in you!)

I'm following my own advice here, believe me, I am. for your post reminding me why I came here and why I am interacting.

Momzo

I love this site! Such wonderful people that really do care and understand 😻

Thank you so much!

Rosiepetal

It's not crazy to feel the way you do.
It is quite normal to feel the ups & downs for a while too.
Just try to focus on one day at a time & building a happier healthy life for you.
You're right , it is all about them & until they give up the booze they won't even see their own behaviour.
Hugs, you're doing well.
:ghug3

Recovering2

Everything you feel is normal. Sucks..but it's normal. We go through the normal stages of grief when dealing with this. Just know that you're moving forward, and you're going to come out the other side happier and stronger.

Now that his stuff is out, are you NC??? When I read what he texted, I thought "Damn straight I won't hang up on you again....because I won't pick the phone up when you call!!!"

Sending you a big Hug.

Momzo

Yes...NC...however, there is one item that he didn't pick up that I forgot to put in garage (not on purpose...trust me) so I texted him on Sunday to let him know that item is in the garage. I do NOT want to talk to him or see him. Text is easy because I don't have to respond

ReflectingOnMe

Sending encouragement your way. It must be great to have (almost) everything of his gone!

ZiggyB

I'm sorry Momzo.
I went through some horrible experiences with my axbf too. He did his share of yelling, cursing, and insulting me when we broke up then tried telling ME I was the mean and spiteful one. So much drama... someday you will be over the ordeal of this and be glad he's not around anymore.

Anon12

Sorry you're going through this - I got a lot of anger from X after we split over irrational things that were his fault. I had a lot of anger back and resentment. I'm getting past the resentment but it's hard. You sound like you are being smart with contact you have. Like you say, everytime he does or says something selfish or volatile, he's just reinforcing you made the right decision.

bananapancakes

I just wanted to say I'm also separated from my husband and have mood swings where I feel happy and empowered one moment and hysterical and depressed the next. Its part of the process. My therapist says its a mourning phase.

Like others are saying, when he makes you feel bad, remember that it means you made the right decision to separate. You need to take care of yourself.

::hugs::