HappyDestiny3

Wednesday, February 6, 2013 You are reading from the book Touchstones
Behind an able man there are always other able men.
—Chinese proverb

Most of us have had a strong desire in our lives to "do it ourselves." We have had the idea that strength and independence meant we should not rely on or receive help from others. Now, in recovery, we are learning a far more mature and time-honored principle. We find strength to develop to our fullest as members of a community. Maybe we never learned how to ask for help. Perhaps we haven't learned yet how to accept it. It may still be difficult to express our gratitude for the help that brought us where we are today.

In recovery, we get many lessons about these things. If we are actively growing, we will get help from others and give it too. The rewards of recovery give us ample reasons and opportunities to express our gratitude. We are no longer loners. Now we have a network of friends who truly enjoy and enhance each other's strength.

Today, I pray for help in learning how to share my strength and to appreciate the strength of others.

paul99

This really spoke to me, as I was pretty much a loner for a very long time. I too thought asking for help was a sign of weakness, of low character strength. It was a kick to my ego when I came to treatment and AA, asking for help. I knew I couldn't go on trying to do it myself.

I have since seen the value in friendship and asking for (and giving) help. Asking for help is a sign of strength. No man conquered a nation on his own. I shouldn't think that I could tackle my alcoholism on my own. Both are formidable tasks. Today I truly do appreciate the other men and women in my life who have helped me on my journey.

Fernaceman

I was a loner, too, Paul. I think that's pretty common. Feeling like an outsider even when we were from all other perspectives a part of something. It just led me to more isolation and allowed my disease to create an even wider gap between me and God.

But back to the reading, asking for help...I didn't like to ask for help because I was on a sick quest to do it on my own in some form or another. Be it getting sober, or finding that magical combination of drugs or alcohol that would finally "work" and allow me to feel the release of anxiety and worry while remaining free of all the consequences. I looked for that for a long time. I probably would still be looking if God hadn't put things into motion for me and allowed me to finally see the simple, easier, softer way through the program and fellowship.

HappyDestiny3

Hey guys since there are no coincidence's in AA, I can post after you two..

I am the 3rd guy in this bed.. I was a loner also.. I find it hard still to ask for help, but I just keep working on working on me..

Thanks for the posts guys..

CaiHong

I am still trying to strike the happy medium of not depending on other people's wisdom/advice and following my own gut feelings.

I am now leaning to the latter and feeling good about it. This is the second go at my venture and I am following my own lead.

I don't like to ask for help and find assistance that is freely given is usually not the help that I need if that makes sense and borders on interferring.

I did ask my sponsor for help a few months ago and she was fantastic, I felt uncomfortable doing so but she really saved my ass. I was so glad when she needed my help I was able to do so.