ClearLight

If this is ok to discuss I am curious.
When they say "working the steps" - what does that mean?
But that I mean specifically what does a person do to work a step.
For instance - the first step. Seems like a momentary thing. You just say, "Yeah, I can't drink anymore 'cause when I do my life gets ruined."
What more does it take to work that step? Writing an essay? Making a speech?
Not being facetious - just am curious.

Natom

There's several ways. One is by using the step working guide which is questions you answer. Or the way I'm doing it which involves reading various literature and just writing about it. Either way it's very therapeutic.

Natom

freshstart57

Hi, ClearLight. I see you have posted this same q on the 12 Step support forum, and I am sure that you will get the advice you are looking for there.

peanut44

My sponsor would give me reading material with each step and there is some good workbooks too.

Making amends was the hardest to do but the most rewarding!!=)

Fallow

I always wondered the same thing.

The steps and what to do are outlined in the Big Book. You are correct. There is nothing to step 1 but making an admission. Actually 2 admissions .

Step 2 same kinda thing.. We came to believe..
Doesnt have to take long but I can complicate anything.

Step 3 we make a decision.
Complicate again

Writing 'work' really starts on step 4.

Some sponsors have all kinds of stuff they ask sponsees to do that is not outlined in the book. If it is not in the book its not the program of AA.

Not saying those other requests cannot be helpful just that they are not actually part of the steps as outlined in AA.

paulokes

The first step isn't an action step. If you're done drinking you might not need to do any more loitering. It did help me to be told and come to understand certain things about Alcoholism and my condition, I needed the help of an experienced person to do this.

In fact, it's much easier to find someone who's walked this walk before and ask these questions in person. Most folks would be only too happy to help if asked.

I've found I had to ask, then walk the walk, then SLOWLY I came to know what this was about. It's not the kind of understanding you can give someone on a plate, otherwise believe me I would. This spiritual life is not a theory - if you want what we have, do what we did.

Take care

P

sugarbear1

My sponsor has a simplified process for the first time through the steps...

Step 1 we define what alcoholic/alcoholism means to us and how it has impacted our life

Step 2 answer "Are you willing to believe or are you willing to set aside your old beliefs that a power greater than you might exist?"

Step 3 "Do you think the steps will help you and if so, can you decide to be under the care of a power greater than you so you can move on through the steps?" insert the step 3 prayer or a version of this

(there's a little more to the conversation involved with these 3 steps, but it revolves around sharing with the sponsee the sponsor's experience)

Step 4 as outlined in the book and easily explained by the sponsor--being thorough and honest is a key here

Step 5 is a lengthy discussion....really ego deflation and learning how the sponsee's behavior was or was not useful to others (other stuff put in here, too, lots more sharing of what the sponsor has experienced)

Step 6 is an hour of reflection to make sure nothing has been left out

Step 7 is a prayer and if one is willing enough to work through the previous 6 steps, willingness to have what is necessary to be removed, so be it...(more discussion)

Step 8 a list starting with step 4 and adding institutions money is owed to

Step 9 is another lengthy discussion with step 8 being put on a Now, Later, Not Yet, or Not At All List

Step 10 is discussed as to how to do this daily (also in the book)

Same with Step 11

and a discussion of how to do Step 12 wherever one is

All of these are a process and become a little more the next 2 times with the third time having the role of the sponsor defined so that the sponsee can begin to sponsor others by the end of the first year--also each new time there is emphasis on another aspect of one's life......

Step 3 came to life for me the first time I got through step 7 and began working 10-12 in my life! We break these up to 2 days in a two week period (step 5 lengthy discussion and step 9 lengthy discussion).

So easy and yet such a profound of experience!

~We do not have to complicate those 12 steps nor make them painful~

miamifella

The sponsors I had did not work with sponsees until the fourth step. For me the steps involved a lot of self examination. When I got honest I realized that never really had the second step.

I now think figuring out how to work the steps IS in fact what the steps are. I am no longer in the program, but what I learned about myself in trying to work that second step has helped me a great deal in my recovery since.

sugarbear1

Miamifella, So sorry your sponsors didn't make the time to work with you on the first 3 steps. It's necessary, in my opinion, to guide one through ALL 12 steps.

Fernaceman

Thank you for your useful posts above, SB.

omegasupreme

The mechanics of step 1 can be displayed in three parts.

a)powerless after the first drink

b)powerless before the first drink

c)unmanageable life

a) Am i powerless after the first drink? Once I start drinking can I be certain EVERY time how much alcohol I will put in my body? Do I seem to lose control and go way past where I thought I'd end up. The Doctor's Opinion makes reference to an allergy to alcohol. What's an allergy? An abnormal reaction. So, do I react abnormally to alcohol? My mother can make a bottle of wine last long enough that the label fades and one can no longer tell what brand it was. She gets that little bitty dixie cup glass and puts just a couple drops over a few raspberries...and sips on it for hours. Is that me?

b) Okay, I've decided I'm powerless after the first drink. So no more right? Now I have knowledge that I cannot safely drink and control how much I will drink. So just don't drink right? Just say no! Put the plug in the jug! etc...What if in spite of all those I drink anyway? What if a doctor told me it will kill me to keep on and I drink anyway? What if the wifeypoo says she's done and I keep drinking? Coming off a long bender do I swear off booze and still drink again in spite of the horrific consequences? Do I, at certain times, not every time, but certain times, have no effective mental defense against the first drink? Anyone with a 100% effective mental defense against alcohol need not investigate the 12 steps. Am I powerless in this sense?

c) So, you got me. I'm powerless after the first drink and before the first drink...clearly this is making my life unmanageable! Wrong! The unmanageable business is an inside job that began long before I ever took a drink. It's that sense of separation, anxious apartness, etc...I experienced my whole life. Fear, misery, depression, unsatisfactory living, not feeling of use, unequipped to deal with life, ad infinitum...all that inside stuff that lead up to my mind telling me a little drink will ease this discomfort. So my mind convinces me one drink will take all that away but then my allergy kicks in and I'm off to the races.

Part a was easy for me to see no doubt. Part b took some humility...my ego likes to take credit for my sobriety. Part c...took some distance from booze to see all that stuff remanifest itself in my life sober, furthest away from a drink ever, to realize my life had been unmanageable long before the booze...the booze was my higher power to manage for me...and it did until it didn't. I suspect if you landed here it may be loosing it's efficacy in you as well.

lilac0721

First, this is a great thread, and I have often wondered this same thing. I've heard many different answers.

Second, thank you Omegasupreme for the step 1 overview and thank you Sugarbear for a simplified explanation of the whole 12 steps.

Lily

I love this thread. I only want to add that the first many times I went to thru the steps I only did them on paper, but not in my heart. I guess I never really believed it. I never really believed I was powerless, I never really believed God could and would, I never really believed that all of those resentments were really forgiven in my heart. I guess I cannot truly explain it any more than I can make the steps happen for anyone, but I pray for you that you can make them come to life for you, I pray you can find a sponsor who can take you through them and really help you to understand and work and change your life.

Tommyh

clear light
it is real simple
get a big book of Alcoholics Anonymous
start studying at the beginning
look for directions
follow those directions
you will get better
it is best to do this with a sponsor and meet weekly

muvinon

I'm sure the "assignments" vary from person to person. My sponsor had me read the BB and underline and mark the step. She had a small writing assignment for step 1, which I had honestly already taken the first 3 steps before I even showed up to AA.

On step 1, I simply wrote down every single consequence of my drinking that I could remember. I saw the value, although I had already conceded. It reinforced within me the sheer dangers of my alcoholism. My list was long.

Today when I share, I don't say I'm working on Step this or that. I tend to think more about the spiritual principles and what's involved in events, situations, daily living, etc. The only steps I consciously work are 10, 11, and 12. The rest are more a reminder....sort of an adjustment to my sails when I see I'm veering off.

The real point is I have a completely different way of approaching life and challenges and even the good stuff than I had before. It's a joy.

bbthumper

I found that having a sponsor with an understanding of the Big Book was quite helpful in gettting me through the steps. The steps as they are written are a summary of the program of action. They summarize the instructions which are laid out in the Doctors Opinion and the first 7 chapters of the book. To try and understand how to work the steps by just reading them off the wall just doesnt work IMO.
The first 3 steps as I understand them can be "worked" while sitting on a couch. There isnt any action involved.
The book tells us that "we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. This was the first step in the program of recovery."
Its more than just simply admitting we are alcoholic IMO. Its an understanding that unless I experience a complete psychic change, I will drink again no matter what. DO I really believe that I have no choice whether to drink or not? The Docs opinion and first 3 chapters are there to convince us of the first step; of our powerlessness; our loss of choice.
We want to be honest about that first step. If you have any doubts talk about them. We cant start a spiritual journey on a lie. This is where having a sponsor with a clear understanding of the book is incredibly helpful.

Best wishes to you!

paul99

Great responses so far.

Getting a sponsor who has worked the steps and had a spiritual awakening as a result of the steps will guide you through the nuts and bolts.

A spiritual awakening of your own awaits you as well.

ClearLight

Thanks for everybody's input!
I guess I'll be starting a new journey.
It's really very helpful to hear from people who have been there ahead of me.