Glad I was Sober for My Intervention
Glad I was Sober for My Intervention
I had an exam this morning, and called my wife and asked if she could meet me for lunch afterwards. I was hungry and suggested a nice little place near our house. When I got there I was surprised to see all of my children there as well. My two sons, daughter and daughter-in law, as well as my wife. They live 4 hours away. I knew something was up, but we had a nice lunch.
Once we got home the intervention I figured was coming started. Fortunately, I was sober. I don't think I would have been very receptive if I was drunk.
They were gentle with me, I think. I've never been interventioned before, so I don't really know. My son led the discussion, and I think he organized it. We talked for a long time, and I tried to be very honest about what I had done, what I thought about it, and what I am planning to do going forward. My daughter-in-law's father drank himself to death at age 52 just a few months ago. She had me in tears.
Many emotions about the experience:
Ashamed they found it necessary
Pride that they have the nerve to stand up to me
Joy at the love, because they still find me worth it
Motivation to stay dry
Fear that I'll fall off the wagon again
I love them so much. They make me want to be a better man.
Once we got home the intervention I figured was coming started. Fortunately, I was sober. I don't think I would have been very receptive if I was drunk.
They were gentle with me, I think. I've never been interventioned before, so I don't really know. My son led the discussion, and I think he organized it. We talked for a long time, and I tried to be very honest about what I had done, what I thought about it, and what I am planning to do going forward. My daughter-in-law's father drank himself to death at age 52 just a few months ago. She had me in tears.
Many emotions about the experience:
Ashamed they found it necessary
Pride that they have the nerve to stand up to me
Joy at the love, because they still find me worth it
Motivation to stay dry
Fear that I'll fall off the wagon again
I love them so much. They make me want to be a better man.
My plan is to make a plan. Which sounds like a cop out, but is meant to be quite serious. I have been to outpatient rehab and tried AA many times. I want to try something new, something I have confidence will be more effective. AA meetings will be part of it, though. It helps to be around people who understand. SR will be part of it also. Probably will do some one-on-one counseling as well. I am researching SMART and some of the other programs in the secular section.
I am highly resolved, but I have been highly resolved in the past. It wears off, I know this. So, as I explained to them, my plan is to come up with a plan in the next 2 weeks. That's about all the time I give myself. Or, at least, it's all the longer I currently trust myself.
Day 5 sober today. A damn fine day, indeed.
I am highly resolved, but I have been highly resolved in the past. It wears off, I know this. So, as I explained to them, my plan is to come up with a plan in the next 2 weeks. That's about all the time I give myself. Or, at least, it's all the longer I currently trust myself.
Day 5 sober today. A damn fine day, indeed.
How about inpatient rehab? Have you thought of that? It can be very helpful to get some time under your belt, to find out who you are and more about your disease and also dealing with others which can be very annoying at times. It's great practice in a safe enviroment.
Just throwing that in there as something to think and pray about. Yes, you can pray even if you don't believe in God. Atheists, agnostics as well as religious folk do this to tap into their spiritual side. It's not hog wash. It's necessary to your recovery. Recovery is very simple but not easy to do. Your brain will want to make it more complicated, which is why going to AA meetings doesn't appeal to you. Too easy. Won't help. I hope you will look into your ego and seek out humility because it helps so much to go into recovery humble.
You must be a wonderful person to have a family who stands by you and loves you so much. Be BOLD. Be corageous and Man Up! It's time. You are more ready than you know.
Just throwing that in there as something to think and pray about. Yes, you can pray even if you don't believe in God. Atheists, agnostics as well as religious folk do this to tap into their spiritual side. It's not hog wash. It's necessary to your recovery. Recovery is very simple but not easy to do. Your brain will want to make it more complicated, which is why going to AA meetings doesn't appeal to you. Too easy. Won't help. I hope you will look into your ego and seek out humility because it helps so much to go into recovery humble.
You must be a wonderful person to have a family who stands by you and loves you so much. Be BOLD. Be corageous and Man Up! It's time. You are more ready than you know.
The plethora of emotions seem normal. A sober response.
You seem like the kind of person that will try hard to change for the sake of your family. But ultimately change is a singular event. I hope their expressed love is the key you need.
I am happy for you!
You seem like the kind of person that will try hard to change for the sake of your family. But ultimately change is a singular event. I hope their expressed love is the key you need.
I am happy for you!
While nothing is off the table as far as recovery goes, in-patient treatment is unlikely for now. I have a delicate balancing act with my job at the moment. I am a recent hire, and in a 'probationary period'. This means they can be well rid of me without much cause. This period ends March 11, after which I have more latitude because helping me becomes easier than firing me. So, while my sobriety is my number 1 priority, remaining employed is a close second. Not to mention that I envision becoming unemployed could be quite bad for my sobriety. With a lot of free time my AV would be talking to me all day long. I don't relish the thought of spending the whole day alone with that SOB. Not yet, anyways. (I do entertain visions of beating his ass some day in the future.)
Nonsensical... I love pissing my AV off by staying sober. Other times I put him in a box and cover the air hole. Again there are more times I wind up playing whack-a-mole with it since it pops up in new places every time.
I have relatively new sobriety. Weeks. I had a bad event that percipitated the end of my drinking. I am not strong in it yet but working the issue.
You sound level headed in between bouts of craziness. Lol I can only assume that part based on you being an alcoholic.
Glad your family is there for you. I am going this alone. Well.... With over 100,000 other people on SR.
I have relatively new sobriety. Weeks. I had a bad event that percipitated the end of my drinking. I am not strong in it yet but working the issue.
You sound level headed in between bouts of craziness. Lol I can only assume that part based on you being an alcoholic.
Glad your family is there for you. I am going this alone. Well.... With over 100,000 other people on SR.
Go 49ers!!!
That was great to read...thank you so much for sharing. You are lucky to have a family that cares that much for you. Many of our kind don't have the job nor the family nor a place to stay. Gratitude is something we sometimes overlook. I can see that you are grateful for this opportunity. Take it, and I wish you the best of luck, regardless on which path you take.
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