devastated1

Hi. I haven't posted in a while but am just feeling worried and I know the people here can relate. My 23 yr. old son is an alcoholic. I may be wrong but I feel like he may be more severe than others. He has been arrested several times and gotten 2 DUIs. I made him leave our home because he wouldn't stop and gets out of control when he drinks. He binges and drinks until he blacks out. He moved out of state so I haven't seen him in a month but I talk to him. He used to binge but now it seems like his binge never ends. He is drinking vodka at work which I'm sure will get him fired. I talked to him earlier and he seemed very emotional and not ok. Then he doesn't answer his phone all night. I'm sure he is just passed out but I just have this horrible, worried feeling that he is going to die. It's such a bad feeling to watch your child destroy his life and not be able to do anything about it.

Pelican

I'm sorry about your son. Sending you (((hugs))) and support.

I have a 24 year old daughter who drinks. She has gotten better on the binge drinking. Her drinking seems to be more social and less extreme, but alcohol is still a big part of her lifestyle. We live far apart. I can't bear to watch their drama from up close. We talk about twice a month, and text about once a week.

She knows I love her.

I know she love me.

I let her live her life.

ReflectingOnMe

Sending warm thoughts your way. Peace be with you.

DreamsofSerenity

I truly don't think he is going to die. He's young, and hopefully is just on his way to rock bottom. The good thing about the situation (if there is one), is that he is on his own and not enabled! He's also young enough to get his life back on track. My 40 year old addict brother still lives in my mother's basement; he has no hope for recovery. I can understand your pain and worry. My heart goes out to you.*

LexieCat

Very, very hard with kids, isn't it? I'm glad you have a little distance from the insanity.

Have you been to Al-Anon? It can help to be with other people in the same situation, dealing with the same kinds of worries.

Has he ever expressed any concern of his own about his drinking?

devastated1

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers. He knows he has a problem but doesn't seem to want to stop even though he has lost a lot....license, girlfriend, friends, family. I had to put distance between us to cope and stop enabling. It's just hard.

HopefulmomtoD

I'm so sorry. I'm going through similar stuff with my 22 year old son. He's now around 24 days sober and working the program hard- has a sponsor and going to meetings daily. Time will tell if it lasts but he seems committed to sobriety. We had to really let him fall to get to this point.

FWIW, I think you are doing everything right. Hopefully he will get sick of living this way and you letting him hit bottom is the best way to help him. But, still, it is so very hard and painful.

inpieces314

Every addict has the capacity to recover.

Every addict is different as well. Even though one might seem worse than another, they can all end up in the worst place because of their addiction-dead.

BUT, every addict has a chance. They just need to realize it. It seems like your son has not reached his bottom yet. He will eventually. He is young. He is my age. I stopped drinking 4 months ago.

I hope I don't ever have to deal with a child's addiction, but I probably will. I am sorry for your pain, because I am sure it is unbearable at times. He doesn't mean to hurt you. He is sick. He can, and will, get better.

BlueSkiesAgain

Devastated - Please know I'm thinking of you. You have done all you know to do and he realizes where he is and he isn't ready to stop. As much as we want it for them they have to want it for themselves.

devastated1

It is good to hear from someone his age that there is hope. Right now it sure doesn't feel like it. It just always seems like craziness. Calls begging for money, fighting with people because he is so drunk..... What did it take for you to hit bottom? He has already lost his license, girlfriend, friends, jobs and some family. I feel like he will end up losing his freedom or his life. He doesn't seem to care about any of us.

HopefulmomtoD

I think you have to get to the point of acceptance. That's what I work on daily. When my son is at his worst, I tell myself he may not make it. He may die and I try and prepare myself for that knowing that I have done everything possible to help. In the end, its up to them. This is a terrible disease and some don't make it.

Then, to give myself some hope I read recovery stories. Some have been as low as your son and chosen to get sober. So, it does happen.

In the meantime, work on yourself and learning to be happy despite all of the pain with your son. (Believe me, I KNOW how hard this is ..... )