What did my expensive counselling session achieve?
What did my expensive counselling session achieve?
So, I went back to my addiction counsellor tonight. I hadn't seen him for two weeks because basically I'd been on a bender and hadn't showed up. Of course he charged me for the sessions I missed and I don't blame him for that. The session was relatively short. Basically he said you need to go to AA every day, embrace the programme, follow the steps and get a sponsor if you want to stay sober. Simple as that. So I ended up handing over a whole of money to hear something that I could have heard for free at any AA meeting. Indeed, I've heard it many times. I was at an AA meeting last night, in fact. Still, the best I can do now is to follow his advice and get myself to a meeting every day for the forseeable future. The idea does not exactly warm my heart at the moment but if the alternative is another horrible binge during which I put everything at risk, I better man up and make my decision.
I'm not against AA. It's been helpful. I had two different sponsors before but they both let me go when I couldn't stop relapsing. It's become a vicious circle. I don't feel I dare get another sponsor because I fear I am going to relapse again. But without the guidance and support of a sponsor, my chances of sustained recovery are reduced. It's been a week since my last drink and I have been to one meeting and to the counselling session tonight. Both helped. But I agree, it's not the same as having a real sponsor who I can trust.
Our best thinking got us to where we are so it may be advisable to listen someone else. The mind that caused the problem is unlikely to be the mind that fixes the problem.
When I started listening and doing what my addiction counselor and the old timers at AA suggested things started to get better. Although I have not talked to my addiction counselor in years I still do what the old timers suggest.
They have been sober a long time so they obviously know more than I do.
When I started listening and doing what my addiction counselor and the old timers at AA suggested things started to get better. Although I have not talked to my addiction counselor in years I still do what the old timers suggest.
They have been sober a long time so they obviously know more than I do.
I've had various different help from counsellors etc... none of which I paid for (lots of free stuff in the UK ) but really none of it could really do much without my conviction not to drink. My sis had a go at me though when I was complaining that they didn't seem to be helping. She said that lots of people get frustrated that counsellors don't immediately fix things because they don't realise that they have to do the actual work. I bet your addiction counsellor and a sponsor will both be really useful to you but ultimately the ball's in your court x
How about you let all the recovered/recovering people here be your 'pretend sponsor'? We will always be here to guide you no matter what happens. I do not want to tell you which recovery option would be best for you as thats for you to decide but there lots of them available. For me group meetings and 12 step programmes were not what I wanted to do and they never worked for me but I found that recovering alone with minimal outside help worked perfectly. Being here on SR most of the day and keeping myself mentally busy helps a great deal too. Can I give you one piece of advice?
I'm not against AA. It's been helpful. I had two different sponsors before but they both let me go when I couldn't stop relapsing. It's become a vicious circle. I don't feel I dare get another sponsor because I fear I am going to relapse again. But without the guidance and support of a sponsor, my chances of sustained recovery are reduced. It's been a week since my last drink and I have been to one meeting and to the counselling session tonight. Both helped. But I agree, it's not the same as having a real sponsor who I can trust.
Sometimes 'expert' advice is helpful, even if it's the same advice you can get for free. My wife consistently asks me what I think (finance, furniture, parenting, etc.), and then goes and pays an 'expert' who typically tells her the same thing I told her. Then she comes back and says, "why did I pay for an expert?"
It gives her a level of confidence, that's all.
It gives her a level of confidence, that's all.
I once did 70 meetings in 90 days and you know what its not a cure all. It helped but when I wanted to drink I drank.
for me its the meetings plus the 12 step work plus regular meetings/calls with my sponsor plus a study group plus calling and texting guys in my home group plus daily meditation and prayer plus not picking up the first drink.
Staying sober is a lot of work and worth it!
for me its the meetings plus the 12 step work plus regular meetings/calls with my sponsor plus a study group plus calling and texting guys in my home group plus daily meditation and prayer plus not picking up the first drink.
Staying sober is a lot of work and worth it!
endless, on top of what everyone else said, you know it starts with you. Also, I want to add, you know the great thing about us being us is that we have choices everyday. We can choose to drink or to not. I think even changing, and/or making plans to do things differently may help too. Doing the same thing everyday is a pattern, "change a thought, move a muscle."
Good luck!!
Good luck!!
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