MadameX

Is there really such a thing as an addictive personality?
How many of you have become to addicted to other things whether is be food a ritual whatever it may be after you quit drinking or using?

Im curious because now that Im sober I started to notice in every stage in my life I have been addicted to something and did it excessively. For example when I was younger I ate sunflower seed all day everyday, it even made me sick once. Then in early adulthood I drank iced coffee like a maniac all day everyday... then alcohol became my addiction. But I am thinking to myself now am I gonna become addicted to something else? Im researching this on the net but wondered just how common this is for recovering addicts.

doggonecarl

Addictive personality...I don't know.

Since I've been in recovery, clean and sober over two years, I don't lightly toss around the terms "addiction" and "addict" any more.

Alcohol made my life unmanageable. I was an addict.
Meth made my life unmanageable. I was an addict.

I drink a lot of coffee, lots of tea. Eat too many sweets. Buy too many fountain pens and ink. But I'm not addicted to them.

They don't make my life unmanageable.

I say indulge in those things you enjoy and keep you sober.

paul99

My opinion is that there isn't such a thing. I was the same then and have to watch myself today. I started using sugar the way I used alcohol after I got sober. I had to cut that out of my life too. Am I on SR too much now? Do I overdo it with other things in my life? I don't know. What I call addictive amount of X might be normal to another person. I feel it's an individual thing. But what it comes down to is finding a way to get out of myself - so whether it be booze, food, internet, even recovery itself, I have to watch it and get to the deeper root of my actions and behaviors. Talking to my sponsor, to others, planning out my day in a more balanced manner, contemplation, etc. all help me stay balanced and not in a place where I am reaching to avoid myself. Like carl said, does it make my life unmanageable? If so it need further investigation. Nothing wrong with enjoying something a lot.

Just my opinion.

brazzaville

Ive been addicted to pinball, buying guitars, video games, sinus sprays, cigarettes, running, playing squash, certain tv shows, coffee....

I definitely have an addictive personality...sometimes I'm addicted to good things and sometimes to bad....

MadameX

Hmmm... I know after alcohol I am staying away from any psychoactive substances. The most I will take is tylenol or advil. Im terrified I will pick up another habit.

Came across this thought I would share:

" Some people have an addictive personality and they will tend to do things in a compulsive way. Unfortunately it is not easy to determine who is likely to become addicted and who is not before they actually become an addict. However it is safe to say that if you are addicted to one thing there is a pretty good chance that you will become addicted to other things as well. "

TrixMixer

OMG! YES< YES< YES!! I have fonund my Soul Mate (too bad your a MADAME, X) I would be filing for divorce as we speak

I SOOOOOOOO believe in an Addictive Personality. Give me something I like from $2 reading glasses to golf,to Eddy's Cappachino Yogurt (6 in my freezer at all times), and I am with you. Thank God I never tried drugs and gambling. I was a 3 pack a day smoker. When I find something I love--ONE or Once is NEVER enough. I just love what I love and not goin to hear I can't have as much as I want.

I am surprised I am still alive and not 700lbs, driving an oversized golf cart , with fridge for my yougurt, and an extra golf bag JUST in case I need reading glasses. Oh Yea!

TrixMixer

Bigndfan175

interesting topic - we're hurt/wounded/sick people looking to fill a void to avoid being our authentic self. Some people shop, smoke, drink, gamble, eat (that's a BIG ONE!!!) to feel better because who we are as a person, in our own mind, is so disgusting we try to destroy it. . So in that respect its not about addiction its about us not feeling comfortable in our own skin and looking for ways to fill the holes we wish were not there in our lives.

TrixMixer

Well Thanks, BigndFan, for bursting my bubble! I can tell you this I am sure not disgusting, and I am not trying to destroy anything about me. Alcoholism and the sobriety that followed was the one thing that allowed me to finally LOVE myself "addictive personality and all".

Gal220

Wow, that totally hits the nail on the head for me! Alcohol was not my first compulsion, and it's not even my "go-to". But alcohol was killing me. It had to go. Now I need to work on other areas of my life. But whenever I find myself obsessing or engaging in compulsive behavior (whether it's a biggie for me like overeating or self-injury or something more mundane like reading too much or watching too much tv), I need to take a breath and think about WHY I'm doing it. Am I trying to avoid a situation or a feeling? If so, I need to reevaluate. Is it distracting me from fulfilling my responsibilities? Then I need to reevaluate.

If not, then like TrixMixer, I can just enjoy myself!

tehmazzyland

I tend to get taken by anything that gives me an escape. For me that's the unifying theme of my 'addictions'. Whether it was books, drink, drugs, computer games, more drugs... getting out of it - anywhere but right here in my head.

Hmmm. This sums it up for me pretty well to be fair. I still hate myself even sober (partly for loving myself too much).

So addictive personality? Don't know. But such not-a-happy-bunny that even oblivion was a better alternative to life? Hell yes.

Bigndfan175

I don't think you're disgusting at all either. IMHO root cause isn't steeped in an addiction its foundation is something deeper and we act out our displeasure with addictive behavior. But hey, what do I know? Although I did sleep in a Holiday Inn last night

TrixMixer

OK!! This is where I have to draw the line--we are getting morbid! God you would think everybody in the world just LOVES themselves because they are not alcoholics. Look around you....at least for me I see people who seeminly have everything to be happy about and are still freakin miserable, There is not a thing they don't complain about, try to find them smiling ---even once. This people don't NEED alcohol to make them losers.

There are enough stories here to make one realize that we don't have to HATE ourselves , and drink to fill the empty spaces. Even when we get sober there is a period of adjustment, but I refuse to believe we continue to feel hopless about WHO we are.

I think that is the biggest excuse alcoholics use to keep drinking or keep being miserable even in sobriety. Maybe it has nothing to do with addiction, but more to do with just being like all the other non-alcoholic miserable people out there.

God to here some of you talk , I could begin drinking again---If I bought into the self- pity. Grow some----and realize we have a much better chance at happiness and acceptance of ourselves than those that do not have to climb out of Hell!---Geez!

Give YOURSELVES a break will Ya!!! It takes a very special person to get through what we have to, that does not happen because we are weak or not worthy, or disgusting---GRRRRRRRR!Just my opinion of course........

TrixMixer

Ok Bigndfan---


The above rant was not aimed at you--just read some of the posts and the negativity is palpable. Am I the only one who believes we are pretty cool people who got off track somewhere, but once back on track we have a lot to give back to society, and are very much worth something.

You don't learn a thing if everything has gone right in your life, you learn by adversity, and there is great wisdom when we get thru our journey.

Bigndfan175

What I hear you saying, and I may be off target is this: that addiction is just who you are, its your personality. Now excuse me while I balance on my soap box for a min or two.

I think that each addictive act is preceded by a feeling of helplessness or powerlessness (if it weren't then we wouldn't imbibe). So the addiction is a coverup for that feeling of helplessness. Why do we feel helpless? What is the fear associated with the powerlessness?

If I am criticized by my boss for my work product and storm into her office demanding an apology, that wouldn't be addictive behavior because I'm not feeling helpless or powerless. Its when I can't deal with the criticism and instead of addressing it I displace my feelings with drinking. If drinking were the way I regularly dealt with states of overwhelming helplessness then I would have a repetitive, intensely driven, apparently irrational drive to drink.

From Dr. Dodes

The notion of "addictiveness" is that objects or activities can magnetically draw people to overuse them. But once you appreciate that addiction is a psychological process within people, as I've described in this blog (and in my book The Heart of Addiction), it becomes clear that the idea of "addictiveness" is precisely backward. A case example of this (from my book) was a man who addictively sought prostitutes. It was important to him that they have certain physical characteristics: they had to be big and strong. When he was with them he required that they play out a fantasy in which they took on a submissive role. In treatment we learned that he had been bullied by larger and stronger sisters as a child. This made his addictive act clear. It was a displaced way to reverse the helplessness he had suffered as a child, while also expressing his rage about having been placed in that role. For this man, no other activity would have been as suitable (attractive) to express and (temporarily) resolve the helpless rage with which he struggled. Consequently, this action became a repetitive, compelled behavior. That is, it became an addiction. Neither the prostitutes nor the activity he performed with them were "addictive."

Threshold

I think there is such a thing as an addictive personality. I don't think all people who are addicted to substances have that particular issue, some of them just got physically hooked.

I've dealt with my addictive personality my entire life. Anxiety, terror and a disintegrating sense of self has kept me compulsively seeking an "out" for nearly 50 yrs.

Addressing my substance abuse and a couple other obvious addictions and working on the underlying psychological issues is helping me across the board. I am less likely to reach for something or some behavior to hide behind than I was a few years ago.

Most of my life I avoided booze and pills to the extreme because I knew if I started...yup, I was right.

I got to a point where i didn't care anymore, started drinking and drugging and in a few months was in the bad place.

But I know people who had drinking problems, they stopped drinking, problem went away and they got on with their lives.

TrixMixer

As for Dr. Dodes, I will simply agree with whatever he says because I am NOT a doctor, and would sound like an idiot trying to dispute it. LOL! [/COLOR][/B]

I suppose I have this belief because Alcoholism does have a genetic component ( chemical imbalance) and as a only child I grew up without a father who died when I was 6. I KNOW my perception of the wolrd was quite different than my classmates, and eventually I believe I drank to self-medicate those imbalances that were already there. If it was not alcohol, it would have been drugs, gambling, etc until that imbalance was corrected by medical intervention.

I know when I was going through therapy I read a great deal about Mental health and remember discussing the possibility that alcoholics could be saved from their years of misery self medicating, by simply being evaluated for that chemical imbalance and receiving treatment. I know if I were to have a child I would have them evaluated before they too their first drop of alcohol.

I am sorry Bigndfan, I in no way am as knowledgeable as a doctor, this simply reflects my belief. I am sorry to have taken up so much time with these beliefs. For me we are born the way we are born broken circuitry and all---how we deal with it is our road in life, and we take a lot of wrong turns.

That is just me --no one has to agree.

Trix

MadameX

Whatever it is whether its truly addiction or filling a void in my life, etc. Im working on trying to find the root of it so I dont repeat it with something else. Because like TrixMixer said whenever I find anything I absolutely love I do it in Excess... It scares me, years later i found out both of my grandfathers were alcoholics which i never knew and I didnt grow up in a drinking or abusive household... So why this, I almost feel genetically predisposed to addiction. And believe me this isnt an excuse just a theory while Im trying to understand why certain people become addicts and others dont. guess we'll never really know.

TrixMixer

Bigndfan,

By the way the "Holiday INN" comment---like you humor! LOL!!!

TrixMixer

MadameX,

I so agree with your statement. I Never had family drink around me growing up---My mother hated alcohol----come to find out my grandfather was a (not so nice drunk), and she saw what it does to people and families.

Wish we knew then what we know now about alcoholism having a genetic component! Could have saved us a lot of grief---at least with the alcohol, not so sure about about all the other, people, places, and things that stuck like velcro. But hey---such is life.

Trix

tehmazzyland

I appreciate the sentiment Trixmixer, but we're all different. My drinking came from a deep rooted nihilism coupled with knowingly, consciously bad choices. I personally won't blame chemical imbalances or genetics or a difficult child-hood, because if I don't take responsibility for my drinking, I can't take responsibility for my not drinking.

What/who I am now is a better person than who/what I was then. But I was definitely a bad person back then, and it was my own fault. And the moment I (personally) forget that I have been thoroughly unpleasant in the past through my own mistakes and decisions... the faster I'll make those decisions and mistakes again.

Woop woop for people who can find a way to be happy with themselves, but don't expect everyone to be able to feel the same.

Peace!