8 months ago
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
8 months ago
Tomorrow it will be 8 months ago that I last took a drink.
I remember it as though it was yesterday. I sat in my garden with a bottle of vodka and quite deliberately set out to drink myself into oblivion. I'd had 7 weeks of sobriety under my belt, I had started to feel better, everything was picking up for me.
But....it had been a struggle. My H was drinking every night. He was upset at me stopping. He deliberately tried to sabotage my sobriety by packing the fridge full of wine and beer. He knew we were drifting apart, that I was getting stronger and he wanted the old me back. We had drunk together for all of our relationship, any difficult times between us had been drowned out and glossed over and he couldn't cope when they were exposed. I understood his confusion and his anxiety and I wanted so much for him to move away from the bottle and grow with me but he wasn't ready. We both knew that things as they were were becoming unsustainable.
And then on May 25th, I caved. Not his fault but when I had a bad day, the alcohol lying around and the temptation became too much for me to bear. I gave up the fight.
I drank and drank and couldn't care less if I ever woke up again. There were no thoughts of any repercussions. I was a wreck. Crazy. A total mess. But I did indeed wake up the next morning despite my best efforts.
Something between us changed that fateful weekend. He woke up from the alcoholic madness and grabbed me back from the very edge of insanity. I posted on SR, and I read back to him the wonderful responses I'd got from people all over the world.
Thanks to you all, he began to open his eyes and really understand what had happened to us.
He and I have now been sober almost 8 months. Doing it together but following our own paths to get there. I'm in AA. He has quit through deciding he just wasn't going back to that place again. No big plan for him, no support groups, no higher power. Just solid commitment. 8 months sober after 21 years of a marriage spent doing some serious drinking.
I just never believed it could ever happen. Not in my wildest dreams.
But it is happening. Not easy, lots of ups and downs.
But here we are, on the eve of 8 months, drinking hot chocolate together.
Wow.
I remember it as though it was yesterday. I sat in my garden with a bottle of vodka and quite deliberately set out to drink myself into oblivion. I'd had 7 weeks of sobriety under my belt, I had started to feel better, everything was picking up for me.
But....it had been a struggle. My H was drinking every night. He was upset at me stopping. He deliberately tried to sabotage my sobriety by packing the fridge full of wine and beer. He knew we were drifting apart, that I was getting stronger and he wanted the old me back. We had drunk together for all of our relationship, any difficult times between us had been drowned out and glossed over and he couldn't cope when they were exposed. I understood his confusion and his anxiety and I wanted so much for him to move away from the bottle and grow with me but he wasn't ready. We both knew that things as they were were becoming unsustainable.
And then on May 25th, I caved. Not his fault but when I had a bad day, the alcohol lying around and the temptation became too much for me to bear. I gave up the fight.
I drank and drank and couldn't care less if I ever woke up again. There were no thoughts of any repercussions. I was a wreck. Crazy. A total mess. But I did indeed wake up the next morning despite my best efforts.
Something between us changed that fateful weekend. He woke up from the alcoholic madness and grabbed me back from the very edge of insanity. I posted on SR, and I read back to him the wonderful responses I'd got from people all over the world.
Thanks to you all, he began to open his eyes and really understand what had happened to us.
He and I have now been sober almost 8 months. Doing it together but following our own paths to get there. I'm in AA. He has quit through deciding he just wasn't going back to that place again. No big plan for him, no support groups, no higher power. Just solid commitment. 8 months sober after 21 years of a marriage spent doing some serious drinking.
I just never believed it could ever happen. Not in my wildest dreams.
But it is happening. Not easy, lots of ups and downs.
But here we are, on the eve of 8 months, drinking hot chocolate together.
Wow.
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
Awwww Jen. It is nice to hear a happy story where both partners in a relationship decide to try a new way of life. I'm really happy for you and your husband. Just keep taking it one day at a time. And try to 12 step him.....lol.
Natom.
Natom.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Jen,
Thankyou for posting this. I find it interesting that you are following a program and your husband isnt. I need a program to keep me sane and live a relatively happy sobriety. My program explains to me what is going on with me and the tools to cope with sober living.
How would you compare your sobriety. I know this is a big ask but I am genuinely I interested.
CaiHong
Thankyou for posting this. I find it interesting that you are following a program and your husband isnt. I need a program to keep me sane and live a relatively happy sobriety. My program explains to me what is going on with me and the tools to cope with sober living.
How would you compare your sobriety. I know this is a big ask but I am genuinely I interested.
CaiHong
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