CuteNGayYay

whatever I guess Its harder for me to stop since im gayyyyyyyy I don't and wont

MIRecovery

So what is your plan to stay sober this time?

Coldfusion

Here is today's reading from Native Wisdom for White Minds:

TEARS/BODY

The body is full of stuffed tears. Tears of grief and tears of rage and the steam makes the body cry. Then the body is ready to receive love.--Angeline Locey, Hawai'ian Healer.

When I confuse being stuffed with being contented, I have some learning to do. I can start by letting my body cleanse itself.


--discussion to follow--

aasharon90

From looking at ur picture or aviatar up
top, you look like a nice person. I don't
know you personally, but I bet we as in
many in recovery have similar things in
life situations that are common. Not
everything, but situations in life that is a
common problem. One being addiction.

Hi, Im Sharon and Im an alcoholic in
recovery since 8-11-90. That's a many
one days at a time not drinking, beginning
with the very first day in rehab back in
August 1990.

I bet there are many here that can relate
to your story, your life experiences up to
now. So many people began sharing their
stories with me and I was presently surprised
that I indeed had quite a few things in common
with them all.

What has helped me stay sober each day was
to learn about my addiction to alcohol which is
my drug of choice. I was taught by teachers or
members in recovery, councilors with a degree
in the study of substance abuse and how it
affected them and others like them. They fed
me that important information and handed me
tools to use in my everyday life to learn to live
each day without drinking. To use those tools
to help me out in many of lifes situations that
I would normally drink over.

I learned from them and for the past 22 yrs have
been simply passing on that knowledge to others
struggling with addiction themselves so that I
can continue to live life on lifes terms sober.

So can you.

In my heart I believe you like many are worth it
to enjoy life to the upmost with all the gifts
promised to us in recovery.

Coldfusion

Many native cultures include steam baths as part of the natural healing process and ongoing care of the body.

We store so much in the body. We eat too much, and we put in foods that are too fat, too sweet, too artificial, and we expect the body to receive all of this with no help. We put in feelings and emotions that we don't know how to process, or that we've forgotten how or refuse to, process. Slowly the body becomes "stuffed" with "tears."

We need to give the body the opportunity to cleanse itself. We need to rid ourselves of stored-up grief and rage so we that have the opportunity to receive what is there for us.

ScottFromWI

Assuming you are saying you slipped up, sorry to hear that but don't let it stop you from getting right back in. Not sure what you mean by "dont and won't"?

Weasel1966

CNGY ... A bit of a cryptic message. Are you saying its harder to stop because you are gay?

Hope you get back at it.

sugarbear1

I know too many people who are able to stay stopped and many of them don't use their sexual orientation as an excuse to continue to slowly hurt themselves with alcohol or drugs any more.....

Things only get worse when we keep drinking/using.

You can stay stopped, too!!!

Coldfusion

By the way, Cutie logged off pretty soon after making the first post. But please keep giving him support so he sees it when he comes back.

mecanix

CuteNGayYay,
Sir Elton John got sober , Rob Halford got sober , I got sober , gay people can and do get sober and can be happy that way .
In your posts you sound intelligent, if you read up on ways , maybe go to meetings of various types and stay open to learning about how others deal with this then i'm sure you'll find a way to deal with it,

Stay Strong , M

raja12

Hey cngy. Sorry 2 hear u had a slip. Its happened to a lot of us,I'm sure. Hope you just get back on with the business of getting sober. Its just a minor setback. U still have 2day. Prayers and best wishes 2 you.

CuteNGayYay

Thanks for all the support! <3

vegibean

Because your gay?? As a straight person, let me tell you how awesome I think YOU are!! I don't think any of us here care that you're gay, and I know you've probably had to deal with abandonment issues, people rejecting you because of being gay, but you know what??? F*ck them, do they know who you REALLY are??? Do they know that THAT is what matters? Not who you fall in love with?? They don't deserve you.

Glad you're back CNGY! If I had a bag of Lifesaver Sour Gummies I'd share them with you right now.

Boozehound86

I happen to be a gay male as well, it's probably why I started drinking/ drugging in the first place when I was younger before I came out, I felt ashamed of who I was and felt I had been dealt a bad hand of cards. We don't have it very easy, drugs and booze are very prevalent in our community.
Another reason We have it hard is because, guys can be deceptive, toxic, assholes. I went on a date with one on Monday, and it just cost me my 4 months of sobriety. I got the feeling of hopelessness/ forever alone and I grabbed a bottle.
It sucks dude, but got to hold your head high. Get back on the horse.

CuteNGayYay

aww thanks VegiBean haha I have some Sour candy forget which though. Day 2 and will have some tonight

Xune

Addiction is the great equalizer.

Just sayin'...

chainsaw4618

Hey Cute, sorry for the slip. Hope you hang in there and stay here. Best of luck to you (from a frequent relapser).

Hevyn

CuteNGay - Never give up - not ever. We believe in you.

fini

CNGY,
could be that i'm gay, could be that i'm not. or maybe both. or neither.
doesn't matter.
what matters, and what might pertain to drinking and slipping up and quitting and returning to drinking is what i think you mentioned/asked about in another post: the hanging out at bars and with drinking buddies a lot as your social life. gay or straight or neither or questioning....you might need to seriously stay away from that for a while to support yourself in beginning abstinence.
that that's tough and necessitates a change of some magnitude...yes. but isn't change what you want? can't have it without making changes.
the other thing is....belonging. finding a place and people where we can feel we "belong" is huge; was for me. never really felt it that i can remember; always on some emotional level looking for it.
closest i've come is with a bunch of sober drunks. who would have guessed...

so, yeah, i get it about "community", and fitting and being accepted...but if it's around drinking, then without the drink...how real is it?

being gay doesn't result in having to hang out at bars and it being harder to quit. it might well mean you have some additional challenge, or maybe not additional but different from the vast majority. yours to decide to deal with. or not.

Change4good

Awww, come on. :-) I care. I have always found you cute. Even more reason for you to get sober. . .so others can enjoy all your cuteness. I'm sure it is even better when you are sober.

Hang in there.