Lunetta

Hi all,
Today is my 21st day sober which I am really excited about. I have my sister-in-law's 30th birthday party at my in-law's house coming up on Saturday night which I wasn't too worried about until her husband called today to ask if they could borrow our margarita machine. It suddenly reminded me that I own a $400 margarita machine, and have a bar in my home, and also made me realize that this will be a heavy drinking event that I will not be partaking in (the drinking part).

I have to go, I know this is something that most would say to avoid but I feel like if I can't do this, then how am I going to deal with other family holidays and gatherings. There is one drug addict that everyone pretends is fine even though he steals, and at least one maybe 2 alcoholic/probem drinkers that will be there (not counting myself). I already texted my sister-in-law and explained that I quit drinking. I didn't go into detail, I was hoping to have the conversation over the phone but she is at work. She said she totally understands and feels the same way (not likely, she was saying she can't handle drinking like she used to, etc. which is not really what my issue is...). I think as long as she's in the know I should be okay.

Just had to get that out there. Husband is fully supportive and even wants to quit drinking for me (he drinks 1 beer a month I think). I asked him to please have a beer or something that night so I can at least use the excuse of designated driver.

paul99

Well, if you're going to attend, make sure that you have an escape plan if the heat gets too much for you. You don't have to be there the entire time - even making an appearance can do it. Your sobriety is worth more than temporarily hurt feelings.

Anna

I hope it works for you.

I wouldn't go. You don't have to go. In fact, learning to say 'No' was the single most important thing in my recovery.

Dee74

I'm with Anna on this one, Lunetta.

You'll deal with things better down the line...living sober is a skill to be acquired practised and learned like any other.

I had to make sure that, before I went out into the big wide world again, I was 110% sure nothing could ambush me, nothing or noone could rock my recovery.

I might be wrong, but it doesn't sound to me like you're at that point Lunetta ?

D

MIRecovery

I am with Dee and Anna as well.

The only thing you have to do is stay sober. The rest are choices good or bad. You will have a life time of family events. Get sober first and then you can attend events in the future.

There have been a ba-zillion people on SR that thought they could do it and found out the could not. Put nothing ahead of your sobriety

PeacefulRain

You can always come down with the flu or some kind of a bug on Friday.

There is no shame in not going to this one. As you get further in sobriety these events wont be as difficult. If it's just to early don't go. You can always send your husband with a gift he can say hello, send your birthday wishes to her and apologies you couldn't make it and leave.

Lunetta

Thanks everyone, I will consider coming up with an excuse. One thing is that my husband has to work early the next day, so we can't stay long anyway. I'm not worried that I'm going to be tempted, more nervous about what the heck I'm going to tell them if they ask. Thank you for your responses, if I do go I will definitely have an escape plan.

doggonecarl

There are things you have to do, and those things you think you have to do. A party for your sister in law is the latter.

Your recovery is the former.

Good luck.