helpme2005

Stepson is in need of help but wont get any! Now he wont talk to me. TElls me he his 21 and doesnt need to be told what to do. He has been drinking since 16! Lived with grandparents, they kicked him out in tough love, and now with mom. He refuses to come here and be with us. Long story! NO abuse! Dad was a dad, and mom and grandma were his buddy! Mom is still being the buddy!

So how do I cope with this. Mom is enabling! Grandma is getting there. Long story. Great grandma gives him money.

I am going out of my mind!!! What can I say to myself to keep my mind out of the coffin. HIs behaviour is out of control...he will get arrested, drunk driving, or hurt himself or others.

Stepmom tired of seeing passed out pics on fb! Yes, I am done on fb!!! Not hidiing but protecting my heart since he doesnt protect his own right now.

Dee74

hi and welcome helpme2005

I'm really sorry for your situation. Unfortunately until your son wants to change there's not a lot anyone else can do.

I'm not sure there's much you can do about the enabling relatives either.

You can protect yourself and the rest of your family with healthy boundaries tho.

I've moved your thread to our Family and Friends forum - I know you'll find help and support here from people who've been through what you are right now

D

vegibean

Unfortunately, with him being so young he probably doesn't see it as a problem and if he hasn't been arrested yet, or something bad hasn't happened, then maybe that's what you need to LET happen. Pray he doesn't have something worse happen to him, but if his attitude is as you say, what's the point?

I work in a treatment center and I see parents bring their young adult children into treatment, and it is rarely a success when they are MADE TO GO, as soon as they get back out, they go right back to getting high, and they just went to get their parents off their backs.

That's the truth. I really wish you the best and at the same time, please think about attending an alanon meeting to get yourself and your family some support.

artsoul

Welcome helpme -

I'm sorry your family is going through this. I can understand your frustration and worry. Have you ever considered AlAnon (it's a support group for loved ones of alcoholics)? We have a forum here for support as well:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Have you talked to his mom? I wish I could tell you there was a way to get him to stop drinking, but for the most part, it has to be something he's ready for and/or wants.

Glad you're here!

Natom

It is HIS behaviour. He is responsible for his own actions and any consequences he gets as a result of taking those actions. You can't force him to do anything. You can't even nudge him if it is something he doesn't want to do. I only went to rehab when I felt I had to go not when other people were telling me.

Natom.